The vast majority of people reading this probably didn’t notice, but I had to turn off the comment section of my blog. While it’s extremely disappointing, it was something that I felt like I had to do for a little bit for my mental health.
I have been blogging for coming up on ten years. I am not new to the world of hate or mean comments. I blogged for a year without much of an audience, but since around the second year, I have been receiving mean comments. One time an “anonymous” student at Georgetown wrote the rudest blog post about me on her gossip site that a good portion of the school read and there is a website that has an unhealthy obsession with hating everything about me. Sucks, but oh well.
[I do want to clarify here that there is a difference between a critical comment and a mean comment. A critical comment can be mean and not all mean comments are critical in nature. While it may sting initially, I don’t mind critical emails or comments. They’re helpful.]
My point here is that I’ve kind of seen it all. In a lot of ways, I’d say it was a good thing to have to be forced to deal with it because over time you get so used to it and grow a pretty thick skin. It allowed me to grow confident and get over a fear of rejection or need for approval, which is something I think a lot of women struggle with. I felt like I had sped through the process and condensed a bunch of years worth of experience in a way shorter amount of time.
Apologies for the phrasing here, but I read this quote once that made me laugh so hard and I’ve thought about it very frequently. Basically, it says that you’re only born with a certain amount of “effs to give.” You don’t realize you have a finite amount so when you’re younger you “spend” them like crazy, then as the pile starts dwindling, you have to be more selective about how you spend them. (Here’s an image with the full shebang.) My bank reserve of “effs” is pretty low by now.
My policy on how to address comments has changed over time, depending on what they are and how I’m feeling about them. For a very long time, I left everything up. Then, I switched gears and deleted anything that I considered to fall under the category of “mean.” Very rarely, on particularly bad days personally, I’d respond. But otherwise, I moderated everything (that is manually approved comments before they published) and I decided what I thought was appropriate or not for publishing.
Unfortunately, it’s not like the mean comments stopped, I just didn’t publish them. It’s usually pretty rare, except for ONE PERSON. The same person. Who has left incessant mean comments for years. YEARS. It actually kind of blows my mind at how dedicated this person is to leaving hateful comments… the persistence could lead to incredible success in whatever she puts her mind to, that is, only if she channeled it in a positive way. I’ve always found the comments to be annoying, but manageable. She’s the only reason why I moderate comments at all, but it hadn’t really affected my day-to-day life. It was a simple step to go in and approve or delete comments.
She uses a fake email address and a different name, but always sends it from the same computer so it’s the same IP address. But even without the same IP address, the tone is always the same and I could pick one of her comments out of a giant batch with complete accuracy. Once I realized it was only one person, it actually alleviated a lot of stress. “You can’t please ’em all,” “you can’t be everything for everyone,” and all that. Because it’s one person (and a person hiding behind a computer) and not, like, an actual angry mob with pitchforks, it’s a lot easier to handle.
And then last week happened. I think there’s a fine line between bullying and harassment. I think bullying is a real issue, especially on the internet, but what are you realistically going to be able to do about it. I ignore it and just move along with my life nowadays. (Again, see above about my “effs to give” bank.) Unfortunately, it went from just a daily nuisance to actual harassment. It didn’t happen overnight; if you read her comments, they’ve gotten incrementally more aggressive over time, but it did tip the scales in terms of me being able to deal with it and simply not being able to.
I snapped and just… could not take it anymore. I had begun to feel the pressure of it building probably since spring and even went so far as to stop making Youtube videos because I was having such bad anxiety every time I got a comment. The anticipation of dreading what the contents of the comment would be as I opened the notification started to drive me insane. I didn’t even feel relief if it was a positive comment, I just felt drained and, ultimately, defeated.
When the comments started to get really bad last week, I had to take a serious step back from the blog. I LOVE blogging, but I started to question whether this kind of harassment was even worth it. I toyed with the idea of just stopping altogether. Like shutter the blog and never open another social media app for the remainder of my life. While it kind of felt liberating to daydream about it, getting closer to that specific conclusion didn’t make me any happier. It was just… giving up. I didn’t actually want to give up. Again, I just felt defeated.
I talked to many, many people about this. I’ve consulted with my lawyers and managers. I’ve confided with loved ones in how I was feeling. I commiserated with friends who have experienced similar things. I examined the problem from every angle.
Because the harassment was truly affecting me and because I didn’t want to give up entirely, the best (temporary) solution was to just shut the comments down completely. Compared to the number of people who read each post, the number of people who comment doesn’t come close to making up 1%.
(Side note: If you’re reading this and you read other blogs, consider leaving comments from time to time on posts where you can meaningfully contribute something. It lets the blog author know that the post resonated in more than just a blip on Google Analytics; it helps to add context to why someone loved a post or what people want to see more of.)
I ended up receiving quite a number of concerned emails from you guys and I really appreciated to hear from you, especially when I was in the middle of considering giving up!!
It saddens me a little bit that this is even an issue anyone has to deal with. I know this is not an isolated situation or something, for that matter, that has a simple solution for complete eradication. While I’m opening up the comments again, someone else will be moderating them for a while because I am just not ready to face the harassment again. I’ll pop over to the published comments on the blog to read the approved comments.
Bah, okay, this was a way longer post than I intended it to be. I just really have been struggling with it and finally hit my breaking point. Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive over the years 💙
Hi Carly!
Even though it makes me sick to think that someone could have so much hate in their heart to attack you constantly, I actually appreciate this blog post and how vulnerable you are with your readers. I love everything you post and I think you have a strong voice that resonates with a lot of people. I’m happy you took some time to do what’s best for yourself.
Carly, this is so scary to hear. I can’t believe somebody would go out of their way to be so vicious.
With that said, I love that you address bullying as an adult and I’d love to hear more about how you handle it. I’ve been having similar issues at work and it’s made things somewhat toxic.
Hope things continue to improve! 💜
I’d been wondering why you’d switched off the comments! I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Carly. I think it’s stupid when people make mean comments – it says a lot more about them than it does you. That person is scarily obsessive… I hope he or she backs off. Please know that you have many readers who love you too, he/she is just an anomaly! 🙂
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
My heart breaks to hear about what you’ve been going though, Carly. Your voice encourages so many, I hate that you have been sacraficing your own peace of mind for your readers. When you didn’t post for a few days last week, I worried something like this may have happened. Thank you for your words and your message, and for being so open with all of us for years now. You are so loved!
I’m sorry you had to deal with so much crap. I don’t get why people do this – especially this consistently. One mean comment – maybe it wasn’t even meant that way or they were having a bad day. But this is obsessive. I can see how so much negativity can impact you. Take care xx
Dear Carly,
Thank you for your honest and heart breaking post. I am so sorry that such horrible bullying is happening to you. No one should be bullied.
I have been reading your blog for over six years, I started by senior year of high school and I am about to start my masters this year. We have never met and probably never will and so I didn’t feel like reaching out would be appropriate. Maybe that’s not the right word, but I can’t quite put my finger on the right one. But after reading this post I felt I needed to reach out and thank you. You have been there offering advice to me since day one of university. My freshman year I convinced my mom that I needed, desperately neede, to have a blazer because you recommended one for presentations in one of your posts. It became my personal armor for presentations and conferences. Your study and organization tips gave me a heads up as classes started and I struggled to find my place in uni. I studied in England for a year and while I was there visited Ireland, using your packing list! From talking about exercising to mental health, to books you would recommend you have been a long distance friend and guide for me, and I sure many, many other people. I bought my first Barbour jacket because of you and it’s by far the best thing I have ever bought. It’s been around the world with me and now it’s in Oslo, Norway where I am starting my masters degree.
Whatever you decide to do with your blog, thank you for the years of love and kindness you have poured into the Internet.
Wishing you all the happiness,
Anna
Reading this genuinely broke my heart a little bit, that you have been having to deal with this for so long is just mind boggling. I can only hope that maybe when this person reads this post they might be able to get a little perspective.
I’m definitely one of those readers who never leaves a comment, but after this I’m certainly going to try and remember that a well phrased and thought out comment could be really helpful.
Please never stop blogging and producing videos Carly, I’ve been following you for years and I would truly hate to see such negative people cause such sadness x
Hi Carly! Thank you for sharing this with us – I did notice there haven’t been any comments recently (because I love reading how other people relate to your posts) and I’m so saddened by this. I hope that you take the time you need to heal and I hope that whoever is harassing you finds peace within their own lives and stops projecting their insecurities onto you. You are one of my biggest inspirations and I’ve been following the blog for almost 7 years now. Keep being the amazing person that you are!!
I am a relatively new reader (a couple of months at most) but I really resonate with your posts. Keep posting! Forget about the person who gets their jollies out of making someone else feel bad.
I’m so sorry you have been dealing with this for years. I’m just here to remind you that I love your blog and content and style and my fashion inspiration comes from you! I always enjoy watching all your videos on YouTube and your instastories are a regular part of my daily internet check-in! You’ve created a brilliant blog and all great things come with hard work and sacrifice, achieving something great always comes with some sort of challenge and hardship. You know the awful person probably lacks love in their life and doesn’t have a meaningful family situation- not that it gives her any excuse or right to treat you awfully. You have an amazing relationship with Meesh and Maxie, and friendships which I see feeding you positively. I read that being thankful and writing a gratitude journal can do wonders- since you use meditation maybe let that be a theme for a bit? let your thankfulness for your blessings (Meesh, Stacy, teddie, Hamilton, your boyfriend, your ultra successful blog, your kindness, etc – I could go on for days with the qualities I admire about you!) overflow so there’s no room for her nasty-ness. I know that’s easier said than done but I know you can do it- you’re a strong girlboss! I hope you’re feeling better- thank you for always being real and vulnerable- it makes me admire you even more.
Carly, I’m so sorry to hear about what has been happening to you recently. I can completely empathise, although on a much smaller scale, and think you handled the situation very gracefully and effectively.
I hope you know how much of a joy it is to read your blog.
Look after yourself x
Just wanted to send some LOVE to you. It’s such a great part of the world we live in right now, that people share genuine insight into their lives and loves. It’s a privilege that we get this window into you and it’s wonderful that you share the way you do. I’m super sorry that the downside of that for you is dealing with the black part of the internet, and especially to know that you are being stalked and harassed. I hope you get an outpouring of love and appreciation that goes some way to balance the stress and negativity, if not completely erase it. And a big thank you for putting yourself out there.
I’m so sorry that you’re are having to experience this!
Thank you for being so brave in this post. As someone else said, this persons behaviour says a lot more about them than about you. Happy, well adjusted people do not make it the life’s mission to belittle or bully others. I hope this person gets the help they need in dealing with whatever issues they have that is making them have so much hate. I same across the site you mentioned as I was googling a blog and was just shocked the supposedly grown women, some with careers and families would go online to overanalyze and spew the hate they do. It is so easy and lazy to do these things from behind a screen.. I have so little respect for people who ‘hide’ on social media or in blog comments. Have you read Brené Brown’s ‘man in the arena’? If not, I highly recommend…. it was completely life changing for me… made me realize who I should listen to and give offs about and who I should juts ignore. Love you Carly!
Carly,
I am so sorry to read this post about the senseless, scary harrassment you have received. I am one of your “Mom” readers, a fellow Hoya who stumbled across your blog when you were in your first NYC apartment (however many years ago that was!). As a mom, I actually get worried when you unexpectedly take off a few days from the blog and it is just heartbreaking to discover the cause of last week’s break. You are right to take care of yourself and exercise your option to be safe and secure by closing down the comments. Just know that there are so many readers who are cheering you on, who are grateful for the content you create. And there is a Hoya out there who is proud of you like she would be of a daughter – I am honestly so impressed by your blog, your writing excellence, your unique “voice” and the business you have created (I was tickled when you spoke at GU). Although my own daughter would cringe at my use of this phrase, I am sending you hugs (Mom hugs?).
