I think I had one or two grey hairs in high school, but they started multiplying in college. Not a ton but five strands… which turned into about ten. They never really bothered me but one time a guy I was seeing offered to pluck them out (I was 21 and not the most secure) and I let him. Then I started systematically plucking them out when they’d pop up until it was clear that they were only growing in one area that I knew I’d end up with a bald spot if I plucked them all.
I gave up after that and because of the way I parted my hair, they didn’t draw that much attention. However, last year I was training my hair to part the other way and that kind of devolved into a middle part. I think the middle part is way more flattering for my head shape (and hides the fact that I’m definitely experiencing hair loss at my temples 🤷🏻♀️) but my grey hair is much more prominently displayed.
My hair is obviously super dark and the grey hair truly stands out against it. (No confusing it for a sun-bleached highlight like blonde hair) and it is only growing from about a one and half inch strip right down the middle of my scalp.
Because it’s more noticeable now, I end up answering a lot of questions about why I don’t dye my hair. I don’t mind, but my response is super simple: I like it! Sometimes I think people expect me to mention the patriarch or have some sort of stance against hair dye in general. I love the way grey hair looks on men and women. I love that mine is growing in (what I think is) a striking way.
I still blow dry my hair straight and curl it with a wand. I fill in my eyebrows, I bleach my mustache, I pluck/shave/laser body hairs. So I’m far from completely embracing natural hair.
I just like how my grey hair looks! I do wish it was some eloquent response. Saying I like the grey usually leads to more confusion because how could a woman love grey hair? Last fall I went to a conference for women owned small businesses and Stacy London was a keynote speaker. I don’t know if it was because it was in NYC or if Stacy fans were filling the audience but so many women (like out of 300, at least 50) had grey hair of some kind. It was one of the most empowering things.
Also, I just listened to a podcast about going grey and while I think they touch on some of the inequality women face with beauty standards (like saying if you do go grey you have to step up your wardrobe game in the professional world), it was fascinating. Definitely recommend giving it a listen if you’ve been on the fence about going grey!
If you need even more inspiration, I love @grombre on Instagram. They feature so many women with all kinds of grey hair. From growing out grey, to fully grey, to in-between grey. Women of all ages, all ethnicities and all hair types are featured and I honestly think everyone looks so beautiful. And my ultimate girl crush, Claire Saffitz, has the best streak in the game.
If nothing else, I hope women don’t feel like they have to dye your hair. You can if you want, but no one should feel like they have to do it.