Casual

Updated Q&A

I’ve been making so many errors this week. It feels like I have a little personal mercury-in-retrograde cloud hanging over my head. I’m not immune to mistakes (obviously), but I’ve been the opposite of killing it. It’s a combination of a few things… I took a week off for a family vacation and ended up getting way farther behind than I intended to as a result. For the past month or so, I also had been pushing a LOT of things (social and work) until “after Labor Day”– so last week it was like everything that I had pushed off into the future was just… waiting for me. And then Hamilton got super sick. I will spare you the details but for 72 straight hours I pretty much couldn’t leave his side so he could go outside every 20 minutes (all. night. long.). Anyway, it’s a recipe for disaster.

I’m pretty disappointed in myself (and relieved that Ham is finally better!) and I’m hoping to get everything back on track.

And what to do when you’re feeling this way? A Q&A on the blog 😂 (With an unrelated outfit but one that I am pretty obsessed with.) I haven’t done one on here in a while and so I asked on Instagram stories for you guys to submit some questions! I’m going to try to answer as many as I can here. While I like doing it on Instagram Story, this way they’ll live past the 24 hours.

Carly the Prepster Carly Heitlinger Bee Belt Simple Outfit

Sweater // Jeans // Similar Shoes // Tote // Belt // Similar Watch 

Q&A

What’s the most surprising thing about buying a home?

It was 100x harder than I was expecting it to be emotionally. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy based on what everyone warns you about but I hadn’t expected such an emotional rollercoaster. Hourly, I’d go from optimistic to anxious to ecstatic to deflated and then I’d ride the rollercoaster again the next day!

What’s going on with your Monday guest posts now that Lou and Maxie’s posts are over?

I’m trying to work in even more lifestyle content. I decided to rip it off like a bandaid and end the regular guest posts.

You said “anything” so any plans for a baby in the near future?

Ha, I wouldn’t say “near,” but it’s no secret that I have always wanted to be a mom. I’m excited about a future family– whatever that looks like and whenever it happens! Right now I’m pretty content with being an “aunt” to a bunch of different babies and kiddos.

How many kids do you want?

I want at least two and then would play it by ear until my family felt complete. I love having a sister so I’d want my children to have siblings… and being around Mike’s family (he’s one of five) really made me fall in love the idea of having a big family.

How do you deal with the constant stress about “next steps” from friends & family?

So the PC answer would be to say, “Oh I just ignore it and don’t feel any pressure!” But that’s not the truthful one. Even though I’m a blogger and have the added pressure from strangers on the internet, I think this is something everyone faces at a certain time– not just about relationships, but any kind of societal pressure (college, marriage, babies, career). Personally, I think the questions really started heating up (both explicit and implied) among friends and family when we bought a house together. I find myself pretty honest about everything and how I’m feeling with my friends and family though. If I’m uncomfortable with the question, I pretty much respond with humor.

How is needlepointing going?

Great! I’m going to do a bigger post about this but I am really into it. I find it so therapeutic. It’s actually a little addicting too and I have to limit how much I do a day because I’m pretty sure I could sit on the front porch with an audiobook playing and needlepoint from sunrise to sunset, ha.

Do you ever feel like you’ve outgrown your blog?

Yes! I have gone through similar growing pains in the past though with my blog. Obviously doing something– anything– for 11 years would have a similar issue. I’m feeling it particularly now as I enter into my thirties. I’m trying to figure out how to handle it and what that means for the future of my blog. I don’t have any solid answers right now and I’m just feeling things out and trying to do what feels best for me.

#1 best purchase since moving into your house?

Not sexy at all, but I upgraded to a Dyson vacuum after using my friend’s parents’ one on the cape. Our house may not be that big, but man do I spend a lot of time cleaning. I have my old vacuum still but it’s a little bulky for lugging up the stairs. I love all the attachments that come with the Dyson– makes cleaning everything from sand out of my car after trips to the beach and all the hair that I shed (it’s everywhere) in the nooks and crannies of the house.

Do you find it hard to make genuine friends within blogging?

Yes and no. No in that there are so many events going on that’s it’s nearly impossible to not meet a few people you connect with. Yes, in that there are so many people and it can be hard to find people who you connect with on a deep level. It takes time and a little bit of faith to make that “leap” from ~blog friends~ to ~friends~. As with any friendships, I’ve had some misses. I’ve grown apart from some and closer with others.

