It’s another Monday, which means it’s another Maxie Monday! This post is particularly one of my favorites because they’re all things Max and I talk about. We gchat all the time and consult and console each other based on what we’re both going through– and we are both going through this all! I was so so so happy that Max was in NYC this past week. We sat on the floor, played with Teddy, and talked and talked, and talked. These five things? Definitely lies. 😉
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Our twenties have always been glorified. From the time you snag that drivers license or begin life in a dorm room, the decade-to-come seems to have a magic halo around it. 20! In your twenties, you think that you’ll finally have it figured out. From boys to finances to work and friendships, you believe that your twenties will hold the answers. Because darnit, you’ll finally be a young professional, living on your own, roaring through life like a flapper with her pearls.
And indeed, you will, but let’s just say there are a few things that you’ve been telling yourself about your twenties which are just plain lies.
You’ll Break Those Bad Habits
You won’t. Or maybe you will. But it won’t be any easier at 25 than it will be right now. If you think you’re going to finally stop using fillers in your sentences, or break that awful habit of biting your nails…and that it’ll magically happen because you’re of age…you’re dreaming girlfriend. It takes the same willpower and focus to break those habits now as it will in 5 or 10 years. How do I know? Because I’m still twirling my hair.
Stick to Your Goals
I’m a huge believer in goal setting, as I mentioned when I told you about my Moleskine musts. Goals are super important in setting an intention with your life. But sticking to them can be a huge mistake. Sometimes, exciting things in life will show up for you that you never planned on, and that weren’t a part of your goals or your five year life plan. And it is totally okay to follow these exciting new adventures, even if you had never considered your life taking you to that city, dating that guy, doing that work, or going on that journey. “Stick to your goals” was the biggest lie I was telling myself, which I wrote all about on my blog.
Love Gets Easier
It doesn’t get easier like I thought it would. Heartbreak still hurts. Guys still let you down. You’ll still go on horrible dates. You’ll still be scared to tell him you want to be his girlfriend. But with every door closed and with every bad date, you’ll be getting closer and closer to learning exactly what you do want and who you prefer to be spending your precious time with. But love, even in its highest highs, still has its terrible lows. Arm yourself with plenty of wine, soul-tending spotify playlists, and even better girlfriends, and remember…it’s OK because this is all a part of your beautiful journey.
You’ll Finally Feel Like an Adult
Correction, you feel more confused than ever. You won’t be a teen, but yet you won’t be into fully settled adulthood. You’ll be mid way through your twenties and still wondering when you’ll feel like you’ve fully embraced being on your own and not having all the answers. But here’s a big secret: no one else will have it all figured out either. And the best thing you can do is find a community of people who support and love you. Find your tribe of galpals so that you can easily talk to about the crazy challenges and curveballs thrown to you post-college. And more than anything, know that it is OK to feel lost, confused, or behind. You’ll find your way. You’ll just take about 11 left-hand turns before you get there. Embrace them.
You Won’t Cry as Much
You might even cry more. I’m a crier so I might be a bit biased, but I cry more today than I did 8 years ago because I’m more in touch my vulnerability, and even more OK with that than ever. I know that crying means processing. It means I’m really feeling my circumstances and moving through it. I own my elephant tears, revel in them behind closed doors. I let everything from joy to sorrow to frustration to be fully felt, and then left behind, washed far away by tears. So if you think big girls don’t cry, think again and grab the kleenex.
I thought I would have all of this figured out by now, but I don’t. And I know that’s OK. Hopefully debunking these little lies you’re likely telling yourself will help expedite the process of being the best, most confident 20-something you can be.
xoxo
So true, especially love the one about dating!!!
Thank you for this. I'm about to turn 21 and I feel so overwhelmed already.
At the age of 22, I'm already crying twice as much as I was four years ago. It doesn't matter that it's during every single episode of Grey's Anatomy, but I'm pretty proud of myself!
Being a twenty-something is exciting, but it is really scary! Thank you for sharing your own experiences as you embrace your age. It is encouraging to know that I am not the only one a little conflicted by "young adulthood."
Melanie♥
http://www.athistage.blogspot.com
Yep, all these are pretty true!
I love this post! I'm only 20 and I can relate to all of this.
Aww, this is so cute post. I just turned 24 and I agreed on the number 4 which is you felt like an adult but you still wants to be like those teenagers. Oh 20 something life is so much of fun and learning's. 🙂
love, love,
Yhadz
http://differentchainsoflife.info/
True 🙂 Enjoyed reading this!
Renate from thecuriousklutz.blogspot.dk
This is exactly what I needed to read this morning! I always tell people that I'm 22 and still trying to find my place in this world! I thought I would have my life figured out by now…but boy was I wrong! Thank you for such an inspirational post! Happy Monday!
It doesn't get easier as you approach your thirties. I'm still trying to find a job that is adequate to my qualifications (with a masters and a post masters advanced certificate) Boys get even harder, and I find, to my surprise, meeting new friends, not acquaintances, gets harder. Ehhh life…
You could not be more right about all of this!! Thankfully at 26 I finally broke that terrible nail biting habit! Happy Monday 🙂
http://blovedboston.blogspot.com/
Love this post! Thank you for sharing it.
Very interesting. In other words, 20's suck? But it's the best time of our life. I recently wrote about this big deal about turning "TWENTY." Although I think it depends on the person's mindset, I don't think I'll ever grow out of my childhood behavior.
Your Friend, Jess
This was a great post. Awesome insight and definitely guilty of #1, #2, and #4.
Kolbi | Life With Kolbi
All of these are so true!
Lauren,
http://www.atouchofsoutherngrace.com/
So true! I feel like your 20s can be a trying time!
Kristin
crumbsandcurls.blogspot.com
This is perfect, I couldn't have said it better. Now that I'm over the mid-twenties hump (gulp!) and closer to thirty, I've been feeling these all so much!
This is soooo true, you'll think you'll have it all figured out once college ends but then you really have no idea what to do. I guess we have to take each day as a learning experience!
-Alex
http://www.monstermisa.blogspot.com/
Ohh, this is way, WAY too accurate. Excuse me while I go cry in a corner at work about it (because this happens way too frequently!) 😉
xo Shay
The Curly Casualista
Really enjoyed this post!!.. I'm one of these people that dreads getting older.. trying to break old habits and try new things os so difficult. Being a fan of blogs myself, I finally bit the bullet and started my own blog about my adventures and thoughts and I have bloggers like you to thank for it! 🙂 Would love if you could check mine out sometime..let me know if i'n on the right track with it maybe? 🙂
Thank you!
xo
http://sarannamac.blogspot.it/
I'm a little older than you girls but this article reminded me of when I was in my 20's. I graduated at 21, moved to London, and got married a few months later. We worked hard, had some great friends, were very happy but life was a struggle. Actually living in a big city at that age is not like it is in the movies. But I don't think we would be where we are now without the experience that we gained during those years. I agree that you need to take opportunities when they arise, we totally veered from our plan but it worked out far better than the life we had dreamed for ourselves. Just work hard, and you'll be surprised what happens next. PS You think that things will mellow out in your 30's but girls that decade is all about babies!
🙂
I'm not in my 20's quite yet, but so many of these things still apply as a first year college student!
I love this. I just turned 20 and I've been anticipating what it's going to bring for me. I was dreading it, but this made me feel better a little bit.