Hey Carly! I am shocked to hear that someone would go out of their way to treat you that way. I noticed last week when you took a brief break, and I wanted to tell you that you were missed! I’ve been a reader for a few years now, and your blog is has the most consistent in terms of consistency and positivity of any that I follow! We all appreciate you and your message so much!
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I would encouragement you to just show yourself some extra grace! I so appreciate how transparent you are. Being so honest and vulnerable takes courage, and our society so often tells women to just stop being so emotional and taking things personally. But try not to beat yourself up about letting it get to you. That’s victim blaming! This person should not be leaving mean comments and it’s really that simple. It’s 100% a reflection of them and not you. 🙂
I know this feeling all too well. For me it is the same group of people that are all friends. They are sad and toxic and what they leave for me is 100% the ugliest thing I have ever seen. When I read the thread of comments you posted I realized that the tone of what I get is similar to what you get and made me realize that bullies all use the same words, the same tone and the same push to get at you, and it hurts. I have also learned that any group of people that spend their time making it a full time job to critique me have way more issues than I could ever muster. Your blog is fabulous, you are darling and I love reading every single day. I noticed when you were silent and I worried about you, because that is what kind people do. Push through it, leave them in the dust and set up healthy boundaries for you. You have a whole team of people who love and care about your well being just as much as one person does not. You were meant to write and to soar … don’t let anyone take anything from you. xo
It so sad to see that people will go to those kind of lenghts to make someone feel bad about themselves. You are wonderful as you are dont ever let anyone bring you down. Keep doing you!
I have never in my life commented on a blog, but I felt compelled by your post. I read a lot of these blogs and recently stumbled onto yours. It’s one of the better ones I’ve seen. I am always in awe of bloggers and their ability to be so open and honest and vulnerable in such a very public way. I tried it and simply do not have skin thick enough to handle the anxiety, exposure, and criticism.
The person who has been torturing you is obviously terrifically tortured, too. A happy person doesn’t behave that way. A happy person doesn’t get pleasure in tormenting others. In all likelihood, they have a mental illness that is untreatable, as they never seek the help they so clearly need. It’s frightening because these people don’t have good judgment or impulse control and you must feel a bit endangered by her. In the end, you have to know that her behavior comes from a very deep feeling of envy and resentment and inadequacy that you are so many wonderful things she does not believe herself to be. Count yourself lucky to have the great blessings you do and try to move past her toxicity. My boyfriend was harrassed by someone similar to this, and my best advice to him when he kept trying to find reason in his tormentor’s behavior was that you simply cannot make sense out of crazy. You can only accept it for what it is – the irrational, insane behavior of a very sad individual who has probably had some serious emotional trauma in their past. If you can find a way to pity them, all the better.
Best of luck to you. You are a delight.
Carly, this is so heartbreaking to read. I’m so sorry you’ve had to sacrifice your own mental well being, and I admire you for thinking of your readers as much as you do! I’m glad you’re taking these steps to practice some self-care because you deserve it. Just know that you’ve got an army of readers who love you, this blog, and really admire you! I’ve been a reader for about a year, but before I found your blog and since, I’ve never read any other blogs that are so personal and as heartfelt as yours. I love the way you share yourself and your life so intimately with readers- I think I can speak for most of us when I say that I feel like I know you- which is what makes this all the more sad for me to read. As someone who has never left a comment- I just felt compelled to in order to say thank you. Thank you for all of the work and putting yourself into this blog. Reading about how you’ve dealt with anxiety and mental health care came just at the right time for me, as I have also been struggling with them my whole life, and it was such a comfort and source of strength for me to read that someone else has struggled and overcame anxiety. Thank you for sharing your life here with us, it means so much to me! Stay strong girl and take care of yourself! 💙
I’ve never commented before! I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I’m a 45 year old mom of 4- probably not your typical reader. I enjoy your blog and your fashion and your confidence.
Your response to the harasser is really inspiring. I think putting your mental health first and stepping away from the blog / youtube is exactly the right thing to do! We all hit a breaking point sometimes, and I’m so glad you don’t feel like you “owe” your readers content at the sacrifice of your sanity. And I’m also so glad you found a way to still do what you love without having to read hateful comments! I let a soccer coach’s harassment get to me, and stopped playing a sport I loved instead of finding a better coach, and I really regret it. Sending love and good vibes your way today ♥
Awe I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m a long time reader but I don’t think I’ve ever commented so I wanted to say you are lovely. And brave. It takes courage to put yourself out there on the internet the way you do! It’s such a shame that some people have no life and no compassion, and resent the success of others so much that they feel the need to take them down, rather than, as you so eloquently put it, channeling that energy into their own lives and successes.
Those people carry their anger around like hot coals but ultimately they will only keep hurting themselves. The things this bully is doing say more about her than you.
Keep doing what you’re doing and “don’t let the bastards grind you down”!
I definitely noticed you turned the comments off and was wondering if you were getting too many rude ones. I’m sorry you have to deal with that! I’m glad you didn’t stop blogging though 🙂 I enjoy seeing your new posts!
You are the best and your blog is one of the highlights of my mornings. I am so sorry you’re having to deal with this!
I read your blog religiously every morning when I get to work and you are the most real out of every blogger I follow. Just want to say I love your blog and you!!!
I can’t even begin to imagine who would dedicate to so much time to producing such a hateful aura in this world, and I’m so sorry that you’ve been putting up with it for literal years. That’s dreadful.
Comment sections are such an interesting forum for me, personally. I love to leave comments to let people know that their content has been read and appreciated, I also love to leave them as a nod to being like “thank-you for producing and putting this thing out into the world”, because I think it’s always important to let people know about how what they’re doing is good and worthwhile. But to see people turn something so helpful and kind into something so bad is dreadful to hear about.
I hope you’re doing okay.
Michael
https://www.mileinmyglasses.com
Carly – I’ve been reading your blog since you were at G’town and even though I’m not in your target demographic (mid 50s SAHM of two teens) I love your blog and writing. I’m so sorry you’ve been harassed; I’m so sorry there are people out there who feel the need to act that way. Thanks for not giving up on the rest of us who’ve been following you for so long! Keep on keeping on!
Hi Carly –
I am so sorry to hear this happened to you! Have you tried the premium version of the plugin Wordfence? It allows you to block specific IP addresses: https://www.wordfence.com/help/blocking/
Just a thought!
I have IP blocks on now, but I think she’s been traveling and coming in from hotel computers LOL
WOW that is persistence! She should apply for a job at the CIA, jeez!
Carly! This is the first time I have commented on your blog but I have been reading it daily for the better part of 5 years. Your blog is part of my morning routine— grab coffee, check Carly The Prepster, get ready for my day. I just wanted you to know that you have been an important part of my daily life and I’m so thankful that you keep blogging!
Carly – I’ve been following you for a while now (always have been my first site to check after my email when I get into work!) and I know you’ve opened up regarding this issue before. I’m so sorry to hear that is still happening and that it’s reached this level. I know it can be extremely hard to work to protect yourself and build that thick skin, but we are all human and have those things that can break you down regardless of how strong you may have felt before. I give you so so much credit for opening up to us about it, as I know it cannot be easy. I hope we can help continue to be a safety net for you, as we all truly do care for you and your health and well being.
xo, Taylor
Thank you for sharing! I had no idea this is something you would have to deal with. Your solution of having someone look at the comments first sounds like a good one. I adore you! Sending you love.
While I see hateful comments and responses on social media, it is truly disturbing to hear that someone has dedicated a substantial amount of time to harassing another person. You are an entrepreneur and a businesswoman who is doing her job – but beyond that, you serve as an inspiration and an escape to your readers AND you are a human with feelings. Harassment is unacceptable no matter what the form. I have three young girls and it truly frightens me to think of all the hate that exists in the world. I appreciate your candidness and hope that the community of women who care for one another and build each other up continues to GROW.
I’m so sorry that you’re having to go through all of this especially when you found an outlet you’re so passionate about. It’s unfortunate that people can be so cruel for no apparent reason other than an attempt to make themselves feel something. Hang in there the best you can and continue to surround yourself with love and positive energy. And always remember, these negative people cannot steal YOUR JOY. 🙂
Don’t let someone else’s negativity get to you! I love each and every one of your post and it’s something I look forward to them every morning.
The negative energy that person is spending is not a reflection of who you are and what you’re worth. They are not worth your “effs”.
Thank you for the blog and for making my mornings brighter! 🙂
Sending love and positive vibes your way! 🙂
Carly,
I’m so sorry that you have had to deal with this but I want to thank you for sharing about it and opening up.
Bullying is absolutely a real issue and the internet is such an easy way for people to “get away” with it. I hope this story encourages others and helps them realize that they aren’t alone and also helps bring attention to the issue.
Taylor | http://www.livingtaylored.com
So glad you’re back — after importantly taking the time you needed. You absolutely don’t deserve that kind of cruelty. I’ve been reading for ~8 years now and my best friend and I talk about your blog so much other people expect you’re another member of our friend group (haha)!
You have so many fans like me and that means you’re doing a lot of things right. Keep on keeping on, I’ll be here for another 8+ 🙂
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I don’t understand nasty people like the one(s) you referenced, and unfortunately they’re a fact of life 🙁 Just wanted to say that I love you and your blog (first one I read every day!) and I only wish you the very very best!
And look at the comments today – you have had such a positive impact on so many people! I’ve been reading your blog daily for years now, and it’s one of my favorite parts of my morning routine. I’ll never understand why someone would feel the need to be so hateful and petty, but it says a lot more about that person than it does about you. You keep doing your thing – you are amazing!
Oh Carly, I’ve been following you for such a long time on social medias and I think you’re an amazing and inspiring person! I noticed when the comments were disabled because, yes I tried to leave comments on your posts and the button wasn’t working out.
Probably that girl hates her life in a tremendous way, that she can’t accept the fact of you living your life. I imagine that she dreams and think about you all the time, she is not living her own life just desiring to have your life. In fact, she does need to make an urgent appointment to a psychologist to help her to deal with her envious and obsessive emotions. Being angry and hateful just causes even more sickness, and a bullier like her will probably ended with a suit in court.
I’m glad the comments are back! Love your style, your blogs, vlogs (and get ready with me videos)! I do hope things get well for you! God bless you, Carly! 💜 🙂 💙
I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this! I really appreciate how honest and upfront you are in this post. It is so difficult to receive such hate, and even more so to be so vulnerable and open yourself up to your readers to explain what has been going on!
https://alexagmarsh.blogspot.com
I cannot thank you enough for sharing this with us. Online bullying/harassment seems to be a growing issue in the blogging community. It blows my mind that someone can be so mean and bully you incessantly. For that one person who bullies, just know that you have such a large community of readers/followers/blog lovers who adore your writing!
I wanted to comment the other day about how AMAZING Dazzle Dry is and figured it was just a blip in the site. (Pro tip: I use the DD system with all my regular Essie and OPI colors and it still lasts about a week. I also only use Step 1 sometimes because it can be really drying on my nails.)
Also, I applaud you for making the right decision for you! If that means no comments for a bit, then so be it. Ultimately this is your site and everyone else comes second (though I get that there’s the element of “needing” the audience and engagement). It kills me to hear that this one person is STILL harassing you; I cannot fathom how people find the time and energy to be so dedicated to something so awful. Personally, if a comment can even be construed in the wrong way, I tend to not post it. I’m glad to hear that you have someone else moderating comments for you. Emily Henderson had a great post along the same lines…I think she said her team does the filtering now. You’re not alone and certainly you have thousands, if not millions, of other followers who are cheering you on 🙂 Stay strong! xoxo
Truly disgusting. I’m so sorry that anyone has to deal with that, but especially you. How people don’t understand that all of this is simply a snippet of your life, I’ll never understand. Hopefully that person gets the help they so clearly need.
