A LITTLE WEDNESDAY Q&A

You mentioned ‘selling’ Mike on suburbs- I’d LOVE to hear more about this as a couple who isn’t ‘sold’ on moving from the city!

Hmmm. So I think if you’re both not on the same page, I would wait to move to the suburbs until you feel the pull. You may never! Mike and I both knew eventually we wanted to raise our family in the suburbs so we knew the suburbs were in our future, I was just ready before he was. I’m in a few Facebook groups for the local towns around us and “suburb regret” has been a hot topic recently– especially in a post-quarantine world. I think a lot of people moved out of the city quickly and probably before they were genuinely ready. (That is, had there not been a pandemic, they wouldn’t have moved.) It is a big shift to go from the city to the suburbs.

One concession that we made as a couple was that we purposefully looked at, and ultimately purchased, a home that was walking distance to town and the train. At the time it didn’t matter to me, but it did to Mike…. and he was SO right. It changes the feel of the suburbs that we don’t have to get in our car to go to dinner or to go grab bagels on a Sunday morning. We’ve been walking to daycare and the grocery store even. Might be something to consider!

Your sharing about the wins has really helped me with my outlook, especially as a mom. Would love any advice on how to further counting and enjoying the wins!!

Good and bad things constantly occur. So I try really hard to focus on letting the bad/frustrating/disappointing moments go and to cherish/relish/savor the good moments. If I latch onto something “bad,” it can take over my day…. for some reason, it’s not as easy to bring that same energy to the good! I am by no means perfect, but I swear changing this mindset has helped tremendously. I can actually feel the bad things just quickly passing by and then I try to let the good things swell up (I try to picture a sunrise with the sky getting brighter and air getting warmer).

How is y’all’s marriage doing after the past few years (Covid, pregnancy, baby, breastfeeding, toddler)? It’s so hard. Any tips and tricks that work to keep the two of you connected to each other? We started having a budget check in every night and that has been great for us.

I think everyone can agree any kind of relationship requires work… especially during a pandemic, especially during pregnancy, especially after having a baby. I think we’ve had normal growing pains as we navigate parenthood together, but I think we’re pretty good about communicating. Probably our best strength as a couple is that we both are really attuned to what we need and then can make sure we’re both filling up our cups.

How is your streak going on Duolingo and are you still using Headspace?

Still going for both! I do the same few meditations with Headspace (the basic 10 minute guided is my go-to) and I don’t think I really need the guides anymore, honestly. I find myself meditating frequently throughout the day and can tap in and out of it as needed without the app…. but just can’t let the streak go 😜

As for Duolingo, I got to a point with French where I felt like if I wanted to take it to the next level, I would have to start doing in-person classes or restarting with a private tutor. I jumped into past tense and didn’t feel totally confident with my accent.

Anyway, I switched to Spanish, which I took for five years between high school and college. It’s been really great and more practical for my everyday life. Interestingly though, I feel like it’s weirdly been good practice for French too. I can’t really explain it well, but I’m NOT a language person. It doesn’t come easily or naturally to me, whatsoever. Switching back to Spanish and redoing the same lessons I did in French? I’m shocked at my recall of the French words. I have found myself saying the French word/phrases in my head at the same time as Spanish? For a non-language person, it’s truly one of the more shocking things. (I totally thought the French would disappear from my head! Not become more cemented.)

How did your hubby learn to cook? Does he have any favorite cookbooks, tips, or tricks?

He got into it in college! I am answering on his behalf without consulting him, so I hope I’m correct here. He is obsessed with watching cooking videos on Youtube. He has a handful of favorite chefs that he watches for either recipes or cooking techniques. He’s also just not afraid to go for something even if he has never done a particular skill before! It’s impressive 🥰

When will you share your house reno progress/pictures?! Loving the sneak peeks!

Guys, I promise we’re SO CLOSE. Our bedroom furniture shipped early after being delayed (!!!) so we’re almost ready there. And we’re adding a couple of finishing touches to the living room… the dining room is pretty much there…. and the bathroom needs a couple of tweaks. It’s been hard not to share sneak peeks, partly out of excitement and partly because we live in the house and it’s bound to show up on my IG/IG story. Hopefully you guys love everything as much as I do!

Any tips for changing mindset from “I’m not working enough” to being able to enjoy the extra time with kiddo?? I’m currently struggling with feelings that I’m lagging during critical career building years.

