This week had a ton of heavy news to process. Honestly, I personally read plenty (that is, too much) news throughout the day and I go to blogs as a little mental break. I’ve always struggled with keeping my blog a blog, but this year in particular has been extra hard. Is my silence violence? Do I sound insensitive or ignorant for not acknowledging current events? How do I best serve my readers: by keeping it free of the news as a mental break or sharing information that could be helpful? I am the farthest thing from a journalist, after all.
With climate change, social issues, and political unrest coming to a head during a pandemic, I have (to put it lightly) no effing clue what to do. Like both as a person (I’ve googled “what can I do about ____” 13 times this week about 13 different issues) and as a content creator. I’m taking it a day at a time but the world feels bleak and it’s hard to keep a somewhat positive attitude on a lifestyle blog, which also happens to be my job.
And while we’re here… just want to make sure you’re registered and ready to v o t e.
ONE // Justice for Breonna Taylor
I was pretty disturbed about the result of the Breonna Taylor case this week. I’ve also been pretty disturbed about how and when they entered her apartment. (Like how would I react if a group of people barged into my house in the middle of the night… search warrant or not… I really don’t think my first reaction would be peaceful.) Part of the Justice for Breonna petition is demanding change within the police department. And if you want to donate money, one good place is the Louisville Community Bail Fund.
TWO // Woman On
Maxie just launched her latest project: Woman On, a community for women driven by weekly interviews with inspiring people! I know she’s been working her butt off to get this dream of hers off the ground and I’m so proud of her!! Excited to see where it takes her.
THREE // A Fall Story
Speaking of mental escapes, this may be my favorite lifestyle guide Tuckernuck has ever done. So editorial and super dreamy. Makes me want to hop in the car and head to the country for the weekend!
FOUR // RBG’s Clerks
Losing Ruth Bader Ginsburg last week was tough for many reasons. But the legacy she left is truly remarkable. She made history and made the world a better place, especially for women. One of the things that moved me the most, was her former clerks gathering at Supreme Court to pay their respects. She contributed to the collective whole, but it’s clear she was a great leader for the individuals who worked for her over the years.
FIVE // Father of the Bride Reunion
Meghan forced me to watch Father of the Bride two falls ago while we were on a trip. I had never seen it! I loved it though. Netflix has a reunion with the cast happening on their Youtube/Facebook pages today at 6pm EST. I don’t think I’ll be able to catch it right when it airs, but you better believe I’ll be tuning in sometime this weekend.
I read your blog and follow along on Instagram to learn just as much as I do to escape. Because of you, I’ve taken French back up, discovered creative hobbies that center me, found ways to get involved in my community, and prioritized building a stronger future for myself and my family. I know “influencer” is such a cringe word, but that’s true to your role in this world—you have this crazy privilege and responsibility of influencing people. And while I will always 100% respect and support whatever you choose to share because I know it’s done so thoughtfully, I personally wouldn’t mind a little bit more acknowledgement of current events. I think it can be actionable and insightful without being too heavy. Maybe it’s hosting a volunteer day for readers post-COVID, setting up a raffle or fundraiser for a relevant cause, or sharing tangible ways to get involved in our communities (like, yes, please vote—but you can also write letters or phone bank). You could build a list of Amazon wishlists for teachers! Share your blog with a BIPOC woman for a day! I just have so many ideas lol can you tell? Thank you for your honesty this week—I know it’s so tricky. And I appreciate you starting this week’s On My Radar with Breonna Taylor!
I totally agree with this, Quincy! Speaking up now matters more than ever, and there are absolutely creative ways to do it that feel on-brand.
Echoing this sentiment above as well!! Thank you Carly for using your blog for both. So so important and very appreciative of it.
Well said Quincy! I agree 100%. I, too, love that Carly started her post today with Breonna Taylor. During this pandemic there is so much to take in and so much to discuss. We can’t ignore what is happening in our world, but it is okay to take a break too. I appreciated the “reducing carbon footprint” post Carly did a while back. She inspired me to make my own changes which have led to many changes during this time of sheltering-in-place to be more environmentally friendly.
Honestly I prefer you don’t bring up the news and what is going on. I come to your blog to get away from that stuff. You, like any other celebrity or “influencer” or sports figure, have your opinions, but I don’t need to know them or who you’re voting for or what you think about xyz going on.