I didn’t notice because I don’t comment at all. I’m a read and move on type of person but like another reader said, that is scary. Also very sad.
Happy Wednesday!
I have never commented before but I want to make sure that you know how much I enjoy your blog. People can be so mean, I don;t understand it. I know it is hard but try not to let it get to you.
Carly,
I am terribly sorry you have to deal with this ongoing Terrorist! I truly feel like what comes around, goes around and one day, maybe not so soon, this person will be dealt with their awful treatment 10 fold.
You are such a role model and inspiration to so many. I am literally addicted to your facebook page. You created such a wonderful space for women to be supportive in all different ways from diverse backgrounds. Hang in there! 🙂
I am SO sorry you’ve had to deal with this. I think it’s a great idea to have someone else monitor your comments!!! Sometimes there’s just something seriously wrong with a person and that’s just really sad. I hope that person finds a better outlet to deal with their issues than torturing others. You’ve been a huge inspiration in my life and your forwardness about anxiety and mental health is beyond refreshing. Do what you need to do to be your happiest, best self and know you’ll have followers like me who will support you!
This makes me so angry! Your blog is the *only* blog I read daily. Admittedly I haven’t been up-to-date because of work lately, but to open my email and read this and see that you were being actively harrassed is disgusting. I am so sorry. Know that you are loved even by strangers and you provide so much inspiration to people all over the world.
Not just about fashion or home design, but *you* have actually changed my life. From my professional life and finances, to my fitness routine and mental health… You – a stranger to me – have changed my life for the better. Please remember that you are an incredible woman and you are so valued.
Eff the bully(ies). Or as Mary Engelbreit put it, “Life is just a chair or bowlies”.
Hi Carly, I knew something was up, and it just frustrates me so much (pisses me off, really) how one person can be so hurtful. Just go away! Are you really that bored?! This is my favorite place on the internet; I have always felt safe and have been reading for years. Mental health will always be paramount (to anything, whatsoever), so if you need to turn the comments off forever, turn them off.
Hi Carly – so sorry to hear that you’ve been dealing with this. It does make you wonder at this specific individual’s dedication…clearly something is very wrong there. I echo the support many others are writing in their comments, and I also wanted to recommend the book “Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman” by Lindy West, in case you haven’t read it – she deals with internet trolls, amongst a range of other subjects, and I found it a very uplifting and hilarious read, despite dealing with some pretty awful stuff. You might particularly enjoy it right now. Keep doing you!
I’m so sorry this happened to you, Carly. I’ve been consistently reading your blog for 8 or so years and it really breaks my heart that someone feels that they need to do this and that you have had to face it. It would also be incredibly sad if you had to stop your blog, that we all LOVE so very much. We are all here to rally behind you and I hope this girl finds the love and light in her life that she seems to be desperately missing <3
I’ve commented off and on for about 6 years now. I discovered your blog through your “Intense Study Tips” post in a particularly dark time in my life. I was failing out of school and didn’t know what to do. Then I found your post.
I was able to learn how to study in a productive manner, went on to get my Associates, Bachelors and Masters degree. I started two blogs that I still run today. All of these things were in part because of that one post, and so many more in between, that you chose to share with all of us. Thank you for having that courage to share little pieces of yourself with us for almost 10 years, and for inspiring so many others to have the courage to do the same.
Do what’s best for your mental health! People who respect you and care for you won’t judge you for it. As a supporter of your blog, social worker, and a blogger myself, I applaud you in taking care of yourself. So many of us forget to do that.
Carly, this is a very powerful post. It couldn’t have been easy for you to dive into all of this and to share so openly but I’m so glad you did. This is a very important topic and you sharing your experience and strength can be an inspiration (and support) for others.
PS – Don’t let others get you down (easier said than done) – you are fabulous!
Carly…
It is a very angry hateful world unfortunately….even though as you point out it is a very small percentage. You have worked hard to build your brand and your blog…whatever you do …do not let disfunctional people affect your business decisions. Your solution for screening is excellent. Thank you ….a loyal reader.
👏🏼👏🏼 I think this was such a perfect response! It’s sad that there’s even online bullying in the first place but it’s even more pathetic that some people feel the need to elevate it to harassment. I hope other people who are struggling with that one nasty person in their life follow after your example and simply take away the other person’s power over their happiness. I’m proud of you for doing what needs to be done in order to take control over this one person’s nonsense!
DAMNIT. This makes me so angry. You have been so consistent with blogging for so many years, and I’ve been a consistent reader. So when you didn’t publish a blog for a few days in a row, I knew something was up. I should have emailed you, but I also kind of had a feeling that there was a serious reason and even people with blue check marks on Instagram need their space and privacy. Know that people noticed, know that people care, and know that people have your best interests at heart. It is mind-boggling that someone could expend that much energy on hate. I feel sorry for her. What a miserable life she must lead. Keep on keeping on, as long as you feel safe to do so. You’re a shining light in this often drab, crappy world we live in.
I just recently started folowwing you. Love your blog. Please continue! And glad someone else is moderating comments. Do not expose yourself to the hate. And try not to take it personally. Which is easier said than done😜 But. People who direct anger and hate at others have very deep issues and this person who targeted you hates herself, not you. You and your success are an easy target of transference. Dont let your heart or mind feel bitterness but sadness for such people! And stay positive and lovely😘 thats who you are and dont let the haters change that!
I am so sorry this person is being so horrible to you. Some people are sick.
Hi Carly!
Long time reader, infrequent commenter! I found your blog my junior year of college and it feels that we’ve grown up together – graduating college, new jobs, stress, expectations, fashion evolutions, etc. Your blog was a touchstone for me and it let me know that I wasn’t the only one going through these things. Keep up the good work and never apologize for doing what’s best for you!
Dear Carly, the comments this person left are ridiculous. I’m so glad you are taking care of yourself and are doing what you need to do for yourself in order to maintain your serenity, regather your strength, and come back as strong as ever. You are a beautiful, sweet, smart, talented, stylish, lovable person. People who leave comments like those are simply jealous. None of the rest of us believes or even cares one iota about any of their nonsense. Huge love and hugs ~ Janis from Florida
Hi Carly, thanks for sharing so honestly with us, and I am so sorry that someone would attack you in such terrible ways. I completely understand why you felt the need to separate from the source of the stress. I sincerely hope things improve. Someone else moderating the comments sounds like a great idea! I wish you the absolute best and always enjoy reading your blog. 🙂
-Rachel
Carly, I’m so sorry that you have been getting such terrible comments! I appreciate you writing this post and am sad that people can be so awful. I enjoy reading your posts!
This is so well said!! Carly, your blog resonates with so many readers not just because of the content of your posts but also the heartfelt, genuine and honest way you write them! Turn off the comments if that helps you – we’ll still be here reading (and thoroughly enjoying) every single post! We <3 you and your work!!
Carly,
I am so sorry to read about what you’re going through. I have never commented on your blog before but I feel compelled to tell you that I am a regular reader and have been for years. Most recently, this blog has been something I look forward to as you publish every single day. I’ve been up nursing a baby for the past 7 months at god forsaken hours but when it’s after midnight, things are a bit more bearable knowing that I can at least read a new post on here! I’m a 31 year old mom of 2 so I’m probably not your target demographic but I did want you to know the comfort? I’ve found in your blog.
Hang in there. We’re living through an especially toxic time where it seems hatred, misogyny, racism, and bigotry are traits that are encouraged and praised. Especially when veiled behind the anonymity of the internet. You have strangers in your corner though.
Warmest regards.
It pains my heart to read about what you are going through. I have followed your blog since your days at Georgetown, you were the first blog I read and the one who inspired me to start a blog of my own. You out so much of yourself out there (which is part of what makes your blog so magnetic) but I’m sure also what gives people the ability to truly hurt you. I’m so sorry that there are people (specifically one person) that are so unhappy that they have to hurt you. Thank you for pushing through but none of us blame you for taking a little time for your mental health.
This makes me sick! I have read your blog for years and follow you on Instagram and find you absolutely wonderful and inspiring! To think that people are that hateful is ridiculous! Keep your head up Carly! Because there are people out there that look up to you! You are a strong and beautiful young woman!
Hi Carly! I have been reading your blog religiously since my sophomore year of high school and now I am about enter my senior year of college. I am sorry you have to deal with this, you’re corner of the internet has always been a positive and inspirational place and such hate is horrible. I think your blog means a lot to a lot of girls, myself included, and I hope this situation improves. Sending love <3
Hi Carly-
I have been a follower for a few years now and it saddens me that people in this day and age will hide behind a computer and feel it is ok to say whatever they want without consequence. I agree fully that if that poster would just use that energy for something positive she could probably move mountains but people are not wired like that. She has her own issues, whatever they might be (and personally none of my business) but she needs to move on with her life. I would be slightly curious if she does this to other blogs too, I am sure there is a way to find out but is it really worth anyone’s effort? Keep doing you and know that you reach so many people with your blog. Take care of you but know your supporters far outweigh the negative people.
Carly, this is heartbreaking! People can be very mean – my coworker recently said “Hurt people hurt,” (so true) after we experienced an unnecessary and painful altercation with another coworker. Also, I never comment but I’ve been reading your blog faithfully for… at least 4 years (maybe it’s 5?!). I’m speaking for a lot of people but we appreciate you and ALL of the effort that goes into your blog/vlog/everything! 🙂
LOVE how you address real life issues that anyone can face via social media! It’s awesome when you share your perspective for others to connect with. Also, the photo you chose for this post is perfect – so sunny and serene!
Boy is that person persistent! 🙁 I’m glad you’re taking the step back that you need, and I hope you find it rejuvenating! Thank you for sharing your positivity with the world, and I hope that the steps you’ve taken will return this space back into a positive experience through and through for you. I don’t have much to say right now except that I wish you all the best, and your post resonated in more than a blip on Google Analytics! -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s
Hi Carly, thank you so much for your honesty in today’s post. I am really sorry to hear you’ve been targeted in this way. Know that the vast majority of your readers adore you! Personally, I admire you so much and wish you were my real life friend 💕
Hi Carly!
I am so sorry to hear that you have been dealing with this. No one should have to endure such negativity.
Your blog and youtube are sources of such positivity in my own life, I always look forward to reading your posts!
I’m happy to hear that you are planning to continue blogging, but please know that if you ever do need to stop for any reason, you do not need to apologize. Your wellbeing and happiness are more important.
Thank you for all you do, it is so appreciated!
Sincerely,
Onnie
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this! I know how much social media can contribute to anxiety, and it’s incredible that you battle against that every day to keep putting up content that you (and your readers!) love. As many other commentors have written, your honesty and vulnerability are what make you such an incredible blogger. As someone who came to terms with their own anxiety since beginning to read this blog, I consider you a huge role model. Keep up the great work, and do whatever you need to do (like switching off comments every now and then) to support your mental health!
-Alex C.
Oh Carly, my heart just broke for you. Nobody should have to deal with that additional stress (or give someone so hateful any of their precious eff’s 🙂 ) Thank you for being so real and being you. Keep doing what you need to do for yourself <3
WOW—you’re literally the third person to blog about something of the same “theme.” I don’t read a lot of blogs these days, but I feel so bad for blogger friends who’ve been victims of such vicious hatred. Some people just don’t have much anything else to do, no?
Anyway, thanks for sharing that image with Morgan Freeman. I shared it on Twitter, and it’s probably the best thing I’ve read all week!
I don’t really know you obviously but even so I’m just going to say how impressed I am with your ability to open up about this. It can’t have been easy to address this and I can imagine the bravery it must have taken. Just so you know, I think it was a good decision based on how you were able to think about everything in your life, therefore. Also it was nice reading this because I liked seeing a blogger be so open and honest.
