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Okemo Ski Trip

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This is a bit of a mix of a post. A lot of ski photos and a video… and a bit of a confession.
I feel like I have a new lease on life. I’m not really sure what has happened internally, but I really feel like I have my anxiety issues in check. I do not say this lightly as it’s been something I’ve dealt with my whole life. While it wasn’t an overnight, miracle cure (still wish one of those existed!), I’m relieved to be in the place where I am.
As I told one of my friends, I definitely still experience anxiety. For me, I feel it physically first… a combination jittery stage fright, the shakes from a too-difficult work out, and sea sickness from being on a boat too long… with a rock on my chest. Then the racing mind (or frozen mind sometimes) starts. In the past the feeling could last an entire day and make me not want to leave my bed. It’s just not as debilitating now. I feel like I have way more a healthy life now.
I wish I could explain the transformation that I feel in a tangible way. The biggest change that I can articulate is that I made the choice to be happy, to not let anxiety define what I can and cannot do. My anxiety comes out in a variety of ways, one of which is perfectionism. 
If I don’t think I am good at something, I’d rather not do it. Period. 
And that’s where this whole skiing thing is such a big deal to me. I’m terrible! Really bad. But I still love it!!! Even with sore feet and legs, I would stay out there forever. A year ago, I would never have even attempted to ski out of fear of not being good at it, fear of the height of the mountain, and fear of breaking every limb. I’m really proud of myself for just trying and giving myself the chance to really enjoy something.
It scares me to think of all the things I might definitely have missed out on in the past. I have to remind myself to be thankful that I have started this new journey at 25 and not 50… or 75… I remind myself to think of not the missed adventures, but the many to come.
Again, my anxiety hasn’t disappeared, but I do think that the more I push the boundaries, the less it controls my life.
The whole ski group! We had so much fun together. From makeshift bagel-pizzas to late night Apples to Apples. It was just a great time all around.
Oddly enough, there was a Carlin, a Carly, and a Karl on the trip. With all the nick-name variations we already have, it got confusing!
The first day was super snowy and overcast. It was like skiing in a snowglobe!!! Carlin kept saying, “Car, every time I turn around and see you, you’re just zipping along with a huge smile on you face!” I was so happy on that mountain. It’s so physically and mentally demanding (at least for me since I’m still very much a novice), I can’t think about anything else. I feel like I always have some kind of work on my mind, but not while skiing. It is so freeing!
Day two and all smiles!

We strapped the GoPro on Garrett’s chest and this is what he captured:

xoxo

PS We’re going to Stowe next weekend and I am seriously counting the days.

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20 Comments

Southwestern Prepster

Aww that's absolutely amazing! Very glad to hear that you're starting to really live life – it's okay to be scared, especially being scared of failing, but we do things anyway for the experience! You never know what you could be winning by not even getting into the game. Looks like your trip was an absolute blast! I was supposed to go on a ski trip this next weekend, but too many conflicts arose and I had to cancel (booo). Great post, love that video from Garrett's chest, haha!
xx, Mikkaela
The Southwestern Prepster

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Tidy Tor

Carly!
This post spoke to me.
I know EXACTLY how you feel when you describe your anxious tendencies and I am taking a ski trip this spring which is terrifying me. It is supposed to be a fun vacation but I am still so nervous. Knowing you were brave and loved it inspires me.

Have a great Sunday!

-Tori

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Aly S

Loved this post, Carly! As someone who also struggles with debilitating anxiety, I feel your pain and share in your efforts to let go and live. Life is a lot more fun that way 🙂 Best wishes to you!
XOXO, Aly

sunshine-and-seersucker.blogspot.com

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Erin Murphy

Stowe is fantastic, definitely one of the best places to ski in New England, you'll love it. As a long-time reader, skiing does indeed seem so "outside the box" for you which I think is awesome! (and as a ski instructor, you look very confident on skis for a novice, cheers!)

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Caroline Osborn

I have been skiing since I was two in Colorado it's the best feeling in the world. If you're ever in Colorado try Vail it's unreal! Have fun hope for good snow!!

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Cassie

SO fun…Good for you! As a SoCal girl living in Utah, I tried skiing for the first time 2 years ago. Like you, I'm not the best, but it is so much fun! I actually decided that's what I want to do for my birthday next weekend (which I never would have expected from myself). Crazy how good it can feel to get outside your comfort zone 🙂 LOVE your blog!
xo, Cassie
http://www.afitigirlsguide.com

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Beth Hood

This is so encouraging! I love that you found something that makes you smile so much. I feel the same way about ice skating, but I'm always waiting around for someone to go with me to the ice rink. Today, I have the day off and just decided to go by myself – who cares if I'm the only one there over 3 feet tall!

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Tracy S

Good for you! It takes guts to push the boundaries and make the choices that can lessen your anxiety. Glad to hear you're experiencing a new outlook and enjoying the skiing!

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Kelly Marie Keating

The is the exact feeling I have when I snowboard. It is truly the only time I can ever fully clear my mind. I just focus on the movement and the mountain … such a fun, freeing experience. Hope you can keep with it!!

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