Thank you for sharing and starting with Breonna Taylor. Please continue to talk about these things, and encourage your followers to shift from awareness to action! We (white people) shouldn’t try to escape from these conversations because they’re uncomfortable. BIPOC live with this everyday and that needs to be acknowledged. They can’t escape. This is their reality. Something that’s stuck with me recently is the concept that if you’re not being actively anti-racist you are leaving space for racism and that is racist. We should all be using our voices no matter how big or small to suck the air out of racism (I say that very intentionally). Black Lives Matter, my nephew’s life matters, my friends’ lives matter. This isn’t politics. We’re not talking about your opinion on tax rates. This is human rights.
To add something that’s on my radar: I recommend Tunde’s Speak Up rides on Peloton. I took the one from June 3 today and it was uncomfortable but it was also empowering. She talked about how our voices are power and if we sugar coat things we lose that power.
I’ve been a reader since 2011 and I have so much respect for you. Please continue to use your voice. It is power.
Carly’s job may be influencer, but she is a human first and has just as much of a right as you or I to share her opinions about anything. It’s really sad when people say things like “they should get back to playing” or “they should just do their job” when people in the public eye share their political opinions. But, if you were to share yours, no one would say that to you. Choosing not to speak up right now is a gigantic show of privilege. We are literally living through history right now. Now is not the time to be silent.
I completely agree with Quincy and her assenters. It’s impossible to talk about life today and ignore what’s going on in this country. If Carly (or every other lifestyle blogger) ignored it, they’d be criticized for that too.
It’s her Blog-so she decides what to write about. You’re more than welcome to start your own; I’ll bet it’s harder than these women make it look.
Thanks, Carly. Keep it up!
As someone who works in news, it can definitely be a lot to process. But coming and reading your blog is a very bright spot in my day. Thank you for keeping it real and timely but also light. Have a great weekend Carly!!
http://www.elspethsdaybyday.com
Love that story about RBG! Aside from her remarkable legacy, it sounds like she was a wonderful person and a great mentor. There will never be anyone else like her.
I think you’re doing such a great job balancing positivity/escape and “real world” references. Thank you! I love reading your blog.
hang in there… you are bringing a whole lot of positivity and doing a whole lot of good for others… be good to yourself <3
I appreciate that you’re acknowledging that you also don’t have all the answers, but you’re also not totally ignoring what’s going on in the world. I am having a hard time lately with blogs and social media that appears like there is no pandemic (people gathered in large groups, no masks, etc) and I’m also having an issue with people acting like journalists who aren’t. I appreciate you being honest and in the middle.
I can’t wait to check out Woman On. What an awesome project!
http://alexagmarsh.blogspot.com/
Hey Carly! I’m a longtime reader, and I totally have felt you on the issue of what to share these days. Everything can feel so heavy much of the time. Personally, I would love to see you share content that acknowledges the challenges we are facing and where there are opportunities to take positive action. Much like you did with making masks for the pandemic, it can be really inspiring to see someone else who is a peer with similar interests doing something to meet the moment or encouraging readers to make a difference in some way in their communities. Keep going, and keep sharing your informed perspective—the uninformed among us clearly feel entitled to share, so your voice does matter!
The balance you display on the blog is positive. Maybe this perspective will bring you the peace it has brought me: I’ve come to peace with the grand jury ruling regarding Breonna Taylor, because I realized that the grand jury ruling was about the conduct of individual police officers, not, as you mentioned, why and how they showed up on her doorstep. Arresting a police officer for operating within the laws and under order of their management isn’t just, and certainly the tragic death of Breonna Taylor isn’t just, but real justice can be found by voting and supporting/getting involved to change these laws through legal and police reform.
I read a lot of blogs, and I personally think you are handling this strange time better than anyone else. I do not expect blogs to be my source of news (like – please don’t think your job needs to pivot to that of a journalist), but it feels disingenuous when other blogs have completely glazed over Covid, racial unrest, the fires, etc. I know some of them are trying to stay true to their core focus, but it falls flat when such gigantic things are happening in the world. Can you imagine any blog not talking about 9/11 when it happened? Back to you – I truly think you’ve done a great job of balancing your normal content through a lens of our current situation. I cannot imagine how challenging it is to strike that balance, but from this reader’s perspective, you’re nailing it.
I feel the same way. This year has been so challenging. It’s hard to stay positive. I will say, I enjoy reading your blog for it’s positivity. We could all use more positivity!
I agree with Quincy in the ways you have influenced me to be a better me and to chase after the things I’m passionate about. However, I do appreciate the brain break I have from the constant noise by visiting your blog each day. But that being said, I’m not going to stop reading if you add more personal opinion on current events. I think its important to read from different perspectives. I realize this is a mixed message, but I respect you so much and your content that a few current even posts isn’t going to drive me away.