This sounds truly awful and unfair for anyone to have to go through. One reframe that I’m sure you’ve thought of before: What in the world is going on in that poor soul’s life / mind / being that is causing her to be so hateful of you? In reality, any comments she leaves are projections of how she is feeling about herself. It is completely unfair (and unproductive!) to target her own issues and insecurities at you, so I completely agree with you “silencing” those comments and I can only imagine how much they impact you, however I wonder if this “reframe” might enable you to put her comments in a box and tie them with a bow so that they can bother you a little less so you can keep doing what you (and we your readers!) love.
-Emily
Impressed with your taking control and making sure you are looking out for yourself!
Carly,
I’m so sorry this is happening! I’ve only been here for about 2 years, but I enjoy your content so much! It’s so obvious that you’re a lovely person who is kind, genuine, and positive. It boggles my mind that someone could send so much time be hateful toward someone who so positive and fun. Keep doing you, you’re amazing! 💕💕
I’m sorry people are awful. Your blog is a great one, and one I follow for fitness motivation and life coaching! You are the most genuine and ‘real’ blogger out there! I hope you feel better soon and I hope this person gets a life.
I am so sorry you have to deal with crap people who feel the need to tear you down. I’ve been reading your blog for over 6 years now and I love it. Just know that you mean so much to so many people.
Ugh, I had been wondering why you’d shut the comments down. I noticed in your first YouTube video back that you’d said something about getting mean comments, and I wondered then if that had something to do with it… First, let me just say that I’ve been reading your blog off and on since my junior year of college (somewhere in 2011-2012), and I love your blog. I’m not huge into fashion, but I still enjoy that aspect and just love how positive and uplifting you keep everything as a whole. I can’t imagine why ANYONE would feel the need to be nasty to you or about anything you write. They need some serious help, especially going on for that long and that obsessively…jeez…
I’m currently reading your posts from earlier in the year because life got crazy, and I didn’t have time to read much. It’s inspired me to start reading and working on my blog again too! I hope you know that the vast majority of us reading really are inspired by your words.
I hope things get better from here on out!
-Jordan
You’re a Rockstar Carly! People who constantly do that mean stuff aren’t worth the trouble they put you through. I’m sorry you’re having to go through with it, but I hope you and your lawyers can find a way to make it stop. Maybe a restraining order if that’s possible? People who thrive on putting others down tend to have a lot of trouble in their hearts and in their lives and you just happen to be the outlet of this one’s. Many times, they’re jealous of other’s successes and try to drag them down to make themselves feel better.
Keep your head high and just know people love you for who you are and what you do! If blogging makes you happy, continue to do it because for every one mean person, there’s thousands of people ready to support you!!
We’ve never met, but I always read your posts whenever they pop in my inbox. I actually look forward to them, they’re like a little ray of sunshine 😀 Thank you for everything you do. You make a big impact in many people’s lives!
Carly, you’re amazing!! I read a quotation somewhere (I think maybe Lady Gaga said it? …don’t quote me on that) and it was something like “You could be the best, juiciest peach in the whole world, and there’s still going to be someone out there who doesn’t like peaches.” I think you’re doing an amazing job, and it’s been fun watching how you’ve grown from when I started reading your blog back in sophomore year of college (that’s 7 years ago!). Keep up the great work, and remember eff the haters!
Carly,
I, like so many others, am not a regular blog commenter. Your blog is one of two that I follow daily. As a 53 year old mother of a child beginning college this Friday (!), and one who started a new graduate program last week, I find your posts interesting, insightful, and topical. I’ve seen this ‘mean girl’ bullying behavior affect both of my children, and it has affected me at various points in my life…even as an older adult with other ‘mom’ friends.
Writing about your experiences in the way that you did takes so much courage. No one deserves to be treated the way you have been, and I’m glad you’re setting limits, moving forward and continuing to do something you love (and are very good at). I hope this is a wake-up call for that person. As a psychologist, I would encourage her to think about seeing a counselor or psychotherapist to work on herself. Most likely, this person has had some emotional damage done to her, and is lashing out to try and feel better. There is so much more to life, though, than spending your time tearing someone apart.
Thank you, Carly, for showing such grace. You’ve set a wonderful example for all of us.
Carly, I’ve been reading almost since the beginning and I cannot tell you how many ways you’ve supported my fashion and skin care but mostly in the past couple years of navigating the craziness of post-grad/adulthood. You’re experiencing everything just a few years ahead of me so being able to learn from your experiences but also sometimes right along side is the best. I hope the break from comments is restorative for you and that you can fill yourself back up because you pour so much greatness out to us all!
Best,
Emily
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I’ve been writing online for a long time myself, and I’m no stranger to being attacked, so I understand how hard it can be. You do whatever you have to do for your peace of mind. I am proud of you for bringing attention to this topic. There’s so much internet bullying, and it needs to stop. No one deserves to be subjected to this kind of experience.
I wish you all the best, take care of yourself.
I was wondering why it wouldn’t let me comment! That’s terrible and I’m glad you’re handing it over (for now) to someone else. It will hopefully make it easier on you and let you get back into the grove. I personally think you are rocking the blog life AND your personal life. You are seriously an inspiration for SO MANY people out there. If you don’t get to see this that’s ok, I just know we all hope you start feeling yourself again. And thanks for having an amazing blog.
So sorry you are dealing with this. This is my first comment and I wanted you to know that I love your blog!
I love your blog!
Let those comments roll right off. Hurting people hurt other people.
Hi Carly. I’m so sorry that this has been going on. No one deserves to feel harassed. Just know you have so many people to back you up! We are here for you!
I am so sorry to hear this has been happening to you! I have enjoyed following you for years as you navigate your twenties but have never commented. I will certainly do so in the future. Hang in there! You are a bright spot in a lot of people’s days!
That is absolutely awful! I’m sorry to hear that you have to endure that. I appreciate that you’re sharing your vulnerability with readers while also taking care of yourself too – it keeps things real in this increasingly digital world.
Carly, point blank you’re awesome. Not sure how I stumbled onto your blog a few years ago but am so glad I did. I don’t think I’m in your usual age bracket, but I do find a lot of your posts very relatable. They are also so helpful to my twin daughters who are seniors in high school. Thank you for your transparency. It has helped us so much in regards to self-confidence, anxiety and other issues teens/young women/etc. face every day. Continue to do what you do because you do it so well. 🙂
Hi!! I’ve been reading your blog since you started – I love your honesty and how vulnerable and approachable you are. Keep on going with your amazing work! 💖 Hugs, all the way from sunny ☀️Panama!
Carly,
I have been reading your blog for years ( since I was struggling my freshman year of college) and posts like this are ones that I keep coming back to for inspiration. You are so talented and offer so much to so many women (and men) around the world and I can’t begin to imagine how much courage and strength that takes. It is so sad what lengths people who are unhappy will go to make others unhappy, and I am sorry you have been victim to that. Thank you for writing posts like this, ones with advice for all types of sitatuations of how to stand up for yourself and take care of your own mental wellbeing.
Hi Carly!
Sorry you had to go through this. Some people are just hateful to the core. Is there anyway you could outsource the comment section to someone else, who could filter this particular person’s comments so that you never had to see them in the first place? You could still respond to the pertinent messages, but it would eliminate you having to deal with this particular person.
I also highly recommend reading The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. He offers some great tips for dealing with people like this.
That is so sad! I cannot understand why women tear other women down. We should be helping each other out, it’s already hard enough out there. I was thought one thing a couple of years ago, and that is that you can’t beat envy. And I feel that this is what going on here… You’re better than her so keep your head up and let the other women on here put your crown up straight. Because you’re awesome and a great inspiration! 😘
Hi Carly!
I have been reading your blog for years and never commented before – but wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your writing and (of course) fashion sense. I’m sorry you have to deal with someone so negative and determined, and wanted to throw out my support for you and your blog! Keep being you!
Kate
Carly! some people are just miserable and totally suck, and I’m sorry someone feels the need to treat you so horribly. Thank you for being open with the struggles, and major thanks for the bit about only so many effs go give. That’s a good one. Sending a virtual hug and some gratitude for keeping up the blogging
I give you a lot of credit for putting yourself out there and continuing with doing your job and what you love – mean people are mean inside and out and it sucks they ruin a good day for everyone around them. Stay strong and know you bring joy to many other “good” people!
I had no idea there’s a whole website full of people dedicated to tearing apart other women’s blogs and lifestyle. Such a “WTF?!?!”moment. I thought 2018 was the year of feminism and women empowerment! I have some bloggers I relate to more than others but would never think to blatantly tear them apart over. Just goes to show that we need continue to be encouragers and empower other women to be their best.
Your comments will connect with a lot of us, unfortunately.
But I say keep going forward. Keep your chin up Carly.
And never let them see you sweat!
First of all that is an absolutely beautiful photo of you. As a regular reader I would be so sad if you stopped blogging! Heading over to your blog to read what you are up to, or what’s on your mind, or advice you offer, or see things you recommend, is always a bright spot in my day! The fact that a human out there chooses to continually bully you is just so sad…I mean it’s sad for you, but it’s even sadder for them. That person’s life must be pretty empty if that’s how they choose to spend their time and energy?! Keep your head up girl, there’s clearly a lot of people out there who love what you do, and we appreciated the time, effort and honesty you put into all your posts. xo
Your blog is one of the few I read consistently. I love your tone and appreciate the topics you write about- fashion, young adult life, (more recently) fitness, what’s on your radar, etc. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to deal with bullying and harassment! What a draining thing to encounter every day. Hopefully, this change is good for your mental health! While it is your life to live, I do hope you keep writing. I definitely enjoy reading it! All the best, xx Lynn-Holly
I’m 60 years old. Love following your posts. Just love your style, humility and pleasurable conversations. Keep it up. You’re awesome and mean commenters are not. 😎
Carly, my mom and I have been fans of your blog for five years now. You inspire us both in mind and in fashion! Thank you for your hard work over the years, and for reminding us what is and isn’t worth “giving an eff”! We love you!
Hey! You are awesome. Just wanted to let you know that! Thanks for doing what you do.
We LOVE YOU! I’ve been reading your blog for years and am happy to support you and cheer you on. You are doing so many things right. Sending lots of love from Utah!
Carly, you are so wise. I am a young teenager and I look up to you SO much. It still is beyond me why people leave hate comments online. Someone must be really insecure to try and bring you down. Keep doing what you’re doing, because you’re awesome! I love reading your blog for advice! ❤️
Great post!
I love your blog, and love the posts that give more of a glimpse into your personal life. It reminds me that you’re an actual real-life person, if that makes sense! I don’t read your blog every day, but I do scroll through whenever I get a chance and check up on everything going on here. I’m sorry that the comments you received were harassing to you, that’s so horrible! Just know that there are many more people who read and resonate with your words and advice than those who spread hate ❤️
Holy cow, I cannot believe someone would spend so much time sending you hate! That’s awful and I’m sorry you had to go through that – it’s definitely harassment. I think having someone else do the initial moderation of your comment section a good idea, and something you should continue to do, that way not only do you save time, but you need not even spend the mental energy on the negativity. Wishing you peace and happiness <3
Eva | http://www.shessobright.com
I don’t usually comment, but wanted to take a moment to let you know I’ve been following your blog since 2013 and it’s been a consistent source of inspiration and encouragement for me with regards to style, fitness (you inspired me to take up barre and running, neither of which I would EVER have imagined doing before), and mental health. Thank you for being you.
Carly! I have followed you on social media for several years now as I am going to be a senior in college. I am so sorry there are sick people like that commenting on your posts! But thank you for sharing this! I think many women nowadays have heightened anxiety due to social media (I know I do) which is sad because it is meant to do the opposite! I wish you the best of luck and I look forward to more posts of resilience! <3
It’s amazing how much time people spend bringing other people down! I’m an often silent reader but will start engaging more. We all can use a little more positive in our lives, and you bring that to mine with your blog!
