It’s graduation season and I feel like I’m experiencing my own version of graduation. Jack just turned 10 months old and… he doesn’t look like a baby to me anymore. I also don’t feel like a new mom. Maybe it’s because a handful of my friends have recently had their first babies in the past four weeks, I’m like, wow, I’m not the new mom on the block anymore! It’s wild.
What people say about it going by so fast is so, so right. I couldn’t even comprehend just how fast it would go until I was fully in it. Now I am almost holding my breath as life whirrs by.
I know there’s always a big narrative around motherhood about carving out your identity again after having a baby. I still very much feel like Carly, but as the days come and go, I find myself stepping more into the “Jack’s mom” identity too. I don’t see it as a negative though. I have plenty of labels of how I identify myself, and being “Jack’s mom” is just another one of many. It is who I am, among other things.
Even in just the past ten months, I’m incredibly aware of how fast it’s going and that my role as “Jack’s mom” will continue to evolve. My role right now to an infant is different than who Jack will need as a kid and then a teen and then (gulp) an adult. I see the role shifting right now distinctly as Jack crawls around, exploring the house– knowing just weeks ago he wasn’t going anywhere unless I carried him. And also as he discovers food– breastfeeding has been a wonderful, however demanding, experience.
Watching Jack grow up is already one of the greatest joys and it’s also painful in a way. Every day, I know he’s getting bigger and older. I both want him to stay exactly the same and also can’t wait for his next milestone. I love that I get to know him even more with every passing day, even though I would also like to get one more moment of him as a newborn to snuggle!
During the day, there are moments when I’m counting down the minutes until bath time and then bedtime…. and I feel guilty for wishing the time away. It’s just going by way, way too fast and I wish time could slow down just a little!
So well said!! I’ve loved watching you become a mom to sweet Jack!
http://www.elspethsdaybyday.com
This post was lovely. Also, great picture of Jack!
My daughter was born just a couple of months before Jack (she is turning a year old next week) and this post resonates deeply in my life too. I mean, honestly, I could have written it! Motherhood is such a wild and amazing experience and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way about time passing! It feels like it goes so much faster with kiddos. Sending big hugs to you and Jack!
Someone once said of raising children that the days are long but the years are short. As the mom of an adult daughter and the Nonna of her little girl, I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. ❤️
This made me tear up. I’m a first time mom of a 4 wk old little boy and it’s all so true. The days can be really hard and breastfeeding is also hard but it goes by so quick. It’s hard sometimes, in the exhaustion, to enjoy the little moments but it’s all so fleeting.
That last paragraph hit me right in the feels. Right there with you mama
My little girl turns one next week and this is exactly how I feel! Thank you for sharing your experience. Jack is lucky to have you as his mom!
I feel the exact same way – I have a 3 year old and a 6 week old baby. It feels like just yesterday my toddler was this tiny and little, but at the same time it’s flown by so quickly. We aren’t sure if we’re done having kids or not, so I’m really trying to savor every moment with my littlest because I know she won’t be a baby for long.
I so so so so resonate with this Carly, especially the last part there. The days are long but the years are short as they say. He’s such a happy little boy!
Ugh my son is about to be 5 months old and I can’t believe it. So bittersweet! This was such a good post, comforting to know there are other moms feeling the same!
This is such a beautiful post. Motherhood can be so bittersweet at times. I am a mom to two boys – now 12 and 9. Your words simultaneously bring back a flood of memories, while also ringing true still today. Happy days ahead to you!