I think you need to be true to yourself, no matter where that takes you. If you didn’t mention the world around us now, you would just be a cardboard cut-out with cute outfits 🙂
Keep up the good work!!! You’re on the right path!
I appreciate the vulnerability you display when you say that you have no idea what the f to do. And honestly that is where I’ve been for the past few months. Recognizing that we feel uncertain and not completely sure of our next move is helpful for everyone. It’s easy to feel like we’re all alone…especially as the months of quarantining and social distancing continue. But we’re definitely not, and I really appreciate the reminder today!
I think addressing the world around us is everyone’s responsibility right now, and you have handled it very well. Influencers that just have plowed away hawking the Nordstrom sale and pumpkin patches, have been ones I have chosen to unfollow. keep up the good work, xx
I agree with Amanda. It’s a tough line to walk, and I think you’re doing it very well. I’ve unfollowed people who are just acting like it’s business as usual lately (including people I otherwise really, really like). It’s not and it’s crazy to act like it is!
I agree with others that you have remained on brand while still showing what is going on in the world. With the pandemic, you made cute masks. You created a space for people to talk about how they are feeling. With BLM you elevated Black brands. You share your volunteer journey…WFH fashion tips (it helps mental health to put yourself together to work at home). It is very apparent to me that you are aware of what is going on and you bring it to your corner of the internet. I struggle with this as well. I started a blog a few months ago and end the week with a “Ending the week on a positive note” post. Last week with the death of RBG, I questioned if I should even post. But, I did. I just modified it with a quote that embodied RBG. We cannot be doom and gloom all the time. It’s a balance. I think Quincy has some excellent ideas for the direction you can go while still staying on brand.
otresearchcorner.com
I’ll echo what many others have said — I think you’re finding the right balance of keeping this blog a nice escape but also addressing current events (with an honest, personal view). Thank you for doing both!
Thanks for sharing, Carly! Honestly, your blog is an escape for me from the tough things in the world right now, and it makes me happy to get away from the news and see posts about fall decor and monograms and such. But, I also think there’s a time and a place to address what’s going on, especially since we’ve all been struggling with it (everything is just so bleak right now), and I think you approached this in the absolute right way!
Sarah
https://sarahandherdogs.com
I get so frustrated with bloggers who absolutely refuse to speak out (at the bare minimum) on issues of social justice. As women, we have a responsibly to make our voices and concerns heard, to share love for our community and to encourage others to be brave in expressing their opinions. Keep doing what you’re doing. You are a place of beauty and escape, but also of female empowerment. We need each other right now. Let’s read, listen, learn, love, create, speak up and VOTE together!
I’m a recent reader (first-time commenter) who has become a regular *because* you bring up current events. Thank you for using your platform to acknowledge the current state of the world and advocate for change. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to weigh how to best engage in a way that is authentic and genuine while still being considerate of everything you have built in your business. Chiming in to reiterate what so many have already shared – I get more frustrated when bloggers don’t acknowledge current events. While I don’t expect influencers to share everything, a lack of acknowledgement of the state of affairs can feel a little like gaslighting or a veneer. I for one am reevaluating where I’m spending my time and what I’m consuming, and I’m much more likely to continue (or start!) following someone who is authentic and fights for what’s right. So thank you for using your platform to do so!
Like so many of the comments have already said, I feel like you are striking a really good balance between awareness and escape and the biggest thing I can attribute it to is your authenticity. This is obviously how you actually feel and you’re very intentional with your platform. I used to read several blogs a day, but their complete lack of acknowledgement of COVID, racial injustice, civil unrest, natural disasters, etc. have become too much. I’m down to you and one other and that feels right for now. Thank you for taking your role to heart!
I think a huge thing to note is that it’s a privilege for you to even be at this juncture. Please take this as constructive as it is meant to be. BIPOC don’t have the option to opt out of anything or take a mental break. If I choose not to post about x, it doesn’t matter because as a BIPOC, I am very much living it every single second. Prep in general is very white (Nantucket is like 87% white?) so I don’t think a lot of your readers are aware of this perspective that BIPOC face. I think the more you post (if those are your genuine feelings), the better. This is an especially hard week for black people, and it sucks to feel like your experience or story just doesn’t exist for white people because they have the luxury of looking away for a mental break. Grace at The Stripe does a really good job of this IMO, and I know you guys are friends so just some food for thought.