Also, you might want to read The Gift of Fear, which is an excellent book that lets you know what to do when someone is stalking or harassing you. Unfortunately, he hasn’t written it for the cyber bullying era, but I think the advice still stands. Mainly never, ever respond or react to the person. They will use that fuel to keep harassing you. In that sense I worry that this post might give them even more fuel to keep going – it’s like acknowledging they exist. Anyway, it’s a good resource to know when you’re in danger. I hope you feel better.
Eva | http://www.shessobright.com
Oh jeez. How absolutely terrible! For these nasty comments to go on for years?! Wild. Who has time to post such negativity every darn day? Exhausting. Hang in there!
Hi Carly,
Even though I don’t comment often ( I think I have commented once or twice and sent you a few messages on instagram), you are one of the blogs I follow daily. I can always count on you to have a new post up. I follow a few other blogs and if none of them have any new content, my literal thought is “Carly won’t let me down” haha! And you never do!
You are one of the reasons I’ve considered multiple times starting my own blog and while this is still just a dream of mine, you are living that dream. If blogging still makes you happy for the most part, don’t give it up! I’m so sorry you had to deal with this and I hope things get better!
Vulnerability is your greatest strength. Some people are vindictive assholes, and there’s no sense in trying to rationalize why (except to acknowledge that 97% of the time, it really is borne from straight up jealousy!)
Please don’t give up or give in, on behalf of the people who really enjoy your content. We’ll collectively give her the 🖕🏻!
You are strong, and while that doesn’t bring you solace, you empower so many women. I wish I could handle this persons, but it wouldn’t fix your problem. I read your blog ( i don’t read too many anymore) and love it so much. You’re an icon. I’m rooting for you 🤗❤️.
I’m a few years older but have always looked up to you as a model of someone who is taking an active role to live her life in confidence & happiness, especially when you share that you are stepping out of your comfort zone to do so. I am so sorry that you have been the target of such cruel attacks. As someone who has also dealt with anxiety in the past, I know how easily that toxicity can affect your mental state. Your blog & your voice are an encouragement to so many – I hope you can find a way to keep going, but only if it’s in the best interest of your health & happiness! Sending positive thoughts (& possibly a few “effs to give” on loan) your way 🙂
Carly that is so awful! I’m so sorry this has been happening to you. You’re so inspirational and truly a great person. I love reading all of your posts and hope you know that so many of us out here would be devasted if you gave up blogging. We love being able to grow and do life with you via the internet. Thank you for always caring and working so hard to inspire all of us!
Hugs. That person is pitiable and pathetic.
It is sad to hear about people who put bad karma out into the world by criticizing others instead of working on their own deficiencies. Just know that it’s not your problem, it’s theirs.
So sorry to hear about this. I read your blog everyday and look forward to it. As a mom of two teenagers, I think you’re a great role model and I find your blog refreshing in this crazy world. Hang in there!
I’m so sorry to hear about the negative comments and especially that one commenter in general (geez what is her problem??), but glad you’re back to blogging. You and your blog have helped me so much on different life issues. I’ve especially loved being part of your Facebook group – it’s full of super supportive people!
Is there any legal solution ? Can someone harassed you for years without any possibility tonbe annoyed ? I hope the law will follow to protect you and all the bloger we are pleased to follow.
I am so sorry someone made you feel way!!! Shame on that girl.
I rarely ever comment on blogs but I just wanted to say thank you. For sharing your life with us and for being so honest and real. I can’t say how much I appreciate it. I wish that there was legal recourse you could take against this person, although sadly there probably is none.
Over the last few years, I’ve limited the number of actual blogs I read to maybe three or four. Yours has always remained one of them and it is just as much because of your interesting, creative content as it is your ability to share so authentically and vulnerably about your life.
This is now much longer than I ever thought it would be, so in short: thank you!
That’s awful this person has done this to you. It truly is harassment. Its sad for you as well as her because, as you said, it takes a lot of negative energy and dedication to constantly treat someone like that. I wish I could be as disciplined about going to the gym everyday as some people are with their persistent hate comments. Jokes aside, I’m glad you’re feeling better about it and have shared this. Its a valuable lesson and you make great points about the distinction between types of comments. Constructive criticism is very different than straight up criticism or mean comments and is a subtle difference from one to the next to the next that most don’t keep in mind. Hopefully more readers think twice about the comments they make on someones blog or social media accounts, positive or negative, as they do send a message either way to the recipient. Hope you continue to feel better about this and that the harassment stops!
Dear Carly,
It’s not easy to talk about emotions, especially when they make you feel sick, vulnerable and insecure. Due to all the anonymity on the internet, some people feel safe while bullying and disrespecting others.
I really appreciate your blogpost and that you talk so openly about the difficulties you’ve been dealing with.
Lots of love and positive thoughts from Germany!
I’m so sadden by this! Hasn’t she ever heard the saying if you don’t have anything nice to say, it’s better to not say it at all? You shouldn’t have to put up with that just for being a blogger.
Have you considered having someone else moderate or filter your comments section before you see them so you don’t have to deal with the “mean” ones?
And I had tried to comment on a blog post just a few days ago asking about shoe sizing on those rubber Native sneakers you wear, but when I couldn’t I just assumed you closed comments after a certain period of time. Glad to see they’re back!
I’ve been following you for years now and I’m really sad to read your post! No one, famous or not, should have to deal with bullies. Have you considered reporting it to the police or have someone monitor your comments. The amount of hate that some people are leaving in comments on social media is frightening.
Take care 💕
Back when I really didn’t know what blogging/Instagram was all about, you were one of the first people I started following! I’ve been a fan ever since. I can’t fathom what goes on in these horrible peoples minds but just know this girl right here loves your blog! 🙂
Carly,
All I can say about that mean person is…bitch bye! hahaha like it sad that her life has so much negativity so lets just not even giver the time of day! Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you have a group of followers that love you and your content and the fact that you did what you needed to do for your own mental health is already setting an example! I love all your posts, every morning I drink my coffee while reading your posts and it makes my day a little brighter. If you ever left although sad I would totally support you, do what makes you happy! Love the effs quote haha shared it with all my family and friends! Anyway, thank you for being so open with us hope your day is going well! PS might want to pop by the FB group!
I am shocked at the level of hate that goes on in the world. Why does this person feel the need to say anything negative at all? If she doesn’t like something, don’t follow- yikes. I was just talking about this to my daughter–It makes it hard to stay open and kind, when there are people out there like this. I’m glad bloggers like you put light on this issue and are a positive example for young women. Great job pushing through the challenge!
I never understand how people can be so hateful. This is such a well written post, thanks for explaining the situation to your readers. I was concerned when you were MIA last week! I think someone else moderating the comment section is a great idea. I couldn’t imagine having to read negative things about me everyday (true or not), it definitely takes a toll on your mindset.
Carly! I am so so so sorry that this is/has been happening to you. I have been a reader since about 2011 and your writing has really impacted me. I feel like we’ve grown up together! I know it is so difficult, but vulnerable posts like this one are my favorite because you edge into “friend” territory even further. I hope this harassment stops. Thank you for being you!
Hi Carly,
Just sending a little love and to let you know that I enjoy your content. Stay strong!
xoxo
Ericka
Your blog is amazing. It’s so so SO sad that they are using their precious life that way. I mean really, what a sad way to spend your life. Keep living yours! 💙
I’m sorry you have to deal with this! Thank you for being so honest about a difficult situation. I’ve been a fan of your blog for years and am so happy you’re going to continue! You rock girl
Hey Carly,
Long time reader (2012), first time commenter.
This post gave me goosebumps. It is so horrible that this person has continued to harass you. I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this crazy extreme. When you said above how successful this person would be if they applied their tenacity to something positive I think that perspective is so graceful and big of you to point out.
Anyways, I just wanted to post with my humble support to keep going. Like I mentioned I have read your blog for several years and have enjoyed seeing your journey. I’m sure I’m not the only one here that thinks this, but I feel like we’d be great friends in real life!
Thanks for posting this – I hope you keep on trucking!
All the best,
Alex
Reading you from France ! I never leave any comment but just considered it after reading your article.
Do not give up because of one stupid person, so many others like your posts…
I like the way you write !
I am proud of you any woman who stands up and says that they have limits and that being mistreated is unacceptable. You did the right thing and I am so glad that someone else will be helping with comments. I truly hope you feel empowered by your decision and receive the support you deserve!
I’ve been following for years but never comment. I love your blog please, please keep up the good work!!
This made me so sad. This is the first comment I’ve ever left on a blog, and I want to use it to say that I really appreciate your authenticity, tips and insights. It sounds stupid, but our recent instagram stories with humidity hair have helped me think logically about a lot of dumb insecurities about my own social media presence/life in general. I’m sorry to hear someone’s rude comments got to you and temporarily shut you down. I hope you know for everyone one rude person, there are 100 more like me who just don’t comment but appreciate you!!
Whomever has been sending you those nasty comments certainly cares an aweful lot about something she professes to not care for. What a nasty troll.
I like your stuff. Her hatred definitely stems from jealousy. She claims that you flit about all day doing nothing of purpose (which I think many of us agree is by no means the truth – and we only see what you want us to see, not the daily grind that goes into your self-made job) but the reality is that she is more so guilty of wasting time by tearing you down, safely tucked away behind a computer screen. It’s pure cowardice and jealousy.
“No one has ever made himself great by showing how small someone else is.” I.H.
PROUD OF YOU. You’re an amazingly wonderful person and friend, and anyone who doesn’t see that simply doesn’t know you. <3 Sending so much love from the Larkin Family! And I'll just leave this here: FOUR. 😉
Thank you for sharing a real and unfortunately undiscussed part of being a blogger. Just because it says anonymous doesn’t mean it hurts less when someone sticks their name to a comment. I applaud you and thank you for being vulnerable with your audience and I can’t wait to continue following your blog like I have for years.
Hi Carly,
I am just a middle aged mom in Westchester NY but I was so upset to read this post! I have a college age daughter who goes to Bucknell and I would be so proud if she turned out like you! You are gorgeous and smart and driven. Don’t let ANYONE ever take that away from you or cause you grief. You should put comments back so the bullies don’t win. You be you and keep doing what you’re doing!
This makes me so sad to read. In a world where class feels like it’s just gone out the window, you’ve made me feel like it’s okay to hold onto that sense of style. Whoever the ugly girl is she is obviously just jealous of someone who obviously holds her head much, much higher.
Hi Carly,
Looking at your comment section now is amazing! You truly have a wonderful and authentic audience! I’ve been a reader for years, (I remember your college mirror OOTD posts!) love your work! I can’t imagine what it would be like to constantly have someone tear you down. Please, please, please don’t let one person ruin this for you and all of us who love learning from you and being inspired by you. : )
My heart goes out to you, Carly. No one should have to go through that kind of pain over something they enjoy. Your blog has been a source of inspiration to me over the years, and I love reading your posts each day. Sounds like there are so many readers who are an army behind you-we support you!! I admire that you are able to say something out right like this-because addressing the bully is the worst thing to do and not easy whatsoever. You are so strong for writing this. Many prayers and hugs for a peaceful ending.
Hey Carly don’t let the crazies get you down. Specially when it’s one person who is consistently hating… they need to live a little because who has time for all that nonsense. I’ve been enjoying your blog for years at least 6 now, I remember reading you in my sorority house room and now I read you from my very own home. I love your post! I can totally relate and in a sense feel like you tell the sorority of the every educated young woman!
Carly,
Just as you explained in your post, there will always be haters in this world. To whomever is taking that much time and energy to post such rude comments, they clearly have a problem with themselves and need to take some serious self-reflection time.
Your posts are WONDERFUL and often make my day! Know that there are so many of us out here that appreciate all that you share. Thank you for your vulnerability and inspiration!
