Diary No. 27

The past two weeks have been pretty low key. I had been following the Coronavirus news and was beginning to sense that things were going to be drastically changing in the US. I started to feel a little insane, trying to balance being level-headed and smart about things while also preparing for what I thought could be worst case scenarios. I’m a homebody by nature and have not mild social anxiety so I usually have to force myself out of the house, but it feels so weird to really not have the choice. Camera roll was pretty light as I started to only go out for things I had to do and I’m sure the next two weeks will be even more so.

Despite the scary news and the landscape we’re entering, I’ve been trying to find some positivity where I can! I’m quick to go to jump to a “the world is ending” mindset on a good day, so I’ve been struggling with what to do. Especially from a “public” perspective. I hope you know I’m trying to do my best as I navigate what this means for my blog and business. Right now I think it’s to be as positive and light as I can on here– I know I’ve been seeking out lighthearted blogs, articles, Youtube videos, movies on Netflix, and books to read that bring a little respite from the reality that is unfolding in real time.

The dogs are trained to go to the door if they have to go out. But Ham has taken to sitting in this little sliver of sun that comes through our back door. It’s the cutest thing. He doesn’t want or need to go out, just wants to sit in the sun. The whole household has been loving the extra sunlight.

I have been craving peanut butter. Throwing it back with old school PB&Js on toasted English muffins.

And! I officially got my permanent retainer removed and Invisalign in! The permanent retainer popped out shockingly quick and the retainers hurt way worse than I remember. I was in intense pain for three days and I’m only now feeling fine again… just in time for the next tray on Monday! I had so many people reach out to me on Instagram that they’re either going through their own Invisalign or they’re starting soon and it’s nice to know I’m not alone in this…. I’ve heard it gets better after the third tray so I’m crossing my fingers. It does help to know this is a process and I’m taking things one day at a time to get to the end goal.

One tough thing about social distancing and canceling everything is also trying to support local businesses. Madison has this brand new market and it’s such a great place for groceries, prepared food, and sandwiches/salads/pizza. We went one night this week when it was pretty empty to get a pizza to-go. You can above that it was super empty but we’re trying to balance supporting small businesses and being thoughtful about our community’s health.

Here’s a nice dose of reality!!! My poor little office space took the brunt of my anxiety. It’s funny because I’m generally hyper-organized, but when I’m stressed even the smallest thing like hanging a dress can seem “too much.” (Rationally, I know it’d take 3 seconds to do and I’d feel infinitely better but my anxiety manifests in irrational ways!)

I kept closing the door to the office to avoid it and just working downstairs as it was getting worse and worse by the day. Finally gathered myself just to do it and it was a huge relief.

This face.

I don’t know if I’ve ever been so grateful for open space. Mike worked from home all week last week (and is for the foreseeable future) and we’ve been taking afternoon visits to the dog park. We do this as often as we can usually, but now we’re basically putting it on our calendar. Fresh air feels SO NICE and it’s been a great way to force a smile on our faces, take a break from watching the news, and spend quality time together.

Look at those dog’s faces! We started bringing a tennis racket to hit the ball out even farther. Teddy loves the challenge, Hamilton gets a little lazy ha!

Proof that I got my office back in order!!!