I think the title of the magazine (and this post) pretty much sums up how I’m feeling right now.
The sweet part? The latest issue of Sweet Lemon Magazine launched today!!!
But, I have an announcement to make and it’s one that I have spent a really long time deliberating over. And it’s one that I’m struggling to really capture into words. (This would be the lemon part.)
I’m moving on from Sweet Lemon. The #LemonLove issue will be my last one.
I came up with the idea for a digital magazine featuring (and written by) twenty-somethings June of 2011. I knew that this was something that people would want to read because it was something that I would want to read.
Working on the magazine was absolutely the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The biggest group project I worked on at school only lasted a semester. This took group projects to an entirely new level. I wore a million hats between managing the teams, dealing with crisises, and working through an absolutely overflowing inbox. This was all while I was finishing up my final year at Georgetown and ultimately while I tried to balance my life while working in Manhattan.
I thought I could do it, but in reality I was stretched way too thin. Also, I found myself really not enjoying what I was doing. Maybe it was a combination of constantly feeling overwhelmed and doing tasks that really weren’t my personal strengths. Launching a new issue was always stressful, and always amazing.
Hearing from readers. Working on fun features. Watching readers and writers connecting online (and offline). Meeting new people. It was amazing. It is amazing.
Right now, however, it’s not the right thing for me to be doing. I am living my dreams (quite literally) in New York City. My job is incredible and I really enjoy blogging… plus my side projects always keep me more than busy.
As the magazine grew, I fell more and more out of love with it. Here I am advocating “living your dreams” and I was actually not doing everything I could to be living mine. By doing something that I didn’t completely love, I was taking away time from enjoying life and my other priorities.
If I’m going to be honest, I held off leaving the magazine for selfish reasons. The SLM team is fully capable of running the magazine without me. So that isn’t the issue. I was afraid of having to tell people that I wasn’t involved. I liked being able to say that I founded a digital magazine. Essentially, I was lying to myself to fulfill this desire to “have it all.”
So while I won’t be on the SLM staff, I will always be rooting for its success.
The past 18 months have been wonderful. The friends I’ve met and what I’ve learned about myself along the way are things I wouldn’t trade for the world.
I hope this makes sense and I hope you understand. It’s not something I’ve taken lightly and I admit that it’s something I’ve completely done for myselfˆ, but it was something I realized I truly needed to do.
xoxo
I'm so sad to see you leave the magazine however I completely understand, I am consistently stretching myself too thin and sometimes it is best to have fewer projects and be able to devote yourself to those projects whole heartedly.
Good for you for being able to evaluate what makes sense for you. xo
I think it's amazing that you've been able to step back and make a decision that's right for YOU! You've accomplished so much with Sweet Lemon, and you've set the ball rolling for its future success! You're such an inspiration Carly; I don't think any of us readers can ever truly fathom how you manage to be so amazing at so many things all at the same time!!!
c
#thatawkwardmomentwhen copy and paste doesn't work in your favor… What I meant to say: It's a big step to be able to say no to something because you know you have too much on your plate. Life can't be all work, there has to be some play. I am looking forward to what you have in store next, Carly!!
This made me tear up!
SLM is a wonderful thing to be proud of, Carly, and I seriously love every single issue. You created an incredible magazine and you did a great job with it. Don't be worried about people not understanding why you had to leave, it's a 100% real and true reason and it's definitely understandable, I don't blame you!
SLM is amazing and you should be proud 🙂 You're such an inspiration, Carly!
-Briana 🙂
royallypink.blogspot.com
It takes a brave person to start a new venture, but an even braver one to know when it's time to step away. You clearly have both in spades. What a treasure that you were part of Sweet Lemon Mag in its very beginning and how special that you'll get to continue to watch it grow and evolve while taking on new adventures of your own. Best wishes to you in this new chapter!
Congratulations, Carly!
I very much know how you feel- I recently stepped away from something that was a HUGE part of my life for seven years. But in the end, it has absolutely been the best for me personally.
Best wishes for your happiest life possible!
KK
It takes a very strong person to understand when it's time to walk away. Thank you for a wonderful and honest post, it inspired me to realistically look at my life and reevaluate certain things. As usual, you hit the idea right on the head. Cheers!
This might have been my favorite post of yours ever, it takes a lot of strength and honesty to write and do what you just did. But no matter if you leave the magazine, we will all remember who started it:) I can't wait to see what other big things you are going to do with your life,and all your other dreams that you'll fill!
-Anna
http://www.steppingintoprep.blogspot.com
It's so hard to figure out what you really want, and even harder to act on it. Good for you for doing what you know is right!
As hard as it is do something, I think it is often harder to step back and NOT do something because of the reasons you gave; so good for you! You will still always be the co-founder and the person who built such a capable team that they can run it by themselves, and that is something to be extremely proud of.