Tackling self-worth… again [Real Talk]

carly Riordan

So here’s the thing. Writing a book, yep, it was hard. It was challenging, emotional, time-consuming and full of setbacks. But, it was nothing compared to the next bit. The bit where I  have to overcome the struggle within and get the book out there. 

Getting the book out there requires getting ‘me’ out there. Being transparent about the mistakes I made when dating and the experience of my abortion was not easy, but in the safety of my own home, behind closed doors, it felt safe, ordered and hidden.

For me, sharing words is easy. I have words to burn.

Sharing images on the other hand. Hardest. thing. ever.

After finally completing my book, beginning the journey of telling people about it (aka marketing) felt more confronting than anything I’d ever faced before. Too hard. Too real. I’d rather just move on to my next creative project and hide under a rock.

If I’m really honest, the social media side of things, found me facing issues I thought I’d nailed to the cross years ago.

“Post photos of yourself, people want to connect personally with you.” 

“Go live, it’ll be fun.”

“And you’ll need promo trailer for the book.” 😳

I’ve avoided photos for as long as I can remember. I’ve overcome this fact twice in my life. On my wedding day, because—how inappropriate for a bride to run from the camera. And about two years ago when I launched my blog and someone told me I had to have a photo. Both times I braced myself as you would an upcoming surgery.

Going live felt scarier than preaching. I had to psych myself up for it for ages then when I was done I was so filled with adrenaline I couldn’t sleep for hours.

A photo can mask or a magnify what we feel inside. For me a still frame caused me to confront the fact that after all these years still, I battle with my self-worth.

On this note, I toyed with leaving the whole marketing side of things. ‘If I am doing what God is asking of me then shouldn’t the fruit be peace, love and joy? Well, in my experience, no.

Peace and perseverance often don’t go hand in hand. I’m discovering that sometimes in order to get to where we must go we must confront some of the lies that lurk in the darkness deep within us.

As we follow Christ somehow the practical aspects of our life force us to confront the realities within that don’t line up with His truth. Whether it’s starting a business, asking someone out on a date, training for a marathon, going on a diet etc. The struggles we face externally only reflect the real struggles we face within.

God has already done such a huge work in the area of my self-worth area over the years but I am compelled to let Him go deeper. As I type these words I can feel the emotion brimming as a lump in my throat. Evidence that God is not finished yet.

So, I press on with you in mind. Finding wholeness in this area will mean I am more able to share the message of Daughter Wait and that alone gives me purpose. People need this book. I know there is hope, healing and welcome invitation to date differently. I am determined to a good steward of the message I have faithfully penned.

So, this is me. Just me. The stain of yesterday’s makeup the fad of using actual products instead of a baby wipe at night has waned. Slightly fuzzy morning hair, because mid-week I should probably rest it from the straightener, right? And in bed, because it’s one of the only places in our house that appears tidy.

carly Riordan

But I’m showing up because this is the beginning.

There will be more on this topic. I have felt the Holy Spirit closing in on this topic for over a year now. It seems as good a time as any to flesh out these revelations and cement them in the way I have discovered only writing does. Who knows, maybe the series will end with a picture of me in a bikini. Haha, probably not.

In love and self-worth,

Carly Riordan

Carly Riordan Author

About Carly

Carly lives on the Gold Coast, Australia with her husband Joe and their two girls: Beni and Selah. She is a passionate follower of Jesus Christ, a lover of His Church, people and life in general.

She has served in her local church for over 15 years as a worship leader, pastor and church builder. Carly has lectured on the Theology of Worship at Bible College but gravitates towards a style of writing and speaking that has her telling endless stories infused with the grace and truth of Jesus. You’ll find yourself in her stories and be inspired to live more intentionally and passionately for God.

Her latest book Daughter Wait! centres around a different approach to dating and relationships and is available for pre-order now.

Inspired by all aspects of creativity, the Word and the beautiful people she encounters daily, Carly is passionate about helping others live a Spirit-led life and step confidently into all that God has created them for.

Daughter Wait Book

Daughter Wait!

Daughter Wait! is an invitation to consider a different approach to dating and relationships. If you have ever wondered: How do I have a Godly relationship? How do I know if he is the one? What are realistic boundaries in a Christian relationship? How do I move on from a broken heart? Then this book is for you.

‘Within these pages are my most vulnerable and heartbreaking moments, along with the powerful revelations and realisations that set my heart on a new course. It is a warning of the perils of dating and a reminder of the promises of a Godly relationship.’

Written in Carly’s unique conversational style, you’ll cry, laugh and cheer as you follow her story of love and loss. Daughter Wait is a timeless reminder that regardless of your past, God has the best for your future.

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