How did you know it was time to start dating again?

I jumped into dating a little too soon probably. I was so anxious about dating again and I was also worried about letting trust issues grow into a bigger deal. So I came up with this ~grand plan~ to go on dates every night for a week just to get back in the saddle. I’d try it all and then check “dating” off my list until my heart had completely healed at which point, I’d date “for real.” (It made COMPLETE sense to me at the time and now looking back I think it was a liiiiiittle too controlling and Type A.) I went on dates from Hinge, Bumble, and The League. One night, I got together with the guy I saw all the way through college because I was in DC for work. (Who serendipitously had broken up with his girlfriend three days before.) And I went on a blind date on Friday… and that date happened to be Mike. So ultimately it did end up working out even if it was a little crazy.

Will you ever come back to Youtube?

Not in the near future but who knows about later on. It’s really a vertical that I struggle with because filming feels so invasive. I was making videos because I had more or less been told I needed to be doing more videos and that made me resent it. Maybe one day if I find something I’m passionate about and that translates to video I’d be down.

One thing in your wardrobe that you couldn’t live without?

These ballet flats!

What’s your favorite food you’ve cooked?

I make this roast chicken a few times a month. It’s DELICIOUS and so easy. Mike is such a good cook that I get intimidated cooking for him. This chicken is so easy to perfect though and you can tweak it depending on your mood and what you have available.

Do you ever think about moving back to Florida? Would you if you had kids?

No. To be honest, I never loved living there. It’s kind of a joke in my family that I never got over being forced to move there when I was eight…. but I never got over being forced to move there when I was eight. I knew I wanted to go to college out of state and I had a feeling I’d never look back. Sometimes I would look at real estate listings, especially when I felt unsure of what I wanted for my future. I’m really happy with where I am now though!

Skincare absolute must-haves?

Soy Fresh Cleanser

Nuria Defend Gentle Exfoliator

Origins Mega Mushroom Face Mask

Kiehl’s Vitamin C Serum

Dr. Brandt Microdermabrasion Exfoliator

Best and worst parts about being a home owner?

The best is absolutely feeling ownership over the house. After renting for so many years (and living in a dorm and living at my parents’ house as a kid), I LOVE being able to make decisions based on our priorities. No one else’s! The worst part is that there is a never-ending to-do list. Actually, as I cross one thing off I feel like I realize four more things that need to get done!

Are you still trying to learn French?

Oui! I practice with DuoLingo every single morning. I’m on my 267th straight day! I have a very long way to go, but I’m pretty happy with how much I’ve learned just doing it for fifteen minutes or so a day.

What are your favorite neighborhoods in New York City?

I will always love the Upper East Side. It’s where I feel the most “at home” since I lived there for three years. Having lived in Hoboken though, I got to spend a ton of time in the West Village and I’m really quite fond of it as cliché as it sounds. I’d love to have a pied-à-terre there someday.

What’s the best thing, either object of habit-wise, that someone in their twenties should invest in?

Invest in your friendships. Don’t flake. Pick up the phone. Make the trek to see someone. Have meaningful conversations. Everything in life is transient. You’ll have good years and bad years at work. You’ll have years where you have tighter budgets than others. You’ll have easy, breezy years and years where everything seems to fall apart. But with great friends you won’t be alone as you weather it. (Social isolation is an epidemic right now.)

Current show that you’re watching?

I’m trying to finish the Downton Abbey series before the movie comes out! I’ve been watching it pretty much all summer long and love it. Mike and I just finished watching Veep together and we’re trying to figure out what to watch next!

Are you still doing BBG/What’s your current workout regimen?

I am still doing BBG! I love this program so much. After finishing BBG 3.0 in July, I took a little break. I just started back up with 1.0 again though. I got a little burnt out on 3.0 and wanted to go back to the basics. I’m also challenging myself to do a workout class every week at the Y (where I belong) to figure out what kind of classes I enjoy!

Enneagram number?

3 wing 4

How do you like the suburbs so far? How has the adjustment been?

I LOVE IT. I feel so much more at home and myself in the suburbs. I did the city thing and it was great for the first couple of years of my twenties. It’s just not “me.” We are so lucky with our neighborhood and, specifically, our street. If you’ve ever seen the Baby-sitter’s Club movie from 1997, I feel like we live in Stonybrook! The kids on our street actually play outside every afternoon and you can’t walk to the ice cream shop without running into at least three families from the street. It’s idyllic.

