Someone tweeted at me saying they were sad that I was bashing on New York City! Truly, my goal while posting about my move to Connecticut and why that move made the most sense for me was to stay positive about the city. Even though my time in New York ran out, it doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy the three years. Yes, there were things that sucked, but I would have found that pretty much anywhere else. I loved living NYC and wouldn’t change that for anything.
I thought I’d share the six best things I learned while living in the city.
ONE // It’s a Small World
Even though Manhattan is jam packed with people and it seems like such a big city, it’s really a small town. Not a day (no exaggeration here) went by without running into someone that I knew. At the coffee shop, down the street while walking Teddy, on the subway. I saw people from my hometown, my parents’ friends, and tons of fellow Hoyas. (Six Georgetown grads lived within a block of my apartment… that I know of.) This to me was one of the unexpected perks of living to NYC. I thought I’d move there and feel alone and instead, I found myself recognizing friends everywhere.
However, this is one of those things that goes two ways. While it was wonderful to bump into friends, there’s a negative side of this small world. It’s a small world. You NEVER know who is listening into your conversation on the subway. You can never truly escape that guy you went on a bad date with. And you never know who you’ll end up working with again. Also, you should assume that what you say on Twitter will get back to your boss, regardless of your “tweets my own” tagline.
I learned that while you can turn your back and walk away from a bridge, it’s a really good idea to not burn it.
TWO // A Smile Goes a Long Way
The simplest thing in the world: a smile. In New York, it seems like there’s an epidemic with smile shortages. If you’re having a bad day, force a smile even if you don’t want to. If you feel like someone else is having a bad day (like the cashier who snaps at you), force the smile too.
I feel like people don’t like to look each other in the eye in the city, but I can tell you from experience that if you smile, good things will follow. Sometimes people are just waiting for someone else to take the lead.
It pays off in the long run too. Befriend your UPS guy, smile at your taxi driver when you’re getting in the cab, walk into work every day with a smile.
Smiles have the ability to change attitudes– yours and those around you. Don’t ration your smiles, they’re free.
THREE // Don’t Ask for Anything (Do Your Research)
This is something that sounds kind of harsh, but I can’t tell you how valuable it is. Never, ever ask for anything. (Okay, I can imagine some exceptions to this rule, haha but go with it.) Instead of asking for something, offer to help. Eventually the tables will turn and you’ll be able to squeeze your ask in.
People, especially busy people, are way more likely to help you when you’ve helped them. The offer should be specific and direct, which requires research. An “I would love to help!” comment doesn’t carry any value or weight… especially if you add, “I’ll do anything!” This, although you might not have realized it, would create work for the other person as he or she would have to figure out what your interests are and what you can actually do.
(I also feel like I should clarify, an offer might be indirect as well. If you show up to class every day and help lead discussions by asking insightful questions, you might consider that you’ve “offered” something to your professor. Asking for a recommendation letter would be okay. If you’ve been consistently doing great work and even going a bit above the call of duty to help your boss, asking for a raise is not out of the question…. etc.)
FOUR // Hard Work and Work is Hard
Hard work is important and work can be hard. I don’t mean that work should feel like a chore, but there are going to be challenging moments. If you’re not facing those challenging moments frequently, you’re not growing. I think one of my hardest work moments was when I went from a team of one (me) to a team of two (me and one other girl) to a team of five within four short months. Not only that, but I was managing the team. I was 23, one year out of college, and managing a team. It was incredibly hard. However, I had a great support system and came out okay. Was it a perfect situation with perfect results, no. But I learned a lot.
Also, doing something is better than doing nothing, but you shouldn’t get stuck in a rut. Don’t let your second job, like waitressing, that you need for income affect your day job because you stayed out way too late the night before. And don’t let the fear of not having a job hold you back from making career moves. I know of multiple people who have fallen off the path because they either focused on the wrong job or simply quit without a backup plan and are waiting for something “right.” The right thing will always come along if you stick with it and keep moving forward. Take the job that will help you maintain your employment and income, but figure out a way it can advance your career. Maybe the job isn’t ideal, but you get off work at 6pm which allows you to take online courses at night. Sitting around doing nothing will get you exactly that: nothing.
FIVE // Walking Does Wonders
“When in doubt, walk it out” should be my new motto. There are moments when I feel like crawling into a ball, either out of exhaustion or frustration (or both). But that accomplishes nothing. While a nap sometimes is called for, a brisk walk does wonders. Having Teddy really helped me grasp that as I take him out during the work day. I’d feel energized even returning from a short ten minute walk!
