RORY’S BIRTH STORY

Rory Patrick Riordan was born on February 14, 2024 in Morristown, New Jersey. 

I have always loved reading birth stories. I wrote my own for Jack’s birth two and a half years ago and I can’t believe it’s time to share the birth story of our second son Rory, who entered the world on Valentine’s Day.

I still think about Jack’s birth nearly every day– it is imprinted in me– and I have a feeling Rory’s will be no different. They were two totally unique births though. While Jack’s birth was completely “uneventful,” I had a lot to unpack with how it unfolded. I had never been in the hospital before as a patient (besides my own birth) and I didn’t know what to expect. In a way, that was a good thing. I went in naive and with zero preconceived notions about how labor and delivery would go.

This time around, I was nervous. My pregnancy with Rory was a little more complicated than mine with Jack and the last six weeks of my pregnancy was filled with personal sadness and stress as we handled our precious Hamilton’s illness. I also had a miscarriage early last year and I think I was just constantly waiting for something bad to happen– I held my breath the entire time. There were a series of misfortunate events as well. Days after I found out I was pregnant with Rory I got super sick and was taken to the hospital in an ambulance– and while it turned out to be unrelated to the pregnancy, it scared me quite badly. Then I severe food poisoning before my first doctor’s appointment. Then I got hit by very rough morning sickness. Then I found out I had a complete placenta previa that didn’t resolve until the very last minute (36 weeks!). To say I was a basket of nerves would be an understatement.

I think because of everything going on, I had a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I was actually having a baby. I just felt “pregnant” (and scared). I knew I was having a baby, obviously, but also… it didn’t feel real? Or I couldn’t let myself go there.

Despite all of the ups and downs of my pregnancy, one thing was abundantly clear… I knew I made the right decision to change OBGYN practices. The practice I was with for my pregnancy with Jack was not great. I should have trusted my gut and left when I started getting off vibes. (I think it’s worth mentioning that not a single doctor who was there when I was a patient remains at the practice and they changed hospital affiliations.) This new-to-me practice (Madison Ave OBGYN if you’re local) was incredible throughout my miscarriage and I knew I was in good hands. Sometimes you can’t even put your finger on the differences other than to know in your bones that you’re surrounded by the best medical professionals who care about their patients’ wellbeing. Every person from the front desk staff to the nurses to the nurse practitioners to the doctors are the best of the best. I know they see hundreds of patients every week, but you don’t feel like you’re just on a conveyor belt being pushed through “the system.”

Because of the placenta previa, I was going into MFM for extra scans, which was both reassuring (baby was looking great!) and nerve-wracking (the previa persisted!). I was doing everything I could to avoid bleeding and to hopefully try to get my placenta to shift. I went on pelvic rest, limited my work outs, avoided heavy lifting as much as possible, started going to acupuncture, etc. I even did about 20 minutes of positive thinking/biofeedback trying to bargain with my placenta. You name it, I was trying it.

At 36 weeks, I was finally cleared for a vaginal, full term delivery. I had spent months trying to wrap my head around an early c-section (with placenta previa the risk of hemorrhaging during a vaginal delivery is too dangerous so you have to have an early c-section to avoid going into labor). And then I had to re-wrap my head around going another four weeks (at least) of pregnancy and a vaginal delivery again. It was ultimately what I wanted, but I had to change gears completely!

Then at 38 weeks, I took a nasty fall (thankfully avoiding my bump, but it still shook me up) and Hamilton’s health was rapidly declining and we were dealing with other health issues at home…. When I went in for my 38 week appointment, I felt horrible. A raging headache, blurred vision, slightly elevated blood pressure…. so I got sent to Labor and Delivery out of an abundance of caution. I was 99% sure I was just extremely stressed and probably having a migraine. It ended up being a blessing in disguise because the hospital was so calm. The mood was completely different than when I went in after my water broke with Jack. It was peaceful. It was calm. For lack of any other word, I felt safe. Everything ended up being completely fine and I was sent home with a clean bill of health, but I really left feeling so much better about returning to the hospital. I actually don’t think I realized how much of my anxiety around labor was wrapped up in the hospital experience until I saw first hand that it didn’t have to be a hectic, stressful environment. I also got to see my OBGYN in the hospital setting and she was so kind and understanding. (Honestly, I was embarrassed that I was there and clearly not in labor or at any risk that a little Tylenol and a nap couldn’t fix.) I left feeling confident in a sense– again, that I had chosen a great OBGYN practice and that the hospital could be calm.