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20 Comments

Annie

VEEP is such a hard comedy to follow up! That said, I’ve LOVED Barry, a little dark but Bill Hader rocks. And more of a deep cut, and kind of more of a cult following, but if you like historical drama-type stuff, HBO’s Rome was only two seasons (so not a big commitment) but really fun to get in to (and nerd out on the history after each episode lol). And if you haven’t yet, Big Little Lies was the best kind of soapy!

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Brigid Devney-Rye

What a fun post! I so appreciate your honesty. You are my favorite blogger ever and I am over the moon that you are now a needlepointer. Welcome to my world!

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Katherine

Unrelated to the Q&A, but I feel like you have mastered your hair, its looking SO good. I have followed you for what seems like forever, and its been fun watch how your style has evolved and matured.

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Jessica

Agree! Your hair has been SHAMPOO-MODEL fabulous of late. Would love an updated hair tutorial (even if it’s as an update to your hair tutorial to say, still do the same, but with practice it got easier!).

PS–thank you for embracing your grays!

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Claire

Love the Q&A! It’s so true that as a homeowner your to-do list is never-ending, especially as you dream up new ideas for your home! Also, I loved that you said you “never got over” having to move to Florida! Right before 8th grade, my parents moved us out of state – 7 hours away from all of my friends. That was 16 years ago, and I feel like I still haven’t quite gotten over it!

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Shannon Mahaney

I loved your answer for the Florida question! I feel the same way. Lived in Florida from birth until I turned 28. Moved to South Carolina and never looked back! I miss having family close but I love living in a new place. 🙂

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Kate W

That Dyson vacuum IS sexy, haha! Best purchase from my wedding registry. I don’t know how I’d ever go back to using a “regular” vacuum 🤣

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Joanna B

I love reading other people’s Enneagram number! I have to say, I was surprised to read that you’re a 3w4 (I’m a 1w2, and I just assumed you were a 1 too—Type A’s unite!), but you never can tell from looking at someone from the outside. Thanks for sharing!

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Jess

I love those jeans – I’m a die hard rag & Bone girl, and wish they were just a teensy bit longer (I know they’re ankle but i’m tall).

More importantly, great Q&A Carly! Love to hear those answers!

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Caroline

This is only slightly related to your post…but did you know they’re doing a new Baby-Sitters Club series on Netflix? I loved the books as kid and I’m excited to see where they take it!

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Lydia

Bonjour, Carly!

I love reading these kinds of Q&A! I have been learning French on Duolingo as well and I have a 254 day streak (since the first of the year)!

Have you ever listened to The Earful Tower podcast? The host is Australian but they are sponsored by a French curriculum and they regularly have a segment about something language-related. I’ve learned lots of useful and interesting phrases and idioms from that, but the podcast itself is a lot of fun and a lovely listen.

Á la prochaine!

Lydia

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Marcella

Love this post. I def feel the “next steps” pressure from a lot of people about getting married – my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years (I turn 26 this year) and it seems like EVERYONE just wants me to settle down 😂 haha and we don’t even live together yet!

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Mary

Carly,

I am becoming increasingly in love with your blog. I too am 30 and have been following your posts for years. Thanks for sharing so much about your life and thoughts, it’s a real treat to read about them. I wish you much love and happiness for your thirties, I can tell they are going to be amazing for you.

Joy from Boston,
Mary

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Wendy

Dear Carly, I’ve been following you for quite some time. I am much older than you (almost 50 ;), 4 kids and a husband. I just wanted you to know that you are an amazing young woman – smart, classy, kind and real. Even though you have achieved the status of a celebrity, you remain a very relatable person and I appreciate that you are so honest about ups and downs and challenges in your life. I enjoy following you, and hope that you continue your blog for a very long time! Thank you!

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Sydney

I love these types of posts! I’m looking forward to more of your lifestyle content too. My husband and I bought a house last year right when we were getting married and I’m loving that you have a house now to share inspiration and just know that we’re not alone in never feeling like the to-do list has been completely checked off (none of my friends have gotten to this stage of life yet). Thanks for sharing what you’re comfortable with on this corner of the internet and I’m looking forward to what’s next!

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