I WENT TO A CONCERT ALONE. I’m sharing this in part as a pat on the back for myself and also to encourage anyone else who might feel similarly to me to try the same. It was amazing and I can’t recommend it enough.

My concert “background”:

I went to my first concert when I was in elementary school (Backstreet Boys, obviously) and I just remember feeling incredibly overwhelmed by the crowd and music. I have exactly two memories from it and both involve me thinking, “I want to go home.” After that, I had no desire to try again. I had obviously been in crowds and other spaces with loud music and I always hated the experience, so no concerts for me. I did go to a High School Musical (lol) “concert” when I was in high school, but we were in a suite with a bunch of my friends and it was a much more low-key experience. Mike and I went to see Leon Bridges at Radio City and, again, it wasn’t your typical concert and even then, I was like, love Leon Bridges, but I don’t think I want to go to a concert again.

Between my dislike of crowds and loud music, the pandemic and (ugh) the reality of violence in the United States, I really was thinking I’d never even attempt a concert again.

Until Harry Styles. The minute I found out about his concert in NYC, I started wondering if I should try to go. Mike and I were talking about it since it would fall around my birthday. I really wanted to go but also was just wholly anxious even considering it. I love Harry Styles though and I couldn’t stop thinking about how I wanted to go!!

Last week, Mike and I made a last minute decision to do a trial run of Jack and me not being together. (The TLDR is: he’s sleeping through the night, he can drink milk from a straw, and we started to wean….) We have a couple of trips coming up quickly so we figured it was better to try it when the pressure was low first before we had to commit to doing it for “real.” I knew I’d be missing him so what did I decide to do? Go to the Harry Styles concert alone as a good distraction.

Why I think going alone is the way to go for my anxiety:

On my drive home, I was just beaming with excitement that I had done it! I went and didn’t have a panic attack! And even better… I had a fantastic time! I loved it so much and I was beyond glad I had gone. And I’m really glad I went alone, even. It was the perfect way for me to experience the concert. Going alone allowed me to eliminate some of my big anxiety points.

– I could bail at any point without disappointing anyone. This is a mix of my issues, people pleasing and my anxiety! I hate the idea of committing to something and then changing my mind and letting someone down. By going alone, I gave myself the option of bailing at any point. Before buying tickets, I could change my mind. Before driving into the city, I could change my mind. Before walking into the venue, I could change my mind. I could get to my seat and panic and change my mind. Not surprisingly, by removing the pressure of feeling committed, I felt so much lighter and more at ease about saying yes. I kept reminding myself that I could leave at any point and that gave me the confidence to at least try.

– I didn’t have to worry about what someone else. I don’t know if this is something everyone feels or maybe it’s just because I’m a control-freak-people-pleasing-first-child-Virgo… but when I’m in a small group, I am constantly worried about how everyone else is enjoying their time. Are you happy? Are you liking the music? Are you comfortable? Do these seats disappoint you? Are you hungry or thirsty or want to go stand in line for a shirt? I could just worry about me and making sure that I was having a good time. I also tend to get wrapped up in like getting left behind or separated from a group or even one person.

Additional things that helped:

Now going alone didn’t completely erase my anxiety. Of course, there were plenty of things to keep my heart racing and thoughts spiraling 🤣 It’s just that going alone eliminated some “low hanging fruit,” so to speak. Here are other things I did to help:

– Driving myself and pre-paying for parking. I weighed all my options for getting to and from the city. I am totally comfortable driving in the city and bringing my own car, again, would allow me to arrive and leave on my own schedule. I didn’t have to worry about rushing to a train or trying to snag an Uber immediately following a giant event in NYC. I pre-paid for a parking spot with SpotHero, which guarantees a spot, right by Madison Square Garden. I listened to a great podcast on the drive in to just keep me distracted (remember, I was still not 100% sure I’d be able to get myself into the stadium at this point….). I drove right up to the garage and had the car secured and parked and didn’t have to worry about that at all.

– Finding a ticket in row 1. So this was easier since I only needed one ticket, but I prioritized finding a seat in the first row of a section. I ended up doing a bit of research on Madison Square Garden and landed on getting a seat in a lounge section in the 300s, which was perfect. It wasn’t loud, I could sit the entire time, and the area wasn’t overwhelmed with people at all. It was ideal for me.

– Wearing something comfortable. Another easy thing, but since I went alone, I really didn’t care what I wore. I just wanted to feel comfortable and not need to worry about uncomfortable shoes or bras or anything that would stress me out.

– Not sharing ahead of time. I told a couple of close girlfriends to kind of gauge their reaction (a, “haha do you think this is weird or a bad idea?”) and Mike, obviously. Otherwise, I just kept my mouth shut about it because, again, I gave myself permission to back out at any point. I didn’t have to explain it to anyone if I decided to stay or go home.

If you’ve gotten to the end of this and you’re thinking this is a lot of overthinking for a concert…. yes, you’re right.

And really, just be glad you don’t understand this because being an anxious person is exhausting. I’ve just been so disappointed as I’ve gotten older thinking about all the things my anxiety has made me miss out on. So many events and fun things that I wish I could just get over my issues and enjoy. I’ve worked on a lot of my anxiety issues, but the biggest thing I’ve realized is that I don’t have to do things the way they may be typically done. I can make accommodations so I can enjoy things in my own way.

Because I was overthinking this whole situation, I felt like I was able to really pinpoint some of the fears that I could control. (Naturally, there’s plenty that I can’t!) I had the best, best time because I was able to check enough of my fears at the door. At one point I found myself singing aloud (!!!) and felt so free and was like, “Ooooh, okay I get why people like concerts! I think I like this!” And then at the very end as one of my favorite songs was being performed, I got emotional thinking, “Wow, I can’t believe I’m here… I am so glad I didn’t miss this.”


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



I love this! I’ve gone to the symphony and to see musicals alone and it is a similarly wonderful experience.


I have been to a concert alone once, to see the opening act. Then I left mid show, since I didn’t care about the main act!

It was fun !


This is amazing and SO brave of you!! I am always dragging my husband to my favorite artists and it honestly brings down the vibe for me— he doesn’t always know the music and doesn’t like concerts or crowds. I end up feeling so worried that he’s having a bad time and almost embarrassed to sing aloud and be lost in the music. I’ve never considered going alone before. This totally inspired me for next time if a girlfriend can’t make it. Thank you for sharing!!


I’m the same way with my husband. We do not have the same taste in music, and I’m always worried that he’s not having a good time. I, too, never thought about going alone. This is a gamechanger for me.

Rebecca HT

I absolutely LOVE and prefer going to concerts alone! After my first one back in 2005, I was hooked. I don’t do it often, though, and only for bands/performers I really like.
In 2016 (or 2017? I can’t remember) I went to two music festivals by myself, and it was the best way to do it, in my opinion! I got to see all of the artists I wanted to (and only the artists I wanted to), didn’t have to worry about anyone else’s food/water/bathroom break needs, and left early most nights, to beat the crowds.
It’s just the best!


This is EXACTLY why I prefer to go to the movies alone. I feel that I can fully immerse myself into the characters and plot, and sometimes I lose track of where I am in the world. There’s also temptation to just look at my phone during the movie. which I hate to admit, happens a lot at home. It’s the best!


You really captured what anxiety feels like. I’m very much the same. I think I’m gonna share this post with people I love as a way of explaining how one event can make me completely spiral.
So nice that you were able to have a good time!


I agree with Sarah here… you captured the irrationality of anxiety but also made it human. It is difficult to explain to people (friends, family) what anxiety is like especially because when I try I realize how silly I sound… but it is real to us. I’m glad you had a nice time, love Harry Styles!


thank you so much for sharing this! i have the same anxiety with concerts/big public events, and i’ve always been afraid of going alone to those, but you’ve inspired me to try an event on my own! seriously, thank you for being open about your anxiety and solutions or things you’ve tried!


I saw Harry at Madison Square Garden alone around 5 years ago and it was a BLAST! I decided it was a can’t miss concert and didn’t want finding someone else to go to hold me back. I’ve now gone to several concerts alone for the same reason and love it to this day.


I went to a concert February 2020 by myself! I couldn’t find anyone to go with me but I didn’t want to waste an opportunity to see one of my favorite artists. Not only was it a great experience, but it was a piece of comfort that I clung onto during quarantine that if that was my last concert, at least I went out on a high note! So glad you had a good experience 🙂


I did this while on my honeymoon in Ireland!! It was the end of our first day and we were staying in Dublin. My husband was super tired and wanted to go back to our airbnb, and I decided to stay out a bit longer and got a ticket to a play. Turns out I was super tired too and left at intermission. No guilt, felt amazing to try something new, and I had zero anxiety knowing I could leave whenever.


I’ve gone to multiple concerts alone. It was definitely out of my comfort zone but after I was always so glad I went.


This is cool.

Everyone should give themselves permission to do anything alone, the solitude and introspectiveness that solitary outings afford in individuals are invaluable for self-worth, personal growth, and personal empowerment.

A concert is a big one, while I don’t personally enjoy live music I have not done anything this large-scale alone. I benefit from shopping, dining, and simple activities alone. I’ll need to think about if there is something larger I can strive to do solo.

Judith Hume

I’m 72 and I find this post inspiring! Thank you for sharing and congratulations for achieving this! SO cool! 🙂


What is interesting to me is that there are so many people who don’t have anxiety unless it involves… doing something alone in a public space! (eating alone in a restaurant, watching a movie in a theater alone, etc). Think it’s so awesome that you were able to go to a concert by yourself, something that is largely considered a two person/group activity even over those examples I gave (restaurant/theater). A good reminder that we should all give each other some grace and refrain from judgement! Also really inspired me to go to a concert alone, even though I love going with groups — just seems like it’d be its own unique experience that would be enjoyable in different ways. Thanks for sharing!

Chance Wright

I get it. I did the same thing. (Just not Harry Styles). Now i do it 2-3 times a year. And the feeling after is amazing. Good for you.


Thank you so much for sharing your experience!! I am the same way about concerts, and often feeling guilty for weighing my husband down who loves concerts! I’ve found confidence to just say no to most of the shows he wants to go to, knowing we’ll both have a much better time that way. He is incredibly supportive and it works for us! I’m glad to learn I’m not the only one who gets anxious over attending concerts.


I think that you handled this very well. You must be very proud of yourself and you should be. My Mother suffered from terrible anxiety and quite honestly it put a big damper on my growing up-

I never understood anxiety until my Mom was widowed and I lived with her. Anxiety is real and needs to be treated as such. Until my Mom took Paxil life was hard for her. Paxil really improved her quality of life.


I’ve gone to Broadway shows and the ballet at Lincoln Center in NYC by myself. You can often get excellent seats at both of those if you just buy a single ticket.


I honestly love this! I have two babies and agreed to go to a concert in the fall with a friend who had an extra ticket and I’m already filled with anxiety and wish I never said yes for all of these same reasons!


Thank you SO much for sharing this! I truly love going to concerts, but have noticed in the past few years that being around loud crowded spaces is super anxiety inducing, too! This makes me feel so much better about those feelings (just having the anxiety causes me anxiety, haha) and I love your suggestions for reducing some of those pain points.


I LOVE this Carly ! This is so awesome and also super brave !!! I am so glad you had a good time 🙂 Harry Styles = <3


Personally I think it is pretty brave to go by yourself to anything and I don’t have anxiety.


I really loved this and thank you for sharing .I been going through the same thing I been really wanting to go to Kentucky to see Lyndsey Buckingham in concert he will be there in October but……I live in Missouri and I been asking myself should I go alone or not go at all out of fear and anxiety. I mean ………..I really want to go but the other half of my brain is don’t go ..I don’t know what to do I know I’ll be alittle upset with myself for missing the opportunity but I feel like if I do go I won’t regret it …so I don’t know what to do .


Thanks for sharing! This is super brave and super awesome! Curious–afterwards, were any of your friends like” oh, I wish you would have asked me, I would have liked to go” or “hey I was there too!” ?


This is so helpful! I am going to a concert alone soon and have been very nervous, mostly about safety. Thank you for sharing!


I understand this so much, always afraid to let someone down, ruin their time- anxiety sufferer for35 years, have my share of panic attacks, have learned to work through them, but being able to let yourself off the hook at any time??? PRICELESS!° Well done!!!