As I read this post from Maxie McCoy to queue up for today, I kept nodding and nodding and nodding. I’ve let fear hold me back and have used these tactics too. They work. I’d even add that they work for asking for something, but also translate to just getting sh!t done.
Scared to Ask For Something? 4 Pieces of Encouragement for Doing it Anyways
Guest post by Maxie McCoy
Being scared to ask for something is a normal feeling. For all of us, it reverts us back to the younger days of needing a parent’s permission to go sleepover at our besties house. The feelings of making that ask are the same regardless of how old we are and what we’re asking for – nervous, hopeful, scared. These days (the more grown up ones) the things we ask for have a bit more weight and aren’t quite as trivial. Just this week there was something that I really needed someone to say YES to, but I was super scared of asking. It was one part favor, part good opportunity. But I was nervous, and I kept putting it off. Finally, I gave myself a deadline while talking to a friend about the situation. I’d ask the next day and report back to her.
Want to know what happen? I got a big ole YES. And I spent the next hour wondering what I spent all those days freaking out about. But this is what happens when we want something and when we really think we deserve it or think it’d be a good thing: we get allllll up in our heads and truly make a mountain out of a molehill.
Maybe there’s something you want that you haven’t been asking for: your roommate to be cleaner? Your partner to be home earlier? Your parents to come out and visit? Your boss to pay you more? Your friend to go on that trip with you? Think about the things you’ve been quiet about and then think about this:
Planning helps the fear
If you feel like just because you’re scared means, you shouldn’t ask you’re so so wrong. Talk to anyone who has made a bold request, and they’ll tell you that they were probably totally nervous and worried about doing it. What will help you get out of your head is planning for it and having a conversation with your fear. (Made a whole workbook about this which is all yours here)
It’s a muscle you gotta flex
Asking for things you want, which also means stepping into what can feel like an uncomfortable conversation, gets better with time. You get more comfortable in the discomfort. You know that every time you flex it, you get stronger regardless of the outcome. Build the muscle of asking for what you deserve in life. Starting today.
You won’t get if you don’t ask
Queen Oprah says that “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.” And boy, I could not agree more. If you want life to be big, fruitful, daring, and beautiful, there’s a lot you’ll have to step into your value and worthiness to ask for. You’ll have to step into the unknown and the discomfort and ask anyways. Because if you don’t ask you don’t get.
Discomfort Won’t Kill You
Despite how intense that anxiety might feel at the mere thought of asking for that thing that you want, it won’t kill you. It’s just a little bit of discomfort that you’re experiencing. This too will pass. But the discomfort is a sign that you feel it. That you want it. And the best way to honor that and yourself is to speak up and ask for it. You can do this, this asking thing. Remember these pieces of encouragement from someone who’s been where you’ve been. And if you want to plan it out and go deeper on your prep, don’t forget this
You can do this, this asking thing. Remember these pieces of encouragement from someone who’s been where you’ve been. And if you want to plan it out and go deeper on your prep, don’t forget this workbook is all yours. Trust me, though, regardless of the outcome; you’ll never regret asking for something you want or deserve.