It really is incredible the amount of effort people put into online harassment. It’s as easy as not going on your blog or following you on social media if she doesn’t like it! But that being said, there are so many people that LOVE what you share so I’ll very selfishly hope you don’t shut down anytime soon!!!! Hopefully something can be done about that terrible human and you can continue to post all your cute af dogs 🙂
xx Victoria
http://www.strungingold.com
Hi Carly,
I have been reading your blog for about a year or so now, and I absolutely love it. It’s the only blog I read daily because your content is inspring and you come off as down to earth and approachable. As someone who has anxiety too I have greatly appreciated your openess about it and the strategies you use to handle it, I am sure it takes a lot of courage to share about your anxiety on the internet (as well as other aspects of your life that you blog about).
That being said I am sorry that you have had to deal with this person for so long. It seems like they have a lot of time on their hands to be so persistent. They are probably struggling with something that has lead them to being insecure, so insecure that they feel the need to put you down to feel better about themselves. It is sad that this person feels the need to that to be happy in their life, so I feel empathy for them not that that is any excuse for what they are doing to you (and hopefully no one else).
It’s easy to be mean and to bully, which is why I think so many people turn to that type of behavior to deal with their problems and insecurities in life. It takes grace and courage to be kind. It also takes grace and courage to be as poised as you are about your situation. You have handled it so well and in a mature way. I don’t blame you for needing to disable the comments for a while! You have to what you have to do! Just know that for that one negative person you have so much more readers who are positive, support you, and enjoy your content! Never forget that, and keep doing YOU Carly you are an inspiration!
Carly, I’m so sorry this has happened to you—and that the source of your anxiety comes from a single person! This girl or woman sounds mentally unstable, if the harassment has been going on for years. I know you’ve probably considered this, but can you take legal action since you have her IP address? In any case, I hope you won’t let this one—or even a few—unhappy and self-loathing girls stop you from doing something you love. That would be giving up. And that would be a shame for so many reasons, the main one being then the haters win.
Wishing you only the best because that’s what you deserve.
Carly, I’ve never commented before either! I started following your blog when I was 17 and have been hooked ever since. I’m now 22! I served a church mission for 18 months in the Philippines and had no internet the whole time. When I got home, I was so excited to catch up on your blog! I feel like you read my mind with the timeliness of your posts (the week you posted about eyelash extensions, I was debating about getting eyelash extensions! Lol). I love your insights and how real you are about things. Thank you for being a part of my life. I look to you all the time for fashion inspiration, organizational skills, and so much more! I really admire you and feel like you’re a long-distant friend, even though we’ve never met! I even emailed you a question one time and you responded, which made me a little star struck tbh haha. Sending love and peace your way. You are doing so much good 🙂
I am so sorry you have been dealing with that, but I appreciate how open you are being about it! So glad you were able to find a decent solution and didn’t decide to stop blogging all together. You were one of the first bloggers I started following about 7 years ago and you are one of the few I still read consistently! Thanks for all the hard work you put into your blog and for the joy you spread through it!
xo, Scarlett
Hey Carly!
Thanks so much for sharing this with us! I am so sorry you had to deal with that. I am so grateful you came back to the blog and invite us into your life in so many different ways. These posts have been such a huge encouragement for me during hard times at school, and inspiration for home life (love the baking video with your Mom!). I hope things continue to improve here and that you experience so much joy!
Wishing you an awesome weekend 🙂
Hey Carly,
I’ve been reading your blog and “following” you now for around 9ish years. (I just counted out the years and cannot believe it.) I was on Pinterest one night in college trying to find a way to study for finals and one of your posts came up, and I’ve been “following” you ever since! (“Following” is such an odd thing to say, am I right??) Anyways, I like to say I started reading your blog, etc. before Influencers were a thing. I’ve never commented, but I had to on this post because I thought even if you don’t read every comment, I wanted you to know that there are “normal” people (I’m using way too many parenthaces) out there who love your blog and love the things you put out there. I don’t know how you do the job you do, but I’m thankful that you do it because whether I’ve had a long day working at my pharmacy and just want something quick to read before bed, I go to the blog, when I need a new book to read, I see what you recommend, and when you insta about your workouts I think a tad bit more about going for a run myself. This has become incredibly too long, but just wanted to take a few minutes and let you know how “following” you has been a big part of my young adult/adult life, and I think there are way more people in your corner than not, so keep doing what you’re doing girl! Let me know if you ever need anything 🙂
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been dealing with such hatred and cruelty. I think I’ve commented on a blog post maybe once, but I truly felt compelled to reply here. I often read comments on Instagram, blog posts, etc from influencers I follow to reality stars (huge Bachelor and Bravo fan!) and I’m astonished, saddened and so disturbed by the blatant anger and negativity I read. Over time, I’ve noticed a common theme – most haters work incredibly hard to remain anonymous. How interesting, right? I am perplexed and disgusted at the lengths these haters will go to remain anonymous in order to bash others. How sad. But also, while it’s incredibly hard and nearly impossible to understand the why, the only reason people do this is due to their insecurities and unhappiness in their own life. Why else would they feel so compelled to invoke this emotion in someone else? So baffling how people behave on social media. It breaks my heart that someone has consistently done this to you and has taken pieces of your happiness through their pain. I’ve always admired your blog, intentionality with your brand and enjoy following you on Instagram. I pray this individual can find some sliver of happiness and love in something other than tearing people down. Don’t forget this individual’s struggle and jealousy is the reason she’s tearing you down. I can only imagine how hard it is to read, but you have tons of supporters who see and know the positivity you exude. Prayers that God continues to bring favor, positivity and success in your career! You’re doing great!
I really enjoy reading your blog. I look forward to reading it every morning!
I just never understood internet trolls and why they are so mean. It’s not necessary and says a lot more about their character than your content. Keep your head held high! Your doing wonderful things!
Hey Carly!
I don’t have a blog, but like you, I’ve dealt with people saying hateful things about me for almost as long as I can remember.
This may sound cheesy, but I’m a huge Taylor Swift fan and recently went to her Reputation concert here in NY/NJ. She talked a lot about how she took a break from music for a year because she felt that the national conversation about her reputation didn’t match the idea she had for herself. Once she was able to get the anger and sadness of her chest in the album, she realized that the ugly narrative about her wasn’t really about her at all, but about the other person.
That’s what I’ve often thought as well. Ever since high school at least I can remember people saying terrible things about me that I knew didn’t match the idea I have of myself. As you say, sometimes comments are constructive, and I’ve tried to work on them. Other times, it’s just spiteful. I’ve had to realize that I can’t possibly make everyone happy. Which is hard for me because I’m a people pleaser!
The best thing is to surround yourself with honest people who love you and can tell you the truth. I know you have that and hope you always continue to!
Maybe the best quote I’ve ever heard is “People literally hate Beyonce. Once you realize that, you will know you could be ‘perfect’ but still not please everyone.”
Thank you so much for sharing this post. I applaud you so much for taking care of your mental health and hope your readers can see the importance of being kind to one another. Your blog has inspired me so much and I want you to be able to continue to be a beacon of inspiration and insightfulness.
That’s insane that someone is that petty to be mean to someone like that! Good for you for staying he course and dealing with it in a mature manner
Probably some jealous petty individual who for some crazy reason has a gripe about you that really doesn’t make any sense
So sorry you have to deal with this garbage
Love you blog and insta
Keep it up!!!
Girl, I’ve been following you for ages. I’m not a commenter and generally don’t read the comments. But, you gotta know that you’re great as you are. I love your content, your Instagram persona and you’re vibe in general. I’m sorry that some sucky person has given you such anxiety but you keeping doing YOU. Much love and wishes for less stress and heartache.
I recently went through something not dissimilar (though on a minute scale) this past weekend and I have to say I so appreciate you sharing the emotional and mental health struggles that are the result because it makes me feel less lonely in managing my own situation. I hope someday that no one bullies in comment sections, but in the mean time I hope you’re healing and feeling better and that you know your readers appreciate you!
This is so crazy! Would make a super good episode of catfish though lol. NEV WHERE YOU AT?
Don’t give up Carly. Your blogs,posts, insta stories brings so much joy to my life on the daily! I would hate to see you go. You are stronger then what this person can ever say about you. Please keep going!
You’re very savvy and obviously have explored this, but I’m wondering why she can’t be blocked if it’s from the same IP address? That should be fairly straight forward. Love that you share the perils of the online life, it’s not all roses and new outfits!
I am so sorry to hear how horrible you’ve been feeling. I love your content and think you’re fabulous. Keep doing you, lady!
So sorry you had to deal with! I read your blog every day and love it. Thanks for the tip about leaving comments. I did not realize! Continued success to you.
Are they taking any action on contacting this one person? I had a very similar situation to where it was two girls bullying and the police got involved 😢💕. It ended to where I just took a break for a year! But considering all I went through it actually made me a stronger more confident person.
So glad you shared this! I have one person who’s been harassing me anonymously for years. Most days I can brush it off but every once and a while I allow myself to go down the rabbit hole of overthinking it — I’m glad you aren’t giving up!!
As a 36 year old woman that was bullied by my manager for more than a year, my heart bleeds for you.
Looking back, it’s hard to believe that one insignificant person impacted my life in such a significant way. But it did.
Your mental health is priority number one! Protect it above anything else. Don’t stop blogging, we’ll miss you too much. But please, NEVER read an unmoderated comment again. And remember, nobody’s ever met a hater doing better than them. Reach out if you feel the need, cause empowered women empower women.
Love and light, Sweets. x
I have been reading your blog for a few years now and I am not one to usually comment but I felt like I had to after this post. What a crummy person to harass you like that. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. When I was in 5th grade, another girl started a “Shannon hater club” – people can be so awful. What goes around comes around though and you spread so much light for all of your readers. You keep doing you and know that you have such a positive impact on so many people.
This absolutely breaks my heart. I have been reading your blog since the NYC days and have always enjoyed your point of view. It sounds like this person is a bit obsessed with you – scary and also so unhealthy on their part. Please don’t let them change you. I think you have developed a great community of people that are here to support you and encourage you. Thanks for sharing this post and letting us know what you have been battling. We can be the Carly Army and have your back!
I’ve been following along for years and I love your blog, IG and now YouTube. Sending love ❤️
Hi Carly,
I started reading your blog about 3 years ago when I was searching for blogs for my highschool daughter to read. I love how you talk about real issues like anxiety, meeting new friends as an adult, etc. You seem very real and grounded and I love your blogs. As for people who are rude and hurtful, don’t give them the power to ruin your day or keep you from being a fabulous blogger. Be true to yourself and ignore the ones who doesn’t support you in your journey.
Thanks,
Suzanne
Keep up the good work, Carly!
It was so sad to read your post. As a mom of two girls, this type of harassment should not be allowed to happen. One person who has nothing better to do but to be anonymously mean via a computer is just wrong. It says a lot more about the person she truly is. You have the right response and are very graceful about it. I am just sorry you have to even deal with this.
Sending love, Carly ! You have an amazing blog . Please don’t let people discourage you from pursuing your passion!
Hi Carly! Thanks for this post. It’s great to hear all of these words. I think people often times forget that bloggers and Influencers are real people who have real feelings! I’m sorry you have to deal with this type of behavior and I’m sorry someone is so insecure in themselves they feel the need to bully or harass other people (especially when said person is hiding behind a computer). Way back when in jr high I had a xanga page that one of my classmates left a mean comment on and I still remember that feeling. I can only imagine dealing with that over an extended amount of time. I’m happy to hear you aren’t quitting blogging yet. If that day comes, I hope it’s for some amazing opportunity for you to grow personally or professionally and I hope it’s on your own terms not because you feel like it’s the only way to stay happy and healthy! I’ve been following along since your college days and just want to say how much I admire you and how wonderful you really are!
xo
Amanda
Please know you are so, so appreciated. It’s really a shame that some people thrive off of negativity and jealous comments. Overall, it sounds like you handle it quite well but of course the accumulation of them would get to anybody. Mental health is priority number one! While I can only speak for myself, I know I’m not alone in saying that I will follow your blog regardless of whether comments are on or how often you post. Thank you for all the beautiful things you share with all of us!
