normal. While I really do try to keep things fun & light on here, this is
something that has been on my mind recently. (I also think that it’s something
a lot of young women struggle with, or at the very least, think about often.)
everything?” or “How do you maintain a work-life balance?” come up during
almost every single Office Hours. And honestly, those are the questions I want
to hear answered most.
but I can’t stop thinking about it. Will my career ambitions allow me to have
children? Would I be a stay-at-home mom (as my mom was) or would I have my
husband stay home or would we both work and have a nanny? How old will I be
when having children makes financial, personal, and career sense? Do I even
want to have children?
away. And I don’t expect that I will ever completely know concretely. No matter
what happens, I realize there will have to be some sort of sacrifice. It’s just
which aspect of my life will outweigh the other, therefore becoming my priority
and diminishing the feeling of “sacrifice.”
that I wanted to be a mom. My mom was the best mom. My sister and I always had
“afterschool snacks” and an art supply collection that blew the rest of the
families in our neighborhood out of the water. Stacy and I had free reign to
explore, create, and learn right there beside our mom. We both definitely have
an intense, super close bond with our mom that is more akin to friendship than
being a mom is more than just a commitment. And it’s super personal for
everyone involved. (By that I mean that there are no right or wrong answers,
you must do what works for you. Just because it works for one doesn’t mean it
will work for another.) I started to get it in my head that I would rather not
have children. I was focused on school and very invested in starting my company
and growing as a writer. I couldn’t see children ever fitting into the
lifestyle I dreamed of having as “an adult.”
this thing called the Real World. Quickly, my feelings about children were
being torn in every which way. I have this sneaking suspicion that I’m never going
to leave NYC, ever. So I’d see these moms pushing high-tech, compact strollers
around and think, “Oh, I’m going to turn into one of these Manhattan Moms.”
Simultaneously, I was also thinking about how I was so excited to see my career
unfolding and wasn’t sure how a family would fit into the picture.
gut-wrenching experiences. The first was seeing my beautiful next-door
neighbors. I’ve babysat the three of them since they were born. Jacob is now (omg!)
in the double digits. Abby has a boatload of grownup teeth shifting their way
into her smile. And Izzy doesn’t have an ounce of baby left in her; she’s a
long and strong four year old with a personality that fills the room. All I
could think was, “When did this happen?” For over ten years, I’ve always had a baby in my life with their family.
Literally since I was in middle school, there’s always been a baby (and even a
puppy) to care for. And now they’re all grown up! That was the first time I
missed having some sort of baby/toddler around. Although, it should go without
saying… it’s been incredible to see them grow up and turn into amazing
individuals. (I’m not too sure how I feel about Jacob creeping up to eye level
Holding that teeny tiny nugget of a human being was the best feeling. I don’t
think I’ve held a baby that small since Abby was born (because Izzy was born
when I was at college). It was the best feeling in the world.
possibility (and frankly the desire) of having children. Not now, but
eventually. I know there are millions of factors (particularly ‘timing’) that
go into the decision making of starting of family, I think I’m way more open
and excited about it than I ever was before.
now and that I’m not sure what the future holds, but I’m excited either way.