There is no second chance to prepare. When we prepare well for a job, a speech or new responsibility, we step into that season with greater ease. The same applies to marriage. The harder you work to prepare before marriage the easier start to married life you’ll have.
1. Love God
Invest in your relationship with God. The depth of your relationship with God will be reflected in every other relationship you have including that of your husband if you choose to get married one day. So, go all out, get creative and fall in love all over again with the King of Heaven. Set aside regular time to pray, read the Bible and enjoy His presence.
When our heavenly relationship is flourishing, then we are in a position to give to others rather than needing to receive from them all of the time. If we are getting all that we need emotionally from our Heavenly Father, we can be a blessing to those around us. When we don’t allow the time and space for God to meet our needs, we begin to approach other relationships out lack which can be quite ugly. A healthy relationship with God will overflow into every other area of your life. ‘You’ll never come second by putting God first.’
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind and to love your neighbour as you love yourself.’ (Matt 22:37)
2. Love yourself
If you don’t see worth in yourself then you won’t accept it from anyone else either. This is why so many girls get stuck in relationships that destroy their self-worth. They never believe how valuable they are in the first place. Do the practical things that will help you feel confident about being you. But more importantly, realise that true confidence comes from the stuff we tell ourselves internally.
- If social media is killing you with comparison, turn it off.
- Unfollow the people that have you second-guessing your worth.
- Write a love letter to yourself telling you how great you are. Seriously, try it.
- Healthy self esteem is a building block for great relationships.
Love you and you’ll be ready to accept that others do too.
3. Love others
Practising loving family members is the best test for marriage. Often its the people closest to us that get to see the ‘real us.’ So how does the real you look right now? Begin honouring your family the way you one day want to honour your spouse.
Loving others can be as simple as being kind. Like actually kind, to everyone and anyone you meet. Why not offer to babysit for a married couple you look up to? Sow into a relationship you admire and offer to be a blessing.
Allow the kindness of God to dictate your interactions with people. It’ll keep your heart light and ready to love.
4. Live your best life now
What kind of person do you imagine being when you are married? Is there work to do between who you are now and who you want to be in the future? Start now. Go do the stuff you dream of. Buy the house, go on an overseas trip. Live the life you dream about now.
5. Get involved at church and in the things you love.
People with interests is interesting. Get involved in the things you love whether it be crochet or cricket and everything else in-between. If you love it, do it. It’ll put a spring in your step. I believe it delights the heart of God when He sees us enjoying life. Be confident about what you love.
When it comes to being involved at church, find out where you love to contribute and get amongst it. There is nothing more attractive than someone who loves God is passionate about building His Kingdom. Don’t wait, and don’t fear ‘what if our interests don’t line up’ just trust God that if you are doing what you love then the right person will come along your path at the right time and all the details will work out.
6. Learn the basics needed for living out of home
The idea that you might be preparing for married life can make even the simplest of tasks more enjoyable. Whether it’s adding to your meal repertoire or practising separating the whites from the colours you’re setting yourself up for a win if you can walk into a marriage with a few skills up your sleeve.
7. Pray for your husband to be
While you may not know who your future husband will be, God does. Pray whatever you feel led to pray; for his relationship with God, that he would have favour in his workplace. Pray that God would continue to work on each of you so that you would perfectly complement each other for the day when you get together. It’s a bit of fun, but can be totally worthwhile.
Praying this way prepares your heart for a relationship that has spiritual depth. And it will protect your heart from distraction. You can’t be praying for your incredible husband to be and still get caught up falling for Mr-not-even-close-to-right.
Got a tip to share? Comment below.
Carly lives on the Gold Coast, Australia with her husband Joe and their two girls: Beni and Selah. She is a passionate follower of Jesus Christ, a lover of His Church, people and life in general.
Her latest book Daughter Wait! centres around a different approach to dating and relationships and is available for pre-order now.
If you’ve ever wondered: How do I have a Godly relationship? How do I know if he is the one? What are realistic boundaries in a Christian relationship? How do I move on from a broken heart? Then this book is for you. PRE-ORDER TODAY