Carly,
I am so shocked and upset about this post. I’ve been reading your blog for years now and have always been a huge fan of your voice, style, and upbeat-ness (is that even a word lol) your blog is what helped me find my style and love for social media and blogging! I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with mean commenters. You don’t deserve that at all. Don’t stop writing! We all love you!
A whole website with an unhealthy amount of Carly hating? Don’t these people gave anything better to do with their time? I’m sorry you are going through this, but happy you have a great support system. And thank you for sharing about the bank reserves of efffs. I will be using that! 😂🙌🏼
Hi Carly!! I’ve been following your blog for awhile now and it always makes me smile. Your genuine advice and style is so encouraging and enjoyable to read. In a world full of brokenness, you’re a ray of sunshine. The negative comments have no place on your blog, and I hope truly they stop. Keep doing you and letting your light shine.
I am so glad that you are willing to address this so openly. I greatly enjoy reading your blog posts, and you have such an amazing writing perspective! I hate that these things happen, but it is so good that you are talking about it! Thank you!
So sad to hear that this has been happening to you. Been a reader for years and never commented (sorry). Thank you for your courage and willingness to share yourself with us!! We love it.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with this, Carly! Thank you for your honesty- I’m sure this helped a lot of girls going through similar issues both online and off. We all appreciate your work and wish you the absolute best! 💕
What a world. Just so sad to hear this. Keep on keeping on and ignore the haters.
Carly, I’ve been a faithful reader for nearly 9 years and I’ve loved getting to feel like we’ve “become grown-ups together.” One of the things I’ve always appreciated about you is that you don’t just share the pretty, happy stuff and occasionally thoughtfully share troubles; it makes you real and makes your blog relatable. Keep being you and don’t let the bad ones get you down.
Hi Carly,
So sad to read that this is something you are going through. It’s a real shame that people feel the need to attack others over the internet, and I hope this individual soon finds light with whatever personal issue they must be coping with.
I admire your blog and think you create very helpful, relatable and interesting content! I adore your elegant and classy aesthetic—everything is so polished! I know it must be hard upkeep, but please know that you have many followers who love watching what you do and look forward to sharing your journey!
Not many of us have to deal with that type of harassment in our profession. You’re AWESOME and I always look forward to your posts and honesty 💞💞💞
Hi Carly,
MLK said it best: I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
Thank you for sharing and sticking with love. I cannot speak for that mean person, but I’m sure I speak for most of your readers when I say we all love you and appreciate your work!
Carly,
I recently came across your blog and I just want to say I enjoy reading it and seeing al the pictures you post! Keep it up. I’m so sorry that some people can be so hateful.
I am so sorry that you have been going through this Carly. I have always loved your content and you seem like such an incredibly genuine person xoxo
Carly-You are doing a great job! You come across as a very real and honest person. I enjoy reading and listening to your content, keep it up!
Carly,
I’ve followed your insta for a long time and read your blog off and on for a long time too, I’m so sorry to hear someone has spent so much energy/time/karma? harassing you like this. Your blog registers as the most authentic and personable I see online. Don’t let the haters get you down, or something like that! Anyways, wishing you the best and all the happiness.
Xx,
Emma
💕
Hi Carly,
My heart breaks for what you have been going through. I’ve been reading your blog consistently for several years, and its always the first one I check when I open up my computer. I know the feeling of being harassed and cyber bullied – in college, I was in an abusive relationship and when I got out of it, I decided to start blogging about what I went through so that my community of friends and family would know without me having to tell everyone face to face. I remember all the wonderful, delightful comments lifting me up every day, but then getting horrendous ones from friends of my abuser who found it entertaining to blame me for being abused. I know how devastating that continuous cruelty can be, no matter how hard you try to brush it off and look on the bright side. I admire your courage to speak about this, and am sending you love and hope for a kinder future.
Best wishes,
Noelle
You’re awesome Carly. What a raw and yet beautiful post. Never have commented before because I’m a causal reader, and perhaps more honestly just lazy, but applaud your bravery to find and sustain success in this business. Continue your meditation practice. It will continue to help you quiet the bullies (and are ultimately just confused and/or jealous). Believe in yourself and especially your intentions, knowing that you are making a positive difference in the lives of many. Because you are!
That’s so sad! I love your content! do whatever you gotta do to stay sane- we’ll still be here ❤️
Carly-as another mom reader of your blog I must say my heart hurts for what you have been through. Good for you in doing what you did. That person does not need a forum for their hate and insecurities. Wishing you all the best. Your blog posts are the highlight of my evenings!
Carly- you’re a darling and incredible person who has done nothing to deserve this harassment. Whoever is doing this isn’t worth one minute of worry or anxiety…which is easier said than done. Kudos for having the courage to take a break from comments. Your blog is a bright light in a world that needs it.
I just cannot understand or fathom why someone can a) say such hurtful things directly to that person and b) do it so incessantly that they have basically dedicated their lives to it. Especially to someone who in no way posts anything controversial or offensive to any group. If that person is reading this, please just move on with your life and channel that anger into something at least meaningful instead of hurting innocent people!
Carly – stay strong! I know it can be hard to drown out the negative voices amongst the sea of positive ones but you help and inspire so many people so don’t give up!
P.S. I never comment, but I shall promise to be more engaged as I do read every post!
Hi Carly,
I have been following your blog for a couple years now, but it’s my first time commenting. I like how you always stay true to yourself. Thank you for speaking up. You are a source of inspiration.
Hi there! Thanks for being so transparent. I have personally dealt with bullying & harassment (in the workplace) and it’s HARD to not let anxiety or fear take over.
I think you handled the situation wisely and I’m glad you were able to give yourself a break. I really enjoy reading your posts/blogs! I’ll try to post more in response to bloggers in general as you suggested. Hang in there, girl! 🙂
we love you carly!!!! take all the time you need— i’ve been following your blog since 2014, not stopping anytime soon ❤️
Wow. So sorry you’ve been going thru that. Just want to let you know that I love your blog & Instagram page!
Carly,
After reading the previous comments posted, I’m one of many who are appreciative of you for sharing this story. Quite honestly, most of my interaction from your blog comes from your Instagram account, so I don’t often think about comments related to your physical blog. You’ve really changed my perspective, though. I find myself avidly reading your posts and watching your stories which is unlike many of the other bloggers I follow. Not only do I enjoy your content, but I find you relatable. If there is a silver lining to this experience, you’ve at the very least earned some more active followers. As for your harasser, I hope your lawyer helps you further navigate all possible avenues.
xo
Dear Carly,
I have been following you for some time now and it’s sad to hear that someone would have that much energy to be rude and mean to another person for such a long time. I’s amazing that you are so open about this and you use your public position to make more awareness of the issue of online bullying.
So glad you’re talking it out with people you love rather than hurting by yourself. So many of us feel like you’re our best gal pal, myself included. It breaks my heart that this person is so screwed up in their heart that they’ve continued to go after you for so long. Cheers to you & your honesty & for allowing yourself the space to protect your heart. Sending love your way and positivity the mean person’s way that their life will turn around. (Or that they’ll lose access to the internet… one or the other 🙂 xoxo
Dear Carly,
first of all, I´m sorry for the situation you have experienced. Sadly you don´t need to be exposed on social media to get that kind of harassment. There are people out there that have mental/spiritual issues, and instead of fixing them, they try to make the rest of the world feel the same nightmare they have inside. It has nothing to do with you, that´s why you can´t do anything about it.
So take your time, do what you really think is best for you, but in my humble opinnion it would be a same if you stop doing something that you (and a lot of people, me included) enjoy becouse of a mean person.
Best whises Carly!
P.D: Sorry for my grammar.
Admittedly I’m one of the 99% of people that ready your blog but don’t comment. Heck most of the time I don’t read the comments either. But I’m so sorry that someone pushed you so hard it made you feel like giving up your blog and who you are was the only answer. Honestly it’s pretty sad and pathetic that one person would put so much effort into trying to tear you down. Society seems to think that the only way to build yourself up is to push others down, things are changing but there are a lot of people who believe for them to “win” other people have to “lose”. It’s disheartening and upsetting that someone has been doing this to you.
Please know, and I’m sure it’s echoed by most if not all of the commenters here than none of us want to do anything other than support you. Thank you for being so honest and open with your readers, you don’t have to share your life but you choose to, and I’m certainly greatful that you do!
I have the same thing with my social media and blog! I’ve have this ONE person blocked everywhere I can, but she still will make new usernames on social media, use different emails and IPs. It’s been 5 years….how can she not be bored?! How does she have time?! People are incredible (in them most horrible ways). xoxo
Wow! It’s interesting to see the steps you’ve been through on the practical side, since it’s easy for us to only see the polished and pretty side. Unbelievable that someone would take the time… or even be hateful without feeling poorly about it! But the rest of us are interested in you, your life, your approach, what’s working for you, etc. and we’d miss you. Stay tough – though it’s tiring. Have a GREAT DAY!!
Hi Carley!!
I have been reading your blog for like 7 or 8 years and just want to say you create genuine, interesting, smart, needed content on your blog. This person who is posting these hateful comments obviously has some personal issues they are taking out on you which is unfair — no one deserves to be talked to like that and I think it’s really brave you wrote this post.
Here’s to many more years of success for you and hoping this person can move on and do some soul searching!
Keep up the great work! 🙂
xx,
Katie
This is so sad to hear, and you are so brave to share this with us. It’s very difficult to imagine that someone takes their happiness from leaving those comments and by trying to pull someone down.
I join the others that I just want to remind you that I love your blog and love how honest, simple yet so chic your style is.
Marianna
Have never commented before today but I just wanted to say I can’t believe someone would do that. I love reading your blog and many others do too, just keep doing you and “shake it off”! ❤️
It sucks that people are so mean and petty. I envy your success but it motivates me and I know you’ve worked hard! No one deserves to be harassed! I’m sorry you are dealing with this. Know that there are so many of us who support you! Blessings
I’m so sorry! Words can’t express how reading this pains me. Keep doing what you’re doing because the rest of us love you and want to see you succeed ❤️
I’ve been reading your blog for about 8 years (after college years) and the main reason I love to read your blog is because I sense that you are a genuine person. Your blog for me has a meaningful purpose and I would dislike it if you stopped blogging. Keep doin you, girl! Sending hugs your way!
Wow, Carly, you are so strong! I know exactly what you mean and have gone through. I have had my share of harassing comments on my blog or sometimes on social media, but to have the same person consistently hating on me for a year? I don’t know how you did it and I’m glad that you’re doing something about it for your own well being.
It seriously sucks that these TROLLS, because that’s the best way to call them, can really have that negative impact to where it makes you not want to write. And that is exactly what they want, but we shouldn’t give into that because you have a voice that needs to be heard.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and know that you are not alone because I’ve been there and I know how hard it is. I was shocked to see you have around 200+ comments already and those are the people who love you and matter.
Keep your head up girlie and keep on writing!!!
“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles – it takes away today’s joy!” (This is my mom’s version). Knowing you for most of your lifetime and watching you go from an adorably creative young girl in grade school to the incredibly talented and genuinely kind young woman you are today makes my heart so full and happy for YOU!!!
That “one person” who strikes at you with negativity is only showing their true character. {whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you}. “Bullying is not a reflection of the victim’s character, yet rather a sign of the bully’s lack of character”.
You’ve created an amazing social media community where you choose to publicly share so much of your daily life. You’ve taught this old writing teacher a few things through your blog. You’ve shared wonderful places (I must make my way to Nantucket!), interesting people you’ve met, places you’ve visited and books you’ve read – I might not have ever thought to pick up many of the titles you’ve suggested. One of my favorites is The Gratitude Diaries. I just ordered several of Maxie’s new books to give to friends and family.
