I always like to be honest around here. I’m just as willing to share the “low” moments as I am about the “highs” in my life. Not complaining, but life has been pretty good around here. Not perfect, but very good. Like fall asleep happy and content kind of good. (I swear, 25 might just be the best age.)
One thing that I think that’s contributing to this feeling of content is how I’ve been approaching big decisions. Decisions have always been a part of my life and they always feel monumental at the time: drama or chorus as my high school elective, UVa or Georgetown, what to major in, corporate job or startup life, do I quit my job, etc… Now that I think of it, making decisions is just a part of life. It’s not what the decision is, it’s how you approach the decision.
Making up your mind about something, deciding to change course, or simply figuring out what you want (or need) to do can be stressful and at the very least overwhelming.
And the worst part???
That feeling after you finally (actually) make the decision. It’s like buyer’s remorse, for your life. I used to spend days agonizing over the “what ifs” of the decision I ultimately chose. I used to take 45 minute showers to think aka drive myself crazy thinking about whether or not I made a mistake. I would spend days questioning what could happen. I also discovered an amazing skill to come up with 32,938 possible, disastrous scenarios.
Of course, I’ll never really know if what could have been. It’s not a mistake, it’s a new reality. And even if one of the 32,938 scenarios came true, 32,937 will not.
Instead of this self-imposed torture is totally not worth it. It takes some getting used to and it has kind of turned into a little mantra for me, but now I think, “I’ll take what happens as it comes” for the post-decision anxiety.
In the best situation, that is your decision making was spot on, worrying would have been pointless. In the worst situation where you could have chosen something better, you can deal with what happens… when it happens. You can always change course, you can always face and overcome a problem, and you haven’t ruined your life. (I promise, you really haven’t ruined your life!!)
So, take a deep breath. Trust your gut, make the decision… and handle any issues as they come. When they come. Don’t worry about if they will come.
xoxo
Such a sweet and well timed post! I just made a huge decision about which graduate job to take and after committing myself to one I keep overthinking and analysing whether I should have taken the other. I'll definitely take your advice on board to just take the future as it comes.
What a good post! Most of us have the tendency to overthink decisions and then worry about the potential repercussions, but you are right that we have to deal with that when it comes and it is just a waste of energy in the meantime. I will definitely keep this in mind, especially now that I'm coming upon making internship decisions!
Alyssa J Freitas
Thanks for this! I have been struggling with some life decisions lately… It's hard to know what you want and even if you know and get it, what you want might not be what you thought it would be. But I keep reminding myself that's what our 20's are for right? Figuring out life!
xo
Lexi
the-streetsofgold.com
I am much older than your average reader and recently made a career decision that was very difficult. I worried and continue to worry about what is next. I knew I had to make a change. I believe in trusting your gut but need to stop thinking about the 32,938 things that can go wrong as well!!! I will try to remember to handle things when they come, not to worry about what might come. It's not any easier in your 50's! Thank you for such an honest and heartfelt post. Needed this today. Carly- realize you reach others with your kind words. Thank you.
Great post!
Trusting your gut is sometimes difficult, but usually turns out to be the best decision. Thank you for this post.
xo,
Amanda
Affordable by Amanda
Weird, we have never heard you mention UVa.
I sincerely hope this has nothing to do with the recent tragedies in our area, and you trying to gain interest because of it.
I have buyers remorse about everything. When I have to make a big decision I pray first and try and make the best choice I can with the information thats provided.
Morgan Paige
http://www.mygorgeouschaos.com
I love your honesty! We won't know the ifs/coulds for every decisions. Enjoy the decisions you have made.
Fie x Coffee & Confetti
This is exactly what I needed today! You always hit the nail on the head xx
Emily
http://www.workinggirlafterhours.com
A great thought! I always tend to avoid making decisions because i know about the anxiety that always seems to plague me after. I just needed to trust that I have a good head on my shoulders.
I love this! Making decisions always gives me such anxiety so next time I have to make one I will definitely revisit this!
Kristin
Crumbs & Curls
Well… 25 for me has been a little sucky. I do a lot of thinking about what my life could have been like if I had made different decisions about what to major in, or what university to go to, or what job I should have taken. It's pointless because, like you said, you can't change the past and you can't know what could have happened when it didn't.
I definitely needed to read this at this exact moment! Big decisions can be difficult, but are a very integral part of crafting the life that you want to live.
Sarah
Sweet Spontaneity
Love the post thanks for sharing
Ambreen
http://blog.shoplinkz.com/win-ipad-air2/
Thank you for sharing- this was just what I needed to hear today. Glad things are going well for you and I hope they continue that way!
This what EXACTLY what I needed to hear all week – I only wish I had read it sooner. I am probably going to re-read this constantly over the next few days. thank you for giving me a new mantra!
xo
Olivia
prepessentials.blogspot.com
Making big decisions would always give me horrible anxiety, and post-decision, I'd have even more anxiety about if I made the RIGHT decision! After college though, something changed and I approached decisions with a level head and decided that there was no point in worrying over a decision that I'd invested good energy and time into. The universe has a way of making everything work out 🙂