Ugh! I love this guest post from Maxie so much. I find myself wondering about decisions I’ve made and whether or not they were the right ones. I actually worry before, during, and after I’ve made the decision about whether it’s the right one to be making. That’s no way to go through life!
How to Know for Sure if You Made the Right Decision
Guest post by Maxie McCoy
Where’s a crystal ball when you need it, right? Wouldn’t it be SO nice if we had immediate confirmation that whatever it was we decided had the outcome we hoped for? Or even better, wouldn’t it be lovely if we knew which direction to take at the fork in the road? – That veering left versus veering right would give us the outcome we desired.
Theoretically, yes. We’re hoping for this every time we ask ourselves, “But how will I know for sure??” I hate to be the bearer of bad news…but you won’t ever know for sure how something will turn out. Life has a pretty high rate of chance and risk and unknown from the time we plop our feet on the ground in the morning.
Collectively, this isn’t something most of us deal with very well…the whole, making-decisions-when-we’re-not-entirely-sure thing. Did you know that when given the option, more people would pick a negative outcome rather than an unknown outcome? We would rather pick a bad outcome than the chance of something bad happening. Unknown is clearly not our forte.
However, there are so many situations that we WANT to know for sure– that we for sure picked the right college, that we for sure handled that situation well, that we for sure made the right choice to break up, that we for sure picked the right career, that we for sure made the correct trade-off, that we for sure said all the right things, that we for sure should have spent that money, that we for sure gave it our all. Some things are in our control, and most things are not. So when it’s the latter, the only way to know for sure is by acknowledging that we don’t know for sure.
While we can’t be totally sure, we can do a few things to help ease our minds in times of worry, and in times of freaking out about a decision…
First, know that there is no wrong decision. I know it sounds cliché but the more days I live on this planet the more I know it to be true. Every decision, even if it’s the worst one you’ll ever make, is contributing to your becoming. It’s making you the person that you are. And it will teach you precisely the right lesson you need to get to where you’re meant to go.
Second, pay attention to your physical signs. I’ve made decisions and then changed them or back-tracked because of what my body was telling me: mainly that it wasn’t the right path to have gone down. And so I changed it because that gut feeling and that all-over, ‘body speaking to me’ feeling was just off. If you tune in, deeply, by getting to a quiet place and breathing and trying to slow your thoughts, you can see past the anxiety and into intuition.
Third, you’re resolved. You’re not second-guessing and you’re not obsessing over other’s opinions. Now listen, sure may not feel good. Sure may be hard and it might be emotional, but sure is firm. You can cry your heart out and still be sure. You can be scared as you’ve ever been and still be sure. Look for the feeling of sure and you’ll likely find the “right” decision right next to it.
Lastly, remember you always have a choice. Just because you know now, doesn’t mean you always will. And just because you don’t know now, doesn’t mean you always won’t. You’re someone that always has a choice about how you react, what you decide, and even what you un-decide. You’re allowed to change your mind. And no matter your decision, you’ll absolutely be able to handle however it plays out. You will, because you always have.
Read Maxie’s new book for more inspiration on finding your way!
Great post! 🙂 The last point is spot on! It’s so important to remember that the future is always in your hands, so even if you’ve made the “wrong decision”, going forward, you have the power to change things. I think remembering that point makes a huge difference! 🙂
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Although I’m not the most religious person, I find comfort in this serenity prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” I think it’s funny how when you’re little, you think you know everything. It’s wonderful how adults nurture children and instill that self-confidence in them. But as you grow up, you realise that there’s so much more to learn, and that there’s so much more you don’t know. Life feels more and more uncertain. Growing up for me, I’ve been trying to learn that uncertainty is okay, and have also been trying to learn how to embrace it. And even on the off chance that there is something I feel entirely sure about, I’ve been trying not to latch everything onto it and eliminate other opportunities. It’s tempting, especially when there’s so much that I’m unsure about. But hey, life’s a journey! -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s
I love this so much!!! I’m such an indecisive person I can’t even begin to explain, but yes yes yes to all of these!!
I hope you have a great start to your week!
Michael
https://www.mileinmyglasses.com
These past months I’ve really been struggling with the choices I made regarding my education & career, constantly questioning myself even though there’s no going back at this point. Thanks for the post Maxie and Carly, it helped me a lot!
Jihyun Unni | Korean Lifestyle Blog
Please, please do not tell people there are no wrong decisions. Did those first few oxy. Pills a person took help to mold them into a positive person? Did the decision to drink and drive that resulted in a fatality add anything good to a person’s life? There are wrong decisions and there ARE bad decisions, and the choices we make today can ruin our future and the lives of those around us. We need to teach the youths of today to be accountable for their decisions and to be able to own up to them and not to just brush them off as life experiences. I doubt that you will publicly print this, and that is a real disservice to your faithful readers.
That’s a good point, I think that falls under the black and white “right” vs “wrong” which is not what Maxie was implying.
I don’t disagree with you, but I doubt anyone will read this and think narcotics or drunk driving is a good idea.
Thank you for this post. I’m currently going through a choice to leave a job that was threatening my health but was a position within a family business. There is not a moment that goes by that I’m not terrified of the future and what ramifications this means for me and my family but I know in my heart that I couldn’t continue on with the current position without it ruining my health.
This is a great post! I feel like the physical signs are the most important steps to pay attention to whatever we do.
xoxo,
Jessica
http://whattostyle.blogspot.com/
I love this! I am so indecisive and am constantly worrying if I made the right choice. I really value the first point – there are no wrong decisions – and find such comfort in believing that everything that happens to you shapes who you are and allows for growth!
https://alexagmarsh.blogspot.com
This is the perfect post that I needed to read today as I’m currently struggling with leaving a “good job” that’s making me miserable and affecting my physical and mental health, to move back to my homestate. I’m indecisive too and usually end up doing nothing rather than taking charge of my life so these tips are helpful. Thank you!
I love this post! Making decisions is hard for me sometimes and it’s nice to know it’s not easy for others too!
Xo, Kelsey
http://www.bleuandwhit.blogspot.com
I really needed this article today. Thank you!
That last point isn’t always true. Some decisions can’t be unmade, namely the choice to have kids. Once you have them, you can’t change that. That’s what I’m struggling with , whether I want them or not.
This is so relevant for me right now. Thanks Maxie & Carly!