I was just on the phone with my mom (haha, nailed it Maxie) and was wondering out loud how in the world I became an adult! It happened without even realizing it. And it doesn’t feel like how I thought it would feel like. As a kid I had a clear idea of what being a grown up would feel like and entail. Except it doesn’t totally end up panning out that way. I completely related to this guest post from Maxie.
5 Lies You Believed About ‘Being a Grown Up’
Guest post by Maxie McCoy
Every day that I do something semi-adult alike, I think to myself does this mean I’m a grown up? Anything from buying a carpet runner to working on my health insurance benefits can trigger the feeling. It’s funny, adulthood seems to creep up on you without even realizing it. And, if you’re not someone who has checked off the “adulthood” list of qualification we all conjure up as children (marriage, babies, car, house, fence, pets), it’s easy to forget you’re actually totally grown up even without those things.
As someone who is a verified grown up on the late side of the twenties decade, there’s so many things I realized were total lies about adulthood. It turns out, being an adult doesn’t mean you’ll have it all figured out. Anything but, actually. And that’s OK.
What matters is knowing that the lies you believed about being grown up are all wrong. The earlier you realize the truth, the better off you’ll be. Adult’s honor.
Your Schooling Determines Your Success
I was obsessed with class growing up. From my IB program in high school to my degrees in college, I was consumed. And while I would work just as hard all over again to get where I am, it’s not the stamp on a paper that ultimately determines how well you do in life. Even if you get that one bad grade or you don’t get into the perfect school, it will be totally okay. Schooling is only a piece of the picture. It’s what you do with that experience, the people you meet and the work ethic you create that will dictate your success. A school, degree, or grade doesn’t define you unless you let it.
You’ll Stop That Bad Habit
Just because you grow up doesn’t mean you’ll automatically stop shopping or twirling your hair or saying um or have better posture. Bad habits are only broken if you put in the work to change them. Believing that time will be the answer to breaking that habit when you’re all grown up is just a lie we all believe for some reason. If there’s something you want to stop doing, begin working on it now… adulthood won’t magically fix it.
You’ll be Friends Forever
I had all the BFF bracelets and necklaces and friendship bracelets too. I loved my friends and just knew we’d be friends for life. If I had known that not all friendships are made for life, it would have been way easier to handle when life got in between me and some of my closest friends. If you’ve broken off friendships or they naturally dissolved, know that it’s a natural part of growing up. Don’t blame yourself or feel crappy about it. People like this will be some of the most important gifts of life. And some of those you will stay besties with forever. Some friends you won’t. Whatever happens, know it’s a normal part of growing up.
Achieving Goals Will Make You Happy
If there’s one thing you take away from this post, take away this: success won’t make you happy. Whether it’s getting into the perfect school, landing the dream internship, falling in love with the perfect boy or girl. Goals are an amazing thing to have, but when you achieve them it won’t promise fulfillment. The only way to control your joy is from the inside out. So set those goals high, go after them, make your dreams a reality, but know that as happy as you choose to be today, will be how happy you are then.
You Won’t Need Your Parents as Much
Quite the contrary, often your parents will become ever more special and important to you than they ever did as kids. You’ll realize this amazing gift of life and upbringing that they gave you. You’ll see their imperfections and understand them better. And many times you’ll need them more than ever. Calling home about which medicine is best for muscle aches to what which benefits plan you pick from your employer to needing someone to remind you again if aluminum will blow up in the microwave… Love and appreciate your parents as much as you can right now, because as you get older so do they.
Growing up is a magical experience. Your path there will be even better if you see adulthood for what it is and learn from the hard lessons those older than you have already done. Next time you’re around someone a bit older than you, ask them… “what do you wish you had known at my age?” and likely they’ll share some valuable insights of the things they realized didn’t matter or weren’t true.
xoxo
I always feel like I'm pushed into the grownup world whenever I'm forced to fill out official forms. That stuff is scary. / The fact that my friends and I might not be friends forever is probably the toughest for me to come to terms with out of this list! -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey's
I so agree Audrey! It's probably the hardest one to experience.
As always, Maxie nailed it. This post really speaks to me as I am transitioning from college to the "real world" in just TWO short months!
You're the best 🙂
This is so so true. Especially the last one, for me. I thought when I went off to college I would be totally independent from my parents. Turns out, even after college, I need them so much. Even if it's just for a quick chat about life, or if I need some serious advice, I'm continually thankful for the supportive and amazing parents that I have. There's no time like the present to appreciate those we love.
Sweet Horizon
I really appreciate that as I got older I was able to recognize my parents more. It was definitely a perk of growing up!
Kari
http://www.sweetteasweetie.com
Kari – SAME. I'm so so grateful for those relationships with my family.
Great article! I thought I would have an amazing wardrobe when I got older and would look really polished and put together.
-Meg
http://www.smalltownsisters.blogspot.com
The Friends Forever myth is extremely important. I personally held on to friendship ONLY since we had been friends for so long. It took a very firm "no" on my end to know that I did NOT want to have anything to do with an old "friend's wedding" as we were not even friends anymore. I haven't even met her future husband.
It does not mean they are a bad person, it just means our interests have changed, lives have parted ways and that is okay.
Also I later found out this old friend had 14 brides maids. See she is just fine and doing well without me there as an extra body. It all works out in the end. 😀
The Friends Forever myth is extremely important. I personally held on to friendship ONLY since we had been friends for so long. It took a very firm "no" on my end to know that I did NOT want to have anything to do with an old "friend's wedding" as we were not even friends anymore. I haven't even met her future husband.
It does not mean they are a bad person, it just means our interests have changed, lives have parted ways and that is okay.
Also I later found out this old friend had 14 brides maids. See she is just fine and doing well without me there as an extra body. It all works out in the end. 😀
I love this! As someone who is married, has two kids and has made some great stride in my career this past year, I must say that it is crazy thinking that I am actually an adult. It's bizarre, really. I think, like, wow, this must be somewhat what my mom's life was like when she was my age. And it's a strange, strange feeling to think my mom was kind of like me at one point. Just over 30 with kids and a job but still probably wondering how everything was going to work out. Great post!
Nail hit on the head with all of the above.
Anecdote: I never realized just how much I needed my mother until I became one myself. I think I need her more than ever before!
What a great guest post, definitely agree with all of this!!
xo, Syd
anchoredinthesouth.com
In the past week, my brother and I have called our mom with various ridiculous questions, including "what size shirt do I wear" and "are these leftovers safe to eat" and "what do I need to bring with me to the closing of our new house". We are in our early 30s. You never stop needing your parents.