Sometimes I think that after blogging for (almost) ten years, there are very few things about myself that can’t be Googled. This is so dumb, but I legitimately Google myself probably once a week to pull up a specific photo or to remember exactly when something happened or what the name of that one restaurant I went to in that one city was called. So much of my life is… documented. For better or for worse. I’m just glad that I only started my blog when I was 19 and not when I was a pre-teen or teen or whatever. Because that would have been a nightmare. (Although, I have to admit that I am tempted every so often to wipe my blog clean pre-25 because that was pretty touch-and-go there.)
But while I’ve probably touched on some of these things here and there, maybe in an Instagram Story or in a quick sentence on my blog, I haven’t committed to fully documenting it. (I think, at least, again after 10 years of daily blog posts you just never can be too sure.)
I’m an INTJ. Which is the most annoying thing to admit, I know, but it’s true. I’ve taken the Meyers Briggs test probably eight times as an adult and I have never deviated from this.
When people meet me, they’re often surprised that I’m an introvert because I can be quite animated when I start talking. I (surprisingly) have no issue public speaking, but I find any kind of appearance in public draining. It doesn’t matter if I’m going out with friends for brunch or attending a giant networking event. It zaps my energy.
I can be very rigid with doing things “my way” (awful to admit, but it’s true) and I can often be unforgiving when other people make mistakes when they could have easily (in my opinion, lol) been avoided. (Again, not my best quality, ha.)
While this is how I would be in a vacuum, I will say that knowing that I’m like this has really helped me address some of the personality traits that might not be perceived well in a social sense.
I have met two other INTJs (my boyfriend’s brother and I are essentially EXACTLY the same person and one of my sister’s roommates from college) and it’s an instant bond. 😂We like the same books, belief in the same principals, have the same communication style (i.e. ridiculously direct).
I have two different love languages: gift giving & words of affirmation. In terms of how I give love, I am all about giving gifts. Sometimes I struggle to tell the people I love how much I love them, and gifts are how I express it. I take buying gifts very seriously and am constantly thinking and taking notes for future perfect gifts. It doesn’t have to be the biggest or most expensive gift (95% of the time, it’s a small thing!), but I want it to be perfect. For me, my gifts are usually just an expression of how I listen and pay attention to the people in my life. I take note of things they mention and figure out what would be the best gift, whether it’s a book about a topic I know they’re interested in or a bouquet of flowers delivered at a time they need it most.
The funny thing though is that I don’t prefer to receive gifts from other people. I like to receive love from words of affirmation. I can’t tell you how far a “thank you” will go or just a quick sentence of appreciation… or even just reaching out and saying Happy Birthday.
If you’re not familiar with love languages, I highly recommend doing a little research on it. I think it’s so important to know what you want but also what the people in your life need/want. For my boyfriend, for example, gifts are not his love language. So while I still do gifts (I can’t help it), I also make sure that I’m giving love the way he receives it best. And he knows I like to hear my love and happily obliges.
I’m a classic bottler. I bottle emotions up big time. And I’m probably too good at it. I can go years holding something in and letting the pressure build. Eventually, though, I do hit a breaking point and it’s rarely at an opportune time. In fact, the smallest thing can set me over and it’s not that that I’m particularly upset over, it’s the three years worth of things I’ve just kept bottled up. I work on this daily and, like I said earlier, knowing I do this helps me be better at not doing it (as much).
The good thing is that my bottling is typically 100% personal. I am pretty good at constructively confronting someone if there’s a particular issue with a friend or loved one. In that case, I can let my feelings be known mostly because I hate conflict and would prefer to just deal with it right away versus letting it fester. Instead, I sit there and bottle up all of my personal stress and anxiety and worries and doubts. It’s great, haha.
There’s Tucker right up front!
I used to hate reading and was afraid of dogs & now I have two dogs and love to read. I just think it’s funny how big of a role both reading and my pups are in my life when, for the good majority of my childhood I was terrified of dogs and despised reading. As far as the books go, I think I would have enjoyed reading had it not been for required reading in school. (I hated that our school did AR points because it felt like a game I had to play– and win– versus something I could just enjoy. It made it stressful and competitive.) Books became my true escape my senior year of college when my friends had all graduated and I had quit the rowing team. I got a library card and started reading everything I could get my hands on. I even read the Harry Potter series for the first time and then my mind was really blown.
For dogs… I was afraid of them right up until college. It wasn’t like I thought one would attack me, but I was wary of letting a dog get near me. (I am still not a fan of licking or dog hair that sheds.) Then I went through a rough patch after quitting crew and spent so much time at the house I was living in with Little V’s brother’s golden retriever Tucker. I swear he could sense I was upset and he would literally follow me around the house and lay down on my lap whenever I sat down. After three straight weeks of it, I was very bonded with him and ever since then, I’ve been okay with dogs. And, of course, have two of my own now. (Tucker passed away recently and I really do miss him!)
Speaking of fears… my biggest one is getting arrested for and wrongly convicted of a crime I didn’t commit. It’s a very, very strong fear even if it’s pretty irrational. If I watch anything where jail is involved or a trial, it’s almost a guarantee that I’m going to have a nightmare about it in the next week or so. Ugh. Next up there on the list is tsunamis or any natural disaster involving water. It. Freaks. Me. Out. I’m fine swimming in oceans and lakes and whatever (I know that skeeves some people out), but I am always very much aware of the power of water.
Okay that’s all I can think of for now! I don’t know if I revealed anything new exactly, but maybe! Anything else you’d want to know?!
This post describes me so well I almost thought I wrote it myself. I’m an INTJ, a classic bottler, love to read (also didn’t read HP until college), and oddly enough my biggest fear is tsunamis. I have nightmares about them far too often to be considered normal haha. I enjoyed reading this so much because I found myself thinking “Oh my gosh me too!!” every other line.
I’m an INTJ as well, and two of my close friends in college are INTJs too! I think it’s pretty funny that we found each other because apparently it’s one of the least common personality types. On the other hand, maybe it only makes sense that we found each other and bonded, using our sixth sense to find each other ;P // Oh I’ve always loved reading! Huge thanks to my mom who always encouraged us to find our own books to read and love 🙂 // That’s a very specific fear haha. I was actually listening to a podcast recently and there was one episode of the podcast in which the hosts played Would You Rather. It was my favourite episode of theirs and I ended up listening to it a second time, this time with a friend, and we played along. One of the questions was: Would you rather go to jail for a crime you didn’t commit, or not go to jail after committing a crime but live in fear of being caught? I would rather go to jail for a crime I didn’t commit because I couldn’t live looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life; I would be in a constant state of anxiety. At that point, I’d just give myself up! // Hmm since we’re on the topic, my favourite Would You Rather from that podcast episode was: “Would you rather be famous now and forgotten when you die, or unknown now and famous after you die?” My short answer is famous now, forgotten later 😛 What about yours? -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s
I love this post! Thank you for sharing!
Me too on the fear of wrongful conviction. I’m almost afraid to say it aloud and put it in the universe.
Is there a website that you trust to take the Meyers Briggs assessment for free or do you do the paid version?
I did three paid ones (one in college, one at my job, and one at a conference I went to) and then I’ve done free versions online too lol
Heidi – I’ve used 16 Personalities in the past (https://www.16personalities.com/), and found it very informative. It gives deep analysis on the different personality types, and even gives you examples of famous people and characters that match. I’m an ISTJ (think Hermione Granger), so very close to Carly, just slightly different in how we process information and view the world (i.e. past/present vs future).
According to the website, Michelle Obama is an INTJ like Carly.
please don’t pay for Myers-Briggs!! It’s completely meaningless: https://www.vox.com/2014/7/15/5881947/myers-briggs-personality-test-meaningless
I’m an INTJ too! It’s crazy how rare INTJ women are 🙂
briana | youngsophisticate.com
Hi Carly!
I’ve followed your blog for awhile now, and when I read this post, I just had to send you a quick note.
I’m an INFJ, and while I’ve never personally met another INFJ, my friend’s husband is an INTJ, and he and I have so many of the same personality traits.
One of my greatest fears is, not kidding, being wrongly convicted. I always thought I was the only one to ever think about something like that, because it is irrational (especially being a young white female). Funnily enough, I ended up becoming an attorney…maybe that’s part of the reason why? 🙂
Relatedly, one of my fears is when someone mishears or misunderstands me. Some of my strongest memories are being reprimanded by a teacher/coach for something I didn’t do. I wonder if you also experience that fear?
Love reading your posts — don’t let the haters get you down!
I am INTJ as well. You basically just described me…minus the dog thing. I like dogs and we’ve always had one or two…never afraid. Also…the power of water. Yes! I dream almost every night and there is always water involved somewhere somehow.
As an ISTJ, I can relate to the comments about being an introvert! All my friends think I’m extrovert because I’m comfortable with public speaking and talk constantly when around friends, but don’t realize how much I hate meeting new people or need to re-charge after big events.
I’ve always loved reading, but I can also relate to hate being forced to read in school. The only assigned reading book I EVER liked, in all my years of education, was The Westing Game. But the hate of being forced to read is what’s kept me from joining a book club as an adult!
I can so relate to this post Carly! I refer to myself as an “extroverted introvert” because I like going out and to events and talking to people and doing things but I definitely need time by myself to recharge. I’m never taken the personality test but I should to see what I would be classified as. I also have a fear of going to jail for a crime I didn’t convict because while it’s very unlikely it does happen! Thank you for this post and sharing more personal stuff about you.
okay, this is pretty funny, I’m an INTJ as well, and I used to be afraid of dogs. My number 1 fear combines sharks and tsunamis. I’m a bottler too, although I’ve gotten a lot better at not doing that in the last 10 years.
Thank-you for sharing so much Carly! I’ve never taken the Meyers Briggs test, but now I’m super curious.
I hope you have a lovely Saturday,
Michael
https://www.mileinmyglasses.com
Shopping info on your dress? So cute!
Would also love to know where this dress is from!
I’m one of the elusive ITjis too (usually an N, occasionally S). The gift giving really resonated with me. I love giving gifts that say “I know you and celebrate the real you.”
I also am a INTJ!
I loved this post! So many fun facts. I would love to hear more about how communicated your love languages with your loved ones. I know and respect you want to keep things private but in particular with your boyfriend — shamelessly so I can do the same!
This was sooo good!
ISTJ – so close.
Me to others: gifts; Others to me: quality time.
Bottle bottle bottle. A little too much wine – explode.
School ruins reading. It ruined me until Jr year of college. It has ruined it for my kids (14, 16, and all my counselees as a HS Guidance Counselor. Afraid of dogs a bit. Husband allergic. Have 2 bunnies.
And bahahahahaha. I have the guiltiest heart ever. When I was little my mom would quiz me about what I had been snacking on before dinner if I wasn’t eating. I just wasn’t hungry but couldn’t help but look and act so guilty. Hasn’t gotten better and I’m pushing 50.
I enjoyed hearing more about you. I was an ENTJ when I first took the Myers Briggs but over time I became INTJ. People are always surprised that I am introverted because like you, I have no trouble with public speaking and am generally outgoing. But as I get older being social really drains me. And its a story I rarely tell but I WAS falsely accused of a crime by a disgruntled employee and had to hire an attorney. I informed a young teen who had had given us really bad service somewhere that I was reporting her to customer service. She immediately went there and told them I pushed her. I never was even near her. Will was there. She just did it because she was on probation and did not want to lose her job so she made something up. She was a minor so the charge would’ve been assault of a minor. It was around the time we applied to adopt Kate and it caused me SO much stress. It all worked out in my favor but it did make me see some of the problems with our justice system. It was awful. So, I totally get that fear.
That’s so cool that you’re an INTJ! I’m an INFJ haha. Thanks for sharing some fun facts about yourself. 🙂
I’m an INTJ as well and people are surprised when I tell them that too. They often believe that introverts don’t like to talk, which in my case is defiantly not true!
As an ENFP you and I are pretty much opposites! But it’s interesting as I’ve entered college (I was first instructed to take the test by my college counselor sophomore year in HS) and become more independent, I’ve started to become more introverted. I’m interested to see how much I change throughout life! Thanks for sharing all this Carly 🙂
I’m an INTJ too (although I got INTP one time a few years ago). I love Myers Briggs as an interesting thing to think about, but of course not what I would base major life decisions on.
People are always surprised to hear I’m an introvert — I was a theater major and now teach yoga which requires me to be very loud and outgoing. I have to be careful about taking time to recharge with my more extroverted career path.
I just realized something crazy — I’m your direct inverse: ESFP! Personality types are so fascinating to me. I’ve recently been reading about the inneagram and am taken by how accurate it feels when I read about who I am. Oftentimes I feel like people just cherrypick whatever resonates with them so the descriptions can be so general, but I find myself nodding and saying, “YES!” so much when I read about my type (7s).
If you’ve really enjoyed learning about your personality through MB, I HIGHLY recommend looking into the Enneagram. I’ve found it so helpful for personal growth and reflection. Plus there are plenty of good podcasts about it too!
Loved this post and relate a lot to it, specifically with your love languages. I LOVE giving gifts and am convinced I inherited it from my mother who is the ultimate gift giver. But on the flip side I need love in the form of affirmation the most, as I’m one to let my insecurities run my brain.
Also, totally understand your fear of the power of water because I have that same fear but of wind! Whenever I’m driving or flying and can feel the car/plane shift because of the wind I FREAKKKK out like on the verge of panic attack freak out. I hope someday I can move past it!
xoxo Logan
http://www.habitsandhues.com
Loved this post Carly! I have only recently started following your blog but I love how honest and open you are! I am an ESFP – complete opposite of you, but somehow I think we’d still get along 😉
Hey Carly!
It’s funny how much I do recognise myself in your description! I am a big bottler too and cracked twice in my life, in public, which was so bad! I’m such a quiet and shy person usually, nobody expects it from me! I also LOVE giving gift. Everytime I go shopping I end up with gifts and totally hate to receive any. I’m just so picky about what I like! I prefer receiving cards or notes 🙂
I love your blog and that you post everyday! It’s very interesting!
PS: I am totally afraid of natural disasters and always scared to die in any stupid way like slip and break my neck in the shower or whatever.. Haha!
This was such a fun and interesting post! I loved getting to know these random things about you (I’m pretty new to your blog but a huge fan already). Glad you got over your fear of dogs— they’re angels! And I also read the HP books around my senior year of college and was completely mind blown as well haha.
Xo, Kacie | theprettylittlehustler.com
I am also an INTJ! We are extremely rare. The only other INTJ that I know is my dad.
Of course, you’re also an INTJ! I remember starting to read your blog about 8 years ago and thinking, “this girl gets it. I feel like she and I would get along”. Now it all makes perfect sense. Change as an INTJ is a funny thing. Not sure if you’re the same way, but because of the stubbornness about I have about having things my way, I hate change because it means I was initially wrong about something. Also a complete bottler (for better or worse– mostly worse).
Well, I am also an INTJ and I felt like I was reading a post I wrote while reading this. 🙂
Carly, that is also a huge fear of mine! I actually found out a relative of mine is famous in a small town for getting acquitted for a crime he did commit in the 1800’s and there is even a mural about the incident in the small town! I wondered if this is where the fear was from, passed down somehow as I imagine that was a scary time for him! Crazy because I have never heard of anyone else with that fear.
I knew I always found so many things I could relate with in the things you do… and now that you say that you’re an INTJ, it’s all there! As a fellow INTJ, I haven’t really found anyone else where I live with my kind of personality (I live in South America, and here people tend to be really extroverted), so I end up being ostracized most of the time. But, just as you, I have no issues with speaking in public. In fact, I’m usually the first to state my opinion, or to volunteer to do something.
Loved this post, Carly! This was so fun to read, and I found myself nodding along because I am so similar in many ways (I actually waver between the INFP-T and INTJ but it’s always one of those two). Except my fear is of failure (which can sometimes be self-defeating) and dictatorships (the thought of not having rights / freedom *terrifies* me).
Have the best week!
Briony xx