How to Deal with Bittersweet Goodbyes

After six years of guest posts from Maxie (six years!!!!), today is the last. It’s very bittersweet! I’m forever grateful to Maxie and I’m so proud of what this bi-monthly column has done over the years!

How to Deal with Bittersweet Goodbyes

Guest post by Maxie McCoy

Everything ends. At some point – whether in some distant future or in some near moment – something will come to a conclusion. Life doesn’t stay the same. As we know, nothing does. Which means that as one chapter comes to an end, something else is beginning. But one thing is for sure, endings will happen whether you resist them or welcome them. The latter is definitely the way to go. 

Almost six years ago, I wrote my first guest post for Carly. What was then planned as a “popping in now and then” turned into guest posting every two weeks without fail. It’s been the most extraordinary gift to be here with all of you, read your comments, and meet you on and off this blog (there is ALWAYS someone from Carly’s community at each and every event I speak at). I can say with zero exaggeration that without all of you, and Carly’s fierce support and friendship, I wouldn’t have the career and business I do today. And I sure as heck wouldn’t have published my book, which you all so generously supported for the last year.

But now it’s time to say goodbye to these regular guest posts! I’m not crying, you’re crying. our lives and careers are growing and changing and evolving. We’re blossoming and putting our energy into different places. While I won’t be here every other week, you’ll definitely still see me and C eating ice cream, or having coffee, or writing cards to each other every chance we get! Because that’s what dear girlfriends do.

As I say goodbye here, I’ve been thinking about what makes for a graceful ending (of any kind), and here’s what I’ve learned about goodbyes:

First, reflect on everything that has transpired. It’s so easy to jump into what’s next without taking inventory over what’s been. I got so teary when I started reading all of my very early guest posts, and remembering how far we’ve both come, and how much Carly’s friendship (and all of you) have meant to me over the years. When we take time to reflect like this, we give the chapters of our lives and the experiences within them the attention they deserve. 

Second, communicate your gratitude. Many times we let experiences and moments pass us by without expressing out loud what they meant to us. Goodbyes are so much more meaningful and heartfelt when we take the time to say what people or experiences or situations meant. How we felt about them. What we’ll remember. Whether we do this directly to the person, in a journal, or in a handwritten note (I’ll be doing all of the above), gratitude makes for a joyous goodbye. Even if it’s bittersweet.

Third, find joy in what’s to come, even though it’s unknown. Goodbyes can be uncomfortable because we don’t always know exactly what’s coming next. But that’s the fun part! The amazing thing about a chapter closing, is that a new adventure will present itself. It has to. And there’s such excitement in that if we can see it, instead of only seeing our fear or worry in the unknown. 

Goodbyes of any kind, whether welcomed or resisted, can be hard. But they’re always happening FOR us. The more we can soften into the change of life, the more we’ll see that there can be such joy in endings. 

So, goodbye for now! But I do hope you’ll always stay in touch with me (on Instagram where I always am) and my writings (which email out every week). Thank you for welcoming me into your lives all these years – it’s been an indescribable gift to be on this wild journey together. 

xx, Maxie