I know everyone has experienced this before. Those moments in time when you feel helpless, directionless, or like everything is falling apart or failing. Maxie has great tips, and I can vouch for them personally as she’s been on the other end of a phone call where I’ve vented to her about feeling like nothing in my life was going well!
What to Do When Things Aren’t Going Your Way
Guest post by Maxie McCoy
As they say, when it rains it pours. Anyone who’s been thrown a major curveball knows, you’ll probably get thrown a few more, one right after another. And trust me, I know how hard it can be when it seems like you’re doing everything you can but things just don’t seem to be falling in to place for you. Whether that goes on for weeks or for months, while you’re in the midst of the hard stuff it can feel like the pouring rain won’t clear anytime soon.
But it will.
Our lives have many layers to them. We have our personal lives made up of friends, family, partnership, and hobbies. Then our professional lives, whether that’s school, or careers or side hustles or community involvement. And then we have life with our self, our thoughts and feelings and creativity and adventures. When any of these layers get in a funk, it can feel like it’s all in a funk and soon we’re tumbling into the feeling that literally nothing is going right. Like we can’t catch a break from all that’s going wrong.
But you will.
When all of this is happening, it’s important not to fall into an all or nothing mindset. Say you’re having a fight in one of your relationships and you got really bad feedback at work. It may feel like it’s all coming down on you, but it’s not. There’s a lot that’s actually going right – but you need to point it out and feel grateful for it. Go bucket by bucket and pinpoint all the things that are going right and share your gratitude for them so you can get out of that it’s all over mentality.
Then you need to remind yourself that everything going wrong is preparing you for it all to go right. It’s only up from here! Which, when you’re in the thick of it may not be the easiest thing to remember. But things absolutely get really hard right before they get better. And they will get better. When things go wrong, you learn your strength and you learn really important lessons that will make you the person that you’re bound to become. No matter how many times you have to remind yourself that, or repeat this too shall pass, do it. Because you’re really going to like who you are on the other side of all this tough stuff.
While things might feel like they’re not happening exactly how you want, there are absolutely people who love and support you… so open up to them. You don’t need to go through hard things alone. Call a friend and ask for a hug. Drive over to a family member’s house. Ask your group chat for a pick-me-up. Positive words from people you care about can go a long way. And connection always cures the crap. But you have to open up and be vulnerable in order for anyone around to help you. They might also have great ideas or solutions to what you’re facing, which you’ll never receive if you don’t open up about what you’re going through.
Expansion isn’t always easy, but that’s what’s going on when you’re facing tough curveballs. You’re expanding into a more resilient, wise and strong person. Keep your chin up, believe in your own power to get through all of this, and before you know it you’ll be on the other side.