Fast forward to the Super Bowl Sunday and I started having real contractions. I was convinced I was having a baby that day! They were getting closer and closer together and increasing in intensity. We went to our friends’ house to watch the game and I was completely distracted thinking I was giving birth in hours….. and then at 11pm the contractions stopped! I went to bed, slept great, and woke up feeling normal pregnant again. Baby was kicking away, but now had zero contractions. I couldn’t believe it. I had my 40 week check up on Tuesday the 13th (the day before my due date) slightly dilated but not really. I was resigning myself that I was going to end up having the baby at 41+ weeks.

Throughout that afternoon though, I started to feel contractions again…. So much so that we boarded Teddy, dropped Jack off at my sister in law’s house, and went home to get ready to go into the hospital. I showered and dried my hair, we had a light dinner, and then I called it in. My doctor had me come to the hospital to get checked out and we were admitted around 9pm. From there things moved fast. It actually moved so quickly that I don’t even have a very good read on a timeline, so the following is to the best of my knowledge:

I was put on Pitocin around midnight and then the doctor came in and broke my waters (very painful!). The nurse came in and said they were about to start a c-section surgery so if I wanted an epidural, I’d have to do it asap or else wait about two hours. I loved my epidural with Jack, so I was like, “sure, let’s do it now!” The anesthesiologist came in what felt like minutes later and he popped the epidural in so quickly. It did hurt more this time I think? But he did such a great job explaining exactly what he was doing and when and why and how that I was truly in awe of his expertise and was completely distracted from the pain. It started to work pretty immediately. I did have a reaction to it where my blood pressure bottomed out a few times– that was kind of scary just because I felt so sick. (At one point, it felt like I was about to float out of my body straight to heaven I was so out of it.) The nurse gave me three rounds of some kind of medication and my blood pressure finally leveled out and then we were smooth sailing again.

A foley balloon was placed at some point around then…. honestly can’t remember since I was so relaxed and pain free from the epidural.

At 2am, we heard the woman next door give birth– I sobbed listening to the miracle! It felt like a preview of what was to come for us. The nurse came in and said, “okay you’ll be ready to push in about two hours we think!” Because I was in labor for so long with Jack that this felt absolutely insane to me. What do you mean two hours, we just got here!!!!

Sure enough, a little more than two hours later, everyone starts coming in. The foley balloon is removed, and I’m ready to push.

I am going to have a hard time articulating how magical Rory’s delivery felt to me. Jack’s was so painful and I was exhausted and overwhelmed and, looking back, I felt incredibly confused by the whole process. This time, everything felt “right,” in large part due to my incredible doctor, the resident assisting her, and the two nurses who were with us (one from pediatrics and one for me). Mike was amazing again, too. Just so helpful and supportive. Because we had done this before, he knew what I needed instinctually and was able to tell me exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. My doctor was able to help coach me through the pushes and she worked with me to get the right pushing technique down. Once we got into a good rhythm, it just felt…. amazing?

I always thought labor was just something to endure, but this felt euphoric and so good. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard and it hurt (even with the epidural), but it felt so right. I felt in control of my body in a way I absolutely did not the first time. After a little bit, they said to stop pushing because he was right there and they started to gear up to catch the baby…. but I had to keep pushing. I blacked out for this part with Jack and I’m so glad I didn’t this time because it felt miraculous and the memory of it will stay with me forever.

The pressure was intensifying and intensifying…. and then….. BABY!

It was pure magic. Rory Patrick Riordan was here! He weighed eight pounds fourteen ounces (just one ounce more than Jack!) and was absolutely perfect to me.

We had a beautiful two hours doing skin to skin before we moved to the mother/baby room. I wasn’t sure if it was just the medication, but I felt shockingly well. I was standing almost immediately and was able to pee right away…. I felt so good I almost couldn’t believe it.

Everything went so well that although I had him just before 6am on Wednesday, we were walking out of the hospital at noon on Thursday. We were home at 12:15! It was wild and surreal and I couldn’t believe that I just walked out holding a newborn and we were on our way. I still kept waiting to feel the pain, but it never came. With Jack, I felt like I had been struck by a bus (everything hurt for weeks) and this time I felt completely normal. The “worst” of the pain was sore arms– from pulling my knees during labor– and then the uterine cramping that occurs with breastfeeding. Nothing Tylenol couldn’t address though. It felt like I was pregnant for fourteen months that the already quick delivery felt exceptionally fast when we were really only in the hospital for a grand total of 40ish hours!

It’s been a much smoother transition and, well, so far, so good. Jack is loving big brother life and we’ve been in the newborn bubble just enjoying the snuggles and coos that newborns do best. Maybe it’s just the nature of second children…. we know how fast it goes so we are soaking it all up!