The other day, we were discussing our personality types at work. We have a bizarre number of INTJs in the office. But, in general, we have a ton of introverts. It’s funny because when we’re all together, everyone is super open and seemingly extroverted.
Introversion and extroversion are not really how people act in public, but more so where they get their energy. Introverts get their energy by spending time alone; extroverts get their energy by spending time with other people.
I absolutely get my energy from spending time alone. I’m okay when I’m with people (that I know), but I really do get exhausted after a while. Quiet time in my apartment. With a book. And maybe some popcorn. And on desperate occasions, meditation.
However, sometimes friendships can trump my introversion!
I can always tell when someone is a really good friend if I get energy from spending time with him/her. Seriously. Great friends can convince me to leave my apartment even if I claim to be exhausted or too busy. And amazing friends can manage to make me have fun at a bar.
Anyone who can do that deserves an award. It’s not easy.
Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about friendships. I’ve maintained wonderfully amazing friendships. I built lasting friendships during college. And, I’ve somehow managed to find the best best best friends in this super giant, somewhat intimating city.
Sifting through friendships can sometimes feel like searching for gold. You really do have to get through tons of sand to get that one tiny, precious nugget of a friend. Sometimes you may even think that you have one of those friends on your hands and it turns out to be fool’s gold.
Despite the fact that having to let go of once-was-friendships from time to time, continuing to put yourself out there in the search is worth it. After going through a very difficult falling out during my senior year of high school, I had this obsessive thought that I would never have girlfriends again. I loved my girlfriends in high school, but I was paranoid to let anyone into my life during college because I was afraid. Yet, when I finally opened up… I found those friends that really understood me and that made life so much more fun and meaningful.
Friends add color to your life. Friends can make sitting at home on a Friday exciting (Laguna Beach re-runs, anyone?). Friends can make a night out on the town feel like the best night ever.
What’s important to remember when searching for friends is to find out how you are as a friend. Friends come in all shapes and sizes. (Quiet ones, crazy ones, wild ones, shopping buddies, call-at-4-in-the-morning-during-a-meltdown ones.) Ask yourself what you bring to the table in terms of your friendships. Do you take more than you give? Do you listen as much as you vent? Do you laugh and cry? Do you support? Do you compromise?
Important things to consider!
What do you look for in friends? What kind of friend are you?