I always look forward to what you have to share – keep writing, Carly!!!
Sorry to hear you’re dealing with this! I love reading your blog and I think you have a great style and voice. I hope this continues to be life-giving for you!
So grateful for your honesty. Please keep posting!
that is horrible to hear! I support whatever your decide to do and you are in my prayers.
This brought water to my eyes! So sad that has been happening. I have been following you for many years now and so enjoy your blog, instagram and youtube. I pray that this negativity stops and soon. Stay strong!
Your blog is great. This post reminds me of a this American Life story about a troll on Jezebel. That person eventually learned. This person just learned they were never really anonymous. Hope it stops. Good idea to use a moderator.
Hi Carly- I “found” your blog thru that awful website you mentioned – didn’t get the hate at all but it was the AMA you did on Reddit that I thought was ridiculously brave and also really interesting. Since then I’ve enjoyed reading how you navigate and share your life thru your blog/IG. Wish you all the best and seeing what you do next!
Carly,
I am so sorry this has happened to you, that people can sink so low as to think that is an acceptable form of behavior in any context. As I am sure your family and friends have reassured you – that you are loved and appreciated no matter what you do, blogging or not – I want you to know that I and so many other people here appreciate you too. That it makes my day whenever a post from you comes up on my feed.
Thank you for sharing this! I just started my own blog, so I’m not yet close to dealing with this. However, I do manage social media for a fast-growing company and I get blown away by the nerve of some people. So I know it can be hard sometime to take a step back but do take care of yourself!
Hi Carly. I just wanted to say that I LOVE your blog and everything about it. Hearing about the products you use and random lifestyle tips is so interesting and generally just FUN to keep up with! I just wanted to remind you that there are SO many people out there (myself included) who love your drive for blogging and really appreciate all the work you put into it. I know it’s hard sometimes because there are some really cruel people out there. But don’t give up because of one person’s silly (and honestly crazy) opinion. Keep doing the things you love! I hope you are able to find a way to stop this harassment because it’s seriously so wrong!! YOU CAN DO THIS! <3
I have been following your blog, I think since the beginning and I am so sorry you have been going through this. I have been cyberstalked/harassed on multiple occasions by old friends / bfs when we had a falling out and im so sorry you had to go through it. wishing you peace.
Carly,
Your blog has been a source of joy and inspiration that has helped me through college, my first “adult” job, and now nursing school. Although I have never commented in that span of time, I would just like to let you know that your posts about anxiety and mental health have encouraged me to begin my own journey.
I cannot imagine the stress that you have been experiencing from this situation and I really do hope that things improve. Stay strong. The comments made by this individual say everything about who they are, and their insecurities, and absolutely nothing about you.
Hello Carly!
I don’t comment often, but have been following your blog for years. As someone that deals with anxiety, I understand the struggle and would like you to know you are supported.
Beth
Carly, I am so sorry you have been dealing with this! I really enjoy your blog- keep at it. You’re amazing! 🙂
I’m sorry people can be A-holes, but don’t let them get you down, and just keep doing you.
Thank you for sharing this! Mommyshorts just posted a similar caption on an Instagram post. When I read anything a blogger or a friend on fb posts, if I agree sometimes I’ll comment, if I don’t, I just keep scrolling on. No one will LOVE everything anyone else does. And I think that’s okay! Your positivity is contagious, I can’t imagine how difficult it is to keep this up but, please do!
Carly, thanks so much for this post (and for all your posts — first time commenter)! I’m going through an entirely different, but equally draining/defeating situation at my work place. The good thing about going through a challenging time, is it makes you a stronger person to the core. It was a very womanly decision for you to take a step back, take a breath, and sort it out. Your’e a lovely person inside and out. I feel sorry for the broken person who feels they have to harass you on the internet and hope that they find peace.
I will never understand why so many people have to write such mean things in the comments section. I can only assume they must really dislike themselves as I can only see that this is coming from a place of hate. This was such a raw post and I’m so sad to see that you’ve suffered from these people but remember that what they say is not a reflection of you but of themselves.
http://www.thewhimsicalwildling.com/
Dear Carly,
As a budding physician, and a former hoya, I can say it is sad when people are not mentally healthy. I remember people being mean and used to think- don’t they have work to do. It’s sad.
As for you, you don’t deserve abuse. Imagine, people live with spouses and significant others like that. You are awesome. Know who you are. What a learning experience. I am so sorry you have been the target of abuse, so sorry.
Oh Carly, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. For what it’s worth, I’ve been there and all but stopped blogging for a while because it was so upsetting (and I felt like it was easier to step back than try to deal with it head on), so I know how stressful and demoralising this is.
But I always adore your posts and read every single one (I did notice you turned off the comments, but didn’t know this was why) – you’re always one of my favourite reads and I always leave feeling a little more inspired afterwards.
Sending so much love!
Briony xox
I love this blog so much! I have been admiring all your journeys and have appreciated your realness about tough situations. Sorry times are tough right now and thank you for doing what you do.
People like that must have such miserable lives!! I wish we could catfish that person and see who it is …anyways she doesnt need more attention , thats all she wants anyways. Keep doing what youre doing!
It is so sad to see this type of thing happening. I am glad that you found a way around it for now.
Hi Carly.
This is my first time reading your blog and I had to make a comment to show you support. Rather anyone realizes, us bloggers put alot of work into writing. Sharing our lives, hopes and dreams but like you said, “you can’t please everyone”. It’s easy to shrug off the negative comments when everyone else is giving praise but someone taking it to pure harassment is heart-breakening. I suggest looking into blocking the IP address and look further into your cyber-bulling laws. Good luck with everything and don’t let this miserable person stop you from sharing your stories and blogging. Best wishes.
Carly, Way to go!
I am so proud of you. I think the idea to have someone else moderate comments and approve them is a wonderful idea. It is so good for your mental health to keep being you. I am going to start reading Boundries by Dr.’s Henry Cloud and John Townsend and a book about Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud. I really recommend watching the Youtube video by Dr. Guy Wench on Emotional First Aid about rejection and how we process this feeling. Mental Health should be just as common nature to kids as putting on a bandage when they get hurt – paraphrasing him here. All of these authors are doctors of mental health and I highly recommend them!
So sorry to hear this girl was harassing you! I’ve been following along for years and still love everything (I’ve given up on nearly every other blogger I followed along with). Thanks for not shutting the whole thing down! xoxo
I am amazed at your bravery and resilience. Also, feeling really sick about how horrible people can be. I have been reading your blog since you were at Georgetown. I was in my first job post college at that time and loved your blog immediately. You are kind, smart, honest, funny, talented and an overall boss babe. You fiercely support other women and just put so much kindness out onto the internet and the world and for that, I’ve been a faithful reader. We live in a time where bullies are sadly glamorized from every section of society. What you do here on this blog and on your social channels every day is a wonderful thing. It is a unique and beautiful thing. You are extremely talented and I believe have a gift. I so admire you sharing about this and turning a light on this topic. Please don’t stop creating, dreaming and innovating! I personally look forward to seeing what heights you’ll reach. The world needs more people like you, dear one. Press on.
Hugs from a grateful reader in Oregon. 🙂
You are amazing. Enough said.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this Carly! I often read your blog, but am not usually one to comment. It truly baffles me that one person would spend so much time leaving hateful comments. So glad you have taken some time for yourself! I truly enjoy your content
Carly,
I’ve been reading you for years. You actually inspired me to start my own blog. However, I have gotten away from writing recently. But I just wanted to say, keep doing you! We can all tell how genuine you are and I am so sad that this horrible person has had such a terrible effect on your mental health. Keep being who you are, becasue you’ve been such an inspiration to many, many people! (260 comments as I’m writing this!)
I’m so sorry to hear that something like this was happening to you. No one deserves to feel like a safe space they created to write and let their feeling out, was no longer safe. I don’t understand what kind of person goes out of their way to write hurtful comments that they would never in a million years say to your face. This person is wasting so much time and energy into purposely making you feel bad! Either way, I’m glad to hear that you opened up the comments again 🙂 xx
Melina | http://www.melinaelisa.com
As a long time reader, and one of your many, many supporters, all I want to say is thank you for your honesty and I’m sorry that you or anyone has to deal with harassment and bullying. Sending 💕
Carly, you bring so much joy to so many people! Don’t let the haters get you down. They aren’t worth it. That person sitting in their apartment commenting hateful things doesn’t deserve to see you give up. Then, they win. Keep doing what you’re doing. The people that adore you, have you back! <3
Oh my god- this really saddens me to read (and yes I’m late but life has gotten in the way of reading my favorite blogs).
Much like your break up post last year, this really resonates with me.
You truly are inspiring to so many people and have helped me get through so many things in life.
Xoxo
Carly,
I have watched a few of your YouTube videos and read several of your blogs. I am disappointed that another human would put forth energy in tearing you down. Thank you for being transparent.
Hi Carly! I’m a longtime ‘lurker’ – mostly on IG – and now your blog. Think I first discovered you via another blogger, can’t recall exactly how. 😉 I stumbled across this old post and am compelled to share that your content gives me a lot of joy, inspires me creatively, and motivates me to do more in my own life. I’m truly sorry you’ve become the target of this kind of harassment, causing you to question yourself. It’s unfair. I just hope you know that so many people get a lot of positive energy out of your work. The one person who is putting out all this negativity is a sad, sad person. (And frankly all internet trolls fall in that camp.) Anyway, keep up the good work and thank you! xx Anne
Carly~Rereading this post reminds me of the effort and sincerity you put into your blog everyday! I thoroughly enjoy it, and hope that the voices of those that do are always the loudest and clearest!
Hi Carly!
Just wanted to say, you’re doing a good job. I’m sorry that the person, whoever they are, has been obsessively trolling you. I’ve been reading your blog for years – like, late 2009ish? Geez, almost 10yrs. This is the first time I’ve posted.
I came upon your blog when I was a sophomore in college. I was a transfer student and was having trouble making friends. Your blog became some place I could go to when I missed my friends from back home (Washington DC). I appreciated that you were driven and focused but also positive and family was important to you. Your organization tips and school-related posts gave me courage. It made me think about how if you could do it all – classes at Georgetown, early morning rowing seshes, your blog (and have time to do those drawings of your outfits!) – then I could get through all of my commitments and rock them too.
Over the years, I’ve continued to read your blog. You and LoveTaza are the only two I consistently come back to. The reason I keep coming back to yours is because I appreciate how upfront you are about things. You’re vulnerable and state things as they are. It’s refreshing. You also seem to only post things that you know you can speak to and support. You post relatable and relevant content. You don’t just post to fill up space. It seems genuine. That’s also refreshing. I also like how the posts are varied and that you promote other bloggers, books, artists, etc. Your weekly review is always fun and I usually find something that I want to read further. Finally, you’ve allowed your blog to mature and grow with you, which keeps the information relevant and interesting.
That’s it. Sorry this is so long and delayed, I’m not even sure you’ll see it. But I felt compelled to reply after I came upon this post when I was reading your goals for 2019.
I just wanted you to know that you’re doing a lot right. That’s why you have the large and committed readership that you do. And that’s why I keep coming back.
Thank you for all that you do. It’s truly a pleasure to read your blog. Your hard work, dedication, and commitment to it and your readers is really apparent. I sincerely look forward to continuing to read you in the years to come.
Hi Carly! Its very brave of you to talk about this openly and honestly. This is actually the first time I’m commenting because this topic warrants more open discussion. People can be critical all they want but there’s really no need for meanness (except maybe their own insecurities or jealousy?). On a separate note, I really like most, if not all of your outfits. White looks especially nice on you. Keep up the good work!