Okay so I definitely have felt this tug and I don’t think there’s any “right way.” Every woman is going to have different priorities and I think everyone needs to do what’s right for them. Personally, I feel like while yes, this is a great time to build a career, it’s also a short window when kids are little. I don’t know, it feels like I can always have a career, but I won’t get back this time with Jack. I’m still working, but on a part time basis and it has been a great balance for me. When I’m working, I’m working and then when I’m not, I’m not. I love that I can dedicate time to work and then put it aside to be fully present in mom-mode.

I really feel happy about this and I’ve never felt less… stressed? I feel 100% confident that I’m doing what’s best for our family and it feels really good. (Of course, this is an incredible privilege that I can do this.)

How did you introduce Jack to solids? Did you follow BLW or purées or both? Sample menu for Jack in a day?! Your favorite store-bought snacks?

We did a mix of purees and whole foods. This worked best for us and looking back, I think I made the right choice for us. With that said, I found food to be an incredibly stressful part of Jack’s first year. It felt so overwhelming and I constantly felt like I was messing up and not doing it “right.” Every weigh in at the pediatrician felt like a report card of how well I was doing as a mom. I wish I could go back and tell myself to re-effing-lax about it. I felt like I was constantly failing, when in reality we were all just doing our best and guess what? He figured it out, I figured it out, and everything worked out.

Jack has a hearty appetite so we do a lot of food throughout the day:

Pre-Breakfast: granola bar + Once Upon A Farm pouch

Breakfast: three scrambled eggs, sometimes with cheese

Mid-Morning Snack: granola bar, apple sauce pouch, cheese, or puffs

Lunch: leftovers from our dinner, PB&J sandwich, or chicken nuggets with vegetables and/or fruit

After Nap Snack: granola bar, apple sauce pouch, cheese, or puffs

Dinner: leftovers from our dinner the night before, chicken, beef lasagna, meatballs, salmon, hamburger, etc. with a Once Upon a Farm vegetable meal or steamed vegetables and some kind of starch

“Dessert”: We pregame bedtime with a banana!

Store bought snacks: Cerebelly Smart Bars, Tillamook cheese snack portions, Once Upon A Farm pouches, applesauce pouches, Dr. Praeger spinach littles

What’s your current skin care?

I talked about some new products I purchased at the beginning of the year and I’m still obsessed. In addition to my usual Fresh Soy Cleanser, I’m using Nuria exfoliator, and Drunk Elephant’s Whipped Cream, Hydration Serum, and Facial Oil.

Plans for Jack’s schooling in the future? Public, private, Montessori, etc

Honestly we’re just taking it one day (year) at a time. I FIRMLY believe every kid is different and not every type of learning environment fits for every kid. Our plan is to figure out what we think Jack needs and what he would benefit the most from. He is going to go to a preschool for a few hours a week starting in September (a little 2s program) in addition to daycare. I am excited for him… He had so much fun at his evaluation playing in the classroom, so I think he’s going to love it.

I’m struggling to find a going home outfit for my baby boy due in July. Any advice??

WHITE ONESIE. I am team white onesie all the way. It’s such a whirlwind getting discharged from the hospital and babies don’t really need full outfits. I loved Jack in his little onesie and hospital cap. So sweet. I embroidered Jack’s myself (I actually had two with me, a newborn size and a 0-3 months), but this Etsy shop has a classic looking onesie.

Would love your insights into why you choose to show Jack/include him in ads. It’s such a personal choice and I don’t think there is a right or a wrong, just wondering what worked best for your family in regards to Jack’s autonomy. Currently childless myself, trying to gather all the advice before becoming pregnant!

At first, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. It’s so hard to envision how it all works and what’s best before you have a baby…. really about anything. Ultimately (and very frankly), the campaigns I have the opportunity to work on are very lucrative and truly opportunities and that includes ones including Jack. Again with everything, we’re doing what we think is the best thing for him and his future and I hope he agrees down the road. We worked with our financial advisor and accountants to appropriately set everything up. The biggest thing for me is that the money he earns is money he has earned– it’s his. It’s not a gift from us and it doesn’t count “against” anything we would already do for him as parents (like sports expenses, tuition, etc.). Money is already so complicated and loaded– I never want it to feel weaponized or leveraged as a parent. That’s as much as I feel comfortable disclosing here, I think it’s a fair question (especially since it’s uncharted territory), but I also think he has a right to privacy beyond that!