Walking helps keep the blood flowing and brain on, while also providing some time away from the computer. And unlike a run or regular workout, you won’t need to shower.
SIX // Moderation is Key
I saved the best for last. In a city full of temptation, moderation is key. Over-exercising is just as bad as not exercising at all. Eating all the sweets is just as harmful as not eating at all. It’s a balancing act. Moderation is important when it comes to: work, eating, exercising, drinking, relationships, resting… everything really.
xoxo
Awesome insights! I feel like these are totally things that you would have learned embarking on new adventures after college, wherever you may have ended up, but perhaps New York amplified them for you. They're very similar to things I learned my first few years out of university!
Sarah
Sweet Spontaneity
Great tips! You're making me want to visit NYC. My perfect amount of time in that great city. 🙂
Her Heartland Soul
http://herheartlandsoul.com
Moderation really is key to the city lifestyle! Love the truths you shared about hard work.
I love the coat you are wearing, Carly. It's really cute 🙂
http://memoriesofthepacific.blogspot.com.es/
Love this post, Carly, especially the tip about moderation.
Ellen | A Pop of Pink
It's my dream – to visit NY. I enjoy films made there, those buildings, people… I read about this amazing city on smartcustomwriting.com blog, with advices and tips on how to write an essay about any city.
Thank you, Carly!
Regards, Gloria.
I totally agree with how a smile goes a long way! I grew up in the south and I'm so used to smiling and chatting with strangers, that being in New York was a bit of a shock. But I've still kept up my smiling game up!
http://thecourtneydiaries.com
I couldn't agree more with #2. Nothing makes me more upset than when I smile at someone and they don't reciprocate….like you said, it's free! And #5 reminded me that I should probably get up from my desk more often than I do!
26 and Not Counting
Great points! I feel like a walk helps me get through the day, and I can come back to work feeling invigorated and ready to tackle the afternoon.
http://www.livinginsteil.com
Vanessa
It really is a small world here. I'm always running into someone or someone who knows someone I know.
These are such fabulous tips, Carly!! These can apply to anywhere, not just NYC. I love it:)
xoxo
Grace Anne // http://totallygraced.blogspot.com/
Walking really does do wonders! Love the insight and hope you are enjoying your new home!
Lauren,
http://www.atouchofsoutherngrace.com/
You weren't bashing NYC at all Carly! I thought your post was incredibly honest and explained why you were ready for a change :)! I just moved to the city a few months ago and these are tips I will definitely keep in mind!
I would love to hear more about your thoughts on the third one, Don't Ask for Anything (Do Your Research). A post on this would be really interesting!
Your post about moving didn't really seem to have a negative tone to me… but I really appreciated this one too! I can especially relate to #3 and #4. I think those two things were the hardest for me to learn as a post-grad.
Would love to discuss a collaboration but don't seem to see an email address to contact. I can be reached at [email protected]. Thanks & welcome to CT!
All of these are so true! I interned in NYC and constantly ran into people I knew from college at the most random places. I also agree with the moderation. NYC has so much to offer that it can be overwhelming, but you have to learn to limit what you can!
-Nicole
Meet Me in Midtown
I agree with all your points! I couldn't believe how much I would repeatedly run into people I didn't even know this summer….multiple times, in the most random places.
www anayo-ordu.com
I love this and I agree with each of these! As a recent grad in the city I'm still learning a lot about the crazy work environment and high expectations in this city. Thanks for sharing!
I love this and I agree with each of these! As a recent grad in the city I'm still learning a lot about the crazy work environment and high expectations in this city. Thanks for sharing!
I love this so much. <3 xo
I'm going to be starting college soon. I've been living in a suburb my whole life and now I'm moving to San Diego (a semi big city). I'll definitely keep some of these lessons in mind, but I was thinking that maybe you could do a post for girls just about to start college and your ideas on that. Something other than the same old "get involved!" and "mange your time!" I would absolutely love that!
xo Shawndiz http://vogueintuition.weebly.com
I love this post! I was born and raised in the Bronx, but really only went there to sleep. Just like most people who live in the boroughs, almost every day was spent somewhere in Manhattan. It was very rough and I could never live there again. There are things about New York that I absolutely hate… but I wouldn't change my life if I could. I love being a New Yorker by nature and I know that foundation has led me to many great places in life because of the valuable lessons you learn in that unique city. Cheers!