I don’t think