5 Lies You’re Telling Yourself About Your 20s

It’s another Monday, which means it’s another Maxie Monday! This post is particularly one of my favorites because they’re all things Max and I talk about. We gchat all the time and consult and console each other based on what we’re both going through– and we are both going through this all! I was so so so happy that Max was in NYC this past week. We sat on the floor, played with Teddy, and talked and talked, and talked. These five things? Definitely lies. 😉
Our twenties have always been glorified. From the time you snag that drivers license or begin life in a dorm room, the decade-to-come seems to have a magic halo around it. 20! In your twenties, you think that you’ll finally have it figured out. From boys to finances to work and friendships, you believe that your twenties will hold the answers. Because darnit, you’ll finally be a young professional, living on your own, roaring through life like a flapper with her pearls. 
And indeed, you will, but let’s just say there are a few things that you’ve been telling yourself about your twenties which are just plain lies. 
You’ll Break Those Bad Habits
You won’t. Or maybe you will. But it won’t be any easier at 25 than it will be right now. If you think you’re going to finally stop using fillers in your sentences, or break that awful habit of biting your nails…and that it’ll magically happen because you’re of age…you’re dreaming girlfriend. It takes the same willpower and focus to break those habits now as it will in 5 or 10 years. How do I know? Because I’m still twirling my hair.
Stick to Your Goals
I’m a huge believer in goal setting, as I mentioned when I told you about my Moleskine musts. Goals are super important in setting an intention with your life. But sticking to them can be a huge mistake. Sometimes, exciting things in life will show up for you that you never planned on, and that weren’t a part of your goals or your five year life plan. And it is totally okay to follow these exciting new adventures, even if you had never considered your life taking you to that city, dating that guy, doing that work, or going on that journey. “Stick to your goals” was the biggest lie I was telling myself, which I wrote all about on my blog.
Love Gets Easier
It doesn’t get easier like I thought it would. Heartbreak still hurts. Guys still let you down. You’ll still go on horrible dates. You’ll still be scared to tell him you want to be his girlfriend. But with every door closed and with every bad date, you’ll be getting closer and closer to learning exactly what you do want and who you prefer to be spending your precious time with. But love, even in its highest highs, still has its terrible lows. Arm yourself with plenty of wine, soul-tending spotify playlists, and even better girlfriends, and remember…it’s OK because this is all a part of your beautiful journey.
You’ll Finally Feel Like an Adult
Correction, you feel more confused than ever. You won’t be a teen, but yet you won’t be into fully settled adulthood. You’ll be mid way through your twenties and still wondering when you’ll feel like you’ve fully embraced being on your own and not having all the answers. But here’s a big secret: no one else will have it all figured out either. And the best thing you can do is find a community of people who support and love you. Find your tribe of galpals so that you can easily talk to about the crazy challenges and curveballs thrown to you post-college. And more than anything, know that it is OK to feel lost, confused, or behind. You’ll find your way. You’ll just take about 11 left-hand turns before you get there. Embrace them.
You Won’t Cry as Much
You might even cry more. I’m a crier so I might be a bit biased, but I cry more today than I did 8 years ago because I’m more in touch my vulnerability, and even more OK with that than ever. I know that crying means processing. It means I’m really feeling my circumstances and moving through it. I own my elephant tears, revel in them behind closed doors. I let everything from joy to sorrow to frustration to be fully felt, and then left behind, washed far away by tears. So if you think big girls don’t cry, think again and grab the kleenex.
I thought I would have all of this figured out by now, but I don’t. And I know that’s OK. Hopefully debunking these little lies you’re likely telling yourself will help expedite the process of being the best, most confident 20-something you can be. 

Say Hello

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Julia Jean Kennedy

At the age of 22, I'm already crying twice as much as I was four years ago. It doesn't matter that it's during every single episode of Grey's Anatomy, but I'm pretty proud of myself!

Alyssa J.

This is exactly what I needed to read this morning! I always tell people that I'm 22 and still trying to find my place in this world! I thought I would have my life figured out by now…but boy was I wrong! Thank you for such an inspirational post! Happy Monday!


It doesn't get easier as you approach your thirties. I'm still trying to find a job that is adequate to my qualifications (with a masters and a post masters advanced certificate) Boys get even harder, and I find, to my surprise, meeting new friends, not acquaintances, gets harder. Ehhh life…

Jessica Joyce

Very interesting. In other words, 20's suck? But it's the best time of our life. I recently wrote about this big deal about turning "TWENTY." Although I think it depends on the person's mindset, I don't think I'll ever grow out of my childhood behavior.
Your Friend, Jess


This is perfect, I couldn't have said it better. Now that I'm over the mid-twenties hump (gulp!) and closer to thirty, I've been feeling these all so much!


Really enjoyed this post!!.. I'm one of these people that dreads getting older.. trying to break old habits and try new things os so difficult. Being a fan of blogs myself, I finally bit the bullet and started my own blog about my adventures and thoughts and I have bloggers like you to thank for it! 🙂 Would love if you could check mine out sometime..let me know if i'n on the right track with it maybe? 🙂

Thank you!

A Town and Country Life

I'm a little older than you girls but this article reminded me of when I was in my 20's. I graduated at 21, moved to London, and got married a few months later. We worked hard, had some great friends, were very happy but life was a struggle. Actually living in a big city at that age is not like it is in the movies. But I don't think we would be where we are now without the experience that we gained during those years. I agree that you need to take opportunities when they arise, we totally veered from our plan but it worked out far better than the life we had dreamed for ourselves. Just work hard, and you'll be surprised what happens next. PS You think that things will mellow out in your 30's but girls that decade is all about babies!