Feeling Lost? 4 Quick Actions to Help Find Your Way

It’s so funny– when I read the title of the Google Doc Maxie shared with me, I thought, “Max and I have so been there together.” We always end up turning to each other when we feel lost. Two times a year (each), max, but it happens. And then we hash it out together. Maxie’s tips here are great to keep in your back pocket the next time you feel lost.

I feel lost

Feeling Lost? 4 Quick Actions to Help Find Your Way

Guest post by Maxie McCoy

When you have no idea where you’re going in life or how to get there, it’s a terrible feeling. It’s easy to ignore but near impossible to forget. Like a quiet faucet drip happening in the sink, the more you focus on it, the louder it gets.

I’ll never forget years ago sitting on the floor of Carly’s apartment playing with Teddy (who OMG was a tiny puppy at the time) and having a level-five freak-out about my life. I was so confused because I could see the north star of where I wanted to be, but I couldn’t even begin to think about what the very next step should be. Or what five steps after that should be.

I look back and realize that I wasn’t lost at all. I was experiencing what every single one of us goes through at one time or another: we don’t believe in ourselves enough to find our way. As I know from personal experience, when you do, it changes everything. You’d realize that you have the directions to wherever you want to go sitting right in the palm of our hands.

That map you need is within you. So whether you’re not sure where you want to go, or you’re not sure what to do next, focusing on building a deep sense of self-belief will get you there. Try these four things and I promise you’ll realize you’re not as lost as you think:

1. Acknowledge Your Desires – if you’re doing that whole, “I have no idea what I want or where I’m going,” I’ve got some tough love: Actually, you do. It’s in there. It might be locked down in the basement of your heart or wrapped in an an 8-foot electric fence… but what you want is there. You have to be willing to admit it to yourself. You have to be bold enough to acknowledge it. The more you believe in your ability to go after those things the easier it will be to declare.
2. Quit Ruminating – You know that whole overthinking and obsessively analyzing every detailed thing that you do? It’s not working. Ruminating over decisions and actions (what could go wrong, what we could have done better, what we should have said), it kills your confidence and clouds your ability to move forward to the clearing.
3. Take Action, Immediately – No one gets to where they want to be by thinking about it. (If only!). You have to be willing to try things. To say things. To put it out there. To sign up. To make changes. And to do all of those things without worrying about perfection. Action will give you immediate “life feedback” as to what you like, what’s working, and what doors are opening that you never knew existed.
4. Call on your community – Who is your fiercest supporter? Who are the people who know just what to say to remind you that you’ve got this? Those humans are mirrors into just how ready you are to go after whatever it is that you want. Eventually, your belief in yourself will rise to meet theirs. But until then, keep these humans around, so you feel more confident than you do on your own. Soon you’ll be willing to step on the path before you.

When you’re feeling lost, think about what’s holding you back. If you tune into your gut, you’ll notice that you do have desires and goals, you just don’t believe in your ability to accomplish, deserve or execute on them. Laying the love on yourself will give you the boost you need to go after all that you want.

Want more help finding your way?? Download this “You’re Not Lost” worksheet. It’ll give you even more easy steps for finding confidence!

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Thanks for this reminder, Maxie! I was kind of the opposite of what I thought: I went to law school and thought I didn’t want to be a lawyer but didn’t know what else to do. Well, it turns out the thing I needed to admit to myself was that I did want to be a lawyer! 🙂 Thanks for all your real talk–love it!


Thank you Maxie for this post! After a few weeks of “I have no idea”, this is exactly what I needed to read.


This made me cry! I’ve been feeling so lost lately and this is just the wake-up call I needed – thank you.


Love these! Especially number three. We can get so stuck, sometimes you just have to jump in with both feet! Thank you.


Like others have said, this is exactly what I needed to hear! This is my second year out of college and I’m been feeling lost and since I graduated. There’s some good tips here that I will definitely try.


I like to say Oprah enlightened me when I felt completely lost – I had just left my first postgrad job, was completely miserable and thought I had no clue as to what I wanted to do. So there I am, in pjs on the couch watching a “NY Med” marathon on the OWN channel, when it dawns on me that all along – even since I was a kid – I’ve wanted to be a doctor, and just because I was out of college and many steps away from being there that didn’t mean I couldn’t do it. Today (a little over two years later) I’m in my final step before I can apply and I’ve never felt more on track in my life. So thanks, Oprah!!!


This is exactly what I needed! I’m a senior in college and I keep second-guessing my career path. I know that it’s the right fit for me-I just need to keep telling myself that!