I’ve recently been feeling like my 25th birthday is right around the corner. It’s kind of like looming over my head. (Truthfully, it’s six months away, but still.)
To be honest, I used to think 24 was so old. Not in a bad way; in a “grown up, figured it all out” kind of way. The way I pictured myself at 24 is not the way that I am now, but again, not in a bad way. It’s just different. I’m definitely still “figuring it out” and there are better days than others.
Being 20-something can seem oh so… volatile. One step forward in one area. One step backward in the another. One day feeling confident, the next feeling so insecure. One project going off without a hitch, another not getting off the ground. My heart might be bursting with happiness one minute and then I’m overanalyzing a text the next. The constant up and down is so exhausting and I know it’s not just me as I watch my friends go through the same thing.
I just got sick of feeling the uncertainty. Really, I was over it and totally would have clicked the fast forward button to my thirties, or hell, my forties. But… isn’t the only thing certain about life the uncertainty of it all? While I would imagine a lot of the crazy ups and downs will taper off as life settles with age (like raging teenage hormones), the volatility will likely remain to a certain extent.
And so, I’ve actually just decided to embrace the uncertainty and the change of attitude alone has made a dramatic difference.
Here’s what I think it boils down to:
1) Learning from your past experiences
2) Working for the future
3) Handling what comes your way as it comes
Pretty simple, right? Not necessarily easy, but simple. Learning from the past without dwelling on it will keep you moving in a positive (and smart) direction. Working for the future will just keep you moving in general… nothing worse than staying stagnant! (I also think this one means being smart about things that you do: living within your means, working for promotions, staying healthy, etc.)
Handing what comes your way is probably the hardest part. You don’t want to stress about things that haven’t happened, but you also don’t want to get bulldozed over when something does. I take a deep breath, get my bearings, and then start to problem-solve. I might ask for advice or try a few things before it works out. Getting through what you need to get through doesn’t need to be dramatically the end of the world. It shouldn’t get in the way of your progress or growth. In fact, it IS your progress and it IS (most definitely) your growth.
The question isn’t really if something not-great might happen, it’s how you handle it that makes the difference. You can turn it into a positive experience based on how you handle it, despite the circumstances themselves.
I have been dealing with this exact same thing so much lately. Only for me it wasn't just the volatility, it was that since the start of this year things had so much momentum and everything was just going, well, pretty much perfect and then suddenly it wasn't. Nothing particularly bad had happened and anyone looking in from the outside would have thought that I should be blissfully happy. I'm living abroad, chasing my dreams, and often my biggest problem seems to be that I spent the weekend out in heels and destroyed my feet. The thing is I've learned a lot about tuning into how I feel (I'm too good at just blocking emotions), pushing forward, keeping the positive vibes flowing and above all learning from everything. I have written a lot on this lately so if it makes you feel like someone else is in the same boat feel free to check out some of my latest posts. Keep smiling, keep moving, make it happen! 🙂
Oh boy, if you think thirty is when you have it figured out, just wait. It gets easier and harder, just in different ways. Like a thing, it comes with it's own challenges.
We get it Carly, you love stripes.
nice, thank for post you
🙂
Mall di Jakarta
You've got your mind in the right place, lady. I'm halfway to 26 and swear that 25 isn't as scary as you think!
Enter to win one of TWO Fitbit Flexes! Winners selected tonight.
This is perfect! I needed it after the week of ups and downs I've had!
Kristin
thedixiedaisy.blogspot.com
I loved this post, I really needed something like this right now! Thanks<3
Annie
A College Confession
Just remember that if it's not happy, then it's not the end. 🙂
~Sophia
http://plaidismyfavouritecolour.blogspot.com/
I can definitely relate. My 22nd birthday is in less than a month and I feel like i'm getting to that point in life where i'm supposed to start having it all together. But truth is I'm really not quite at that place yet nor do I want to be. I like where I am and though I'm not doing the stereotypical things that most college graduates do. I like what i'm doing and where i'm headed.
-Dani F
thepostcardjournals.blogspot.com
And rejoyce the present! I'm always thinking about the future and all the projects I want to start and the things I want to have done by certain age but sometimes I forget to live the present.
Andy from Savor each bite
Preach girl! 20-something is so bizarre! I thought by this time I'd be making so much money, and that was about all I knew. Here I am, not making that much, blogging (which I never thought about for a second), and making just enough to get by, and yet, I'm happy as a clam! Who knew? Just embrace it, I guess!
I recently read The Defining Decade by Meg Jay. If you haven't, I highly recommend it. It's all about figuring out your twenties in the midst of this volatility and HOW to get it all together. A quick read, entertaining, and super helpful!
I totally get this! I'm about to turn 18 in a few weeks and even though it's a few years away from 25, it's never too early to learn from past experiences and turning situations into a positive experience.
Taylor Anthony :: Prep, Please!
Thanks for this post today. I've been feeling the same uncertainty, and when things are constantly changing it's hard to deal with!
It's funny how as 20 somethings we all think everything should be figured out when we turn 25, but then we turn 25. There is definitely something to be said about being comfortable with the uncomfortable and just being present in the life we're living now. Glad I'm not alone.
This is why I love your blog! Posts like these!! I totally, totally agree. Growing up, 24 or 25 was my 'I would be married age '. I envisaged myself totally 'together'. And by together I mean 'all areas of life sorted out'. How wrong I was :/ However, that being said, I have come to somewhat embrace the completely non sensical randomness which is life. It is full of uncertainity and I personally believe that part of maturing, is coming to understand, that essentially life is full of things that don't make sense, nothing is certain and yes, the real journey is coming to terms with and adjusting to the fact that we may not have as much control as we think, life is many different shades of grey and things do no always work out as you expect. Strangely as upsetting and challenging as it has been, there is a freedom when you let go to the fact that essentially, you are just one part of the universe. A small, but important part. I love your preppy style, your fashion posts and your career posts but I also like these self reflective post too as I too am a twenty something, still trying to find my way. Thank you for being so honest about the real life of a twenty something. You are younger then I am, but I do look up to you 🙂
ah! dont worry about it! your age is what you make it! i am turning 29 this year and it's been a great year so far! celebrate everyday!! xo jillian – cornflake dreams