I have been impressed with how you have discussed the events of 2020 thus far. As others have said, hearing you talk about the actions you’ve taken, the educational resources you’ve sought out, or the many emotions you are going through is encouraging and helpful. I see your blog as a best friend I chat with. Sometimes we talk about the big heavy things in the news and use eachother as accountability so our words match our actions. To support eachother to be better people. And sometimes we discuss a new haircut or sale we saw. Its a balance of conversations like I feel your content is.
You have somehow been able to manage both the lifestyle content and more serious issues going on in our world with class, courage and realness. I read a lot of blogs and have for years, but I come to yours religiously every day because of how you have been able to genuinely connect with your readers. It never has come across as phony and I think that makes you a rarity in your business and also, why you have done so well. Keep doing what you’re doing, which is staying you. I so appreciate your voice whether it be sharing about your wedding or resources in regards to important issues effecting us all!
Thank you for sharing!
Carly – you are doing a great job. This blog is my outlet, respite and refuge away from the news. I, and here I only speak for myself, feel overwhelmed that now my life day and night seems to be occupied with reading, discussing, and acting upon injustice after injustice, chaos and insanity, world problems at large. I genuinely feel as if we all need to give ourselves a break, we are allowed to look at a dress online or read a story about needlepoint. You are doing an amazing good keeping up with current events, bringing it to you blog in meaningful ways.
Carly you do a wonderful job with your blog I look forward to your posts
Carly ~ I have always enjoyed the lifestyle side of your blog. But it’s this past year that has shown what a mature, thoughtful person you are. I’m old enough to be your mom {but let’s just say older sister} : ) and yet I have appreciated and learned from many of your pandemic and current events posts. And I echo what another commenter said, it’s important that we speak up ~ especially now. There’s an amazing quote that I keep thinking of and I hope it encourages you to keep using your platform. “There are times when you must speak, not because you are going to change the other person, but because if you don’t speak, they have changed you.”
Very belated, but: I am Black and have been reading your blog for more than half a decade (that feels crazy to write), and I don’t think I have ever left a comment.
That said, I’m leaving one here because it was really, really heartening to see that you started this post with Breonna Taylor. And a little surprising, if I’m honest, because so many bloggers in your space have chosen not to acknowledge these events. And they can, because they come from a place of privilege and most of their audience does, and most of this doesn’t really affect their everyday life.
But I can’t ignore this stuff. And seeing others do so leaves me feeling *so* invisible, especially in this moment, and like what I’m experiencing doesn’t exist or doesn’t matter. It’s painful and sad and also a dereliction of our responsibility to care for others in our community and country. Those are blogs that I’ve since stopped visiting.
I do come to your blog for positivity and a little bit of an escape, but acknowledging the things going on in the world is also important to anchor the blog to reality, and –because i think you do care about this– to educate and actually help your readers. I think you’re doing a great job and this post was a really balanced but heartening way of addressing this stuff.
Reading this post made me feel really seen and made me feel like you get it, and I just wanted to say how much I appreciate that.
I, too, have been feeling conflicted about this. I want to do the most and contribute to making our world a better place. With that said, I have also started feeling like social media is yelling at me all the time. I go to social and blogs for a break from the world, to consume enjoyable content. It’s not putting my head in the sand, it’s taking a break.
I am wondering why the Louisville Community Bail Fund is a good place to give money? How does that relate to Breonna Taylor’s situation?
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.courier-journal.com/amp/3485320001
I really appreciate how you have addressed current events this year. I was raised in the “it’s not polite to talk politics” kind of house but I’ve realized that it’s my privilege to not need to talk about politics since I’m less negatively impacted by much of the system. I think you’ve really exemplified diving into that space even when it’s not always comfortable or when you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. I appreciate the non-current event related content you have and think you should continue to post that, but with a platform and the influence you have I think it’s important to use this to talk about important issues that matter. Readers trust you and I think you have the genuine ability to change minds.
Hi Carly: Please know I tune in to your blog because I know in the pandemic you are my anchor of calm. I can read the news anywhere. I can tune into a podcast or TV to learn the latest. But here, in your space, my feet are up, head tilted back on the couch, a mango seltzer nearby, and I pull aside the curtain of your life and take a peek at how you’re dealing with the pandemic. You’re enjoying your home, meals, some needlework, your dogs, books that leave an impact…and I think, after a long day, Look, she’s keeping it together, I can too. I find strength here. A small life is nourishing at this time. These are the current cards we have been dealt with, all of us. So please keep being that anchor of calm for me and others…it is truly answering a need!