You know how sometimes when you’re talking with a friend, you get the feeling that they’re a little distracted and not truly listening? It doesn’t feel good. But you can also feel yourself feeling distracted or not fully engaged when trying to listen to a friend. I know I’ve been on both ends of that and I’m not proud of it. Maxie is here today to talk about the importance of really tuning into friends– an important reminder!
One Thing We All Need to Get Better At
Guest Post by Maxie McCoy
Finding magic in life isn’t that hard if you look for it. We rush around so quickly all of the time that we miss the beauty. And I bet no one would fight me if I said that we miss out on so many little joys because our head is so far into our phones.
It’s one thing to miss what’s going on around us, and it’s another thing to take the people around us for granted – strangers and besties alike. Because just like the magic happening in the small moments, the same is true for the magic of our relationships. So often we miss the opportunity to see it because we don’t ask (and maybe don’t care). However, we should care about the people around us. And show it.
Last week as I sat down for lunch, the waiter asked how I was, to which I responded and asked him the same. He told me how rare it was for anyone to ask him (how he was) back. I asked why he thought that was to which he replied, “I think people are scared of the answers.” Casual lunchtime mic drop from John at La Scala.
But he might be right. Luckily the past few weeks have been filled with countless conversations with people I’ve just met and amazing catch ups with my besties (Like Carly at Create+Cultivate… oh my gosh y’all it was the best). In all of those chats, though, I realized how easy it is to slip into talking about ourselves the entire time – I was guilty of doing this a large handful of times. It’s like we want to fill the space and make it all about us because we can control the conversation that way… so that’s what we do. We talk and talk and talk.
Where’s the genuine interest in the other person??
I wondered that, and have been wondering that, for the past few days. At first I thought that maybe we’re terrible listeners… or that maybe we don’t know what to ask… or that we simply don’t ask enough meaningful questions of people. But the more I’ve been paying attention, the more I realize those are all just symptoms of our lack of interest in the people standing right in front of us.
Everyone has a story to tell. A lesson to share. And something new to express to you. But we’ll never get there unless we take a genuine interest in how other people are, especially when it comes to the relationships that are so freaking near and dear to us. Taking an interest in the other person’s life is going to enrich our relationships tenfold.
The next time you’re in a conversation with someone, anyone really, see what happens when you actually slow down and show up to that conversation with a genuine interest in what’s going on for them. When you do, you’ll ask more questions than you answer. You’ll deepen your connection with that person. And you might be given the gift of insight about the person that you’d never had had otherwise. It’s something we all need to get better at, because it’ll infuse the most important aspect of our life, our relationships, with more love.
And couldn’t we all use a little bit more of that these days?