4 Ways to Tell If Someone Is in Your Corner

One thing that I think is a big struggle for our generation (and even more for the younger generation) is feeling lonely or alone, despite being more connected than ever. (At least, “on paper” at least there’s more connections happening through social media and the internet.) But once you start to take stock of who is in your corner, you might be surprised! You’re not as alone as you might think. And it’s something to keep in mind with your own relationships as well– ask yourself if you’re truly there for them too. Maxie is here to share tips for finding your support system!


4 Ways to Tell If Someone Is in Your Corner

Guest post by Maxie McCoy

We all need a little help here and there, because none of us are meant to travel this lifetime alone. Although, when you’re stressed out…or completely overwhelmed…or totally emotional…or really confused about a decision…it can feel like it’s just you against the world. It’s not just you. You’re definitely not alone. But you can’t surround yourself with just anyone in order to get through the tough times (and the exciting ones). Rather, you’ve got to surround yourself with people who have your back.

I call these people your cheerleaders. They’re the ones who believe in you, fiercely. You could tell them you’re going to start the world’s best hot dog vending machine and they’d be all about it…not because it’s a great idea, but because they’re all in on supporting you. They’re cheering you on with love, with enthusiasm, no matter what’s happening in your life.

But what if you’re not sure who your cheerleaders are? What if you don’t know who’s in your corner? Or who has your back? Well, here’s a few good ways to know…

They have your best interest at heart. Rather than theirs. These people don’t project their issues or worries on to you (Or if they do, they’re aware enough to call themselves out). Because none of us are perfect, and we’re all each other mirrors. Nine times out of ten, someone who has your back will act with your interest in mind….they’ll talk with your interest in mind…and they’ll support you with your interest in mind.

They’re not offended if you don’t take their advice. Real cheerleaders know that you’re your own person. So even if they sit up all night with you talking about how your boss is the worst and how you should totally quit, they won’t hold it against you when you work for that same boss for another year. Because they know that you know what’s best for you, and they support that, even if they’ve poured their wisdom into you and you’re not taking it. Real cheerleaders won’t get offended by that. They don’t take it all so personally.

They challenge you (lovingly). The people in your corner believe in your potential. They share what they believe in you, and about you, but they don’t paint you with their unrealistic expectations. They simply believe that greatness is ahead of you and will challenge you to that. This means that they may give you feedback, lovingly. It means that they tell you the truth, when everyone else is smiling to your face. It means that they might disagree with you. These are good things, especially when they’re done with love. It means that your cheerleaders are cheering you to an even better version of yourself.

They cheer you on even when you’re not on top. Think about cheerleaders in sports…they’re still cheering even when the team is losing. Your IRL cheerleaders are there for you even when you’re not winning. Even when you’re a little bit off track. They don’t need you to be popular, or to be successful, in order to be by your side. They’re there for the highs and for the lows.

It’s important to know who these people are. And to be able to identify these qualities as you’re building new relationships. Cheerleaders aren’t perfect, but they’re normally confident enough in themselves to be confident in you. When you find them, keep them close.

For a full roster of people you need in your corner, like the cheerleader, read Chapter 5 of Maxie’s book, You’re Not Lost.

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They’re not offended if you don’t take their advice. I love that so much. Great thing to think about this Monday!

supal // @chevronseclairs

THIS! I needed this. I’ve been struggling in this department lately. I’m an American expat in London and have had to make friends as an adult. A lot of my friends came from the blog world and it’s quite cut throat and competitive here rather than uplifting. When the blog competition bleeds into a friendship, it isn’t the most genuine and I’m starting to realize this the hard way. Thank you for sharing, Maxie! Always love your posts.


I really enjoyed reading this and agree with all the points here. I think friends who will challenge you in a loving way are so valuable. I also think those who can cheer you on when you’re struggling are so so important.

Emily | Snippets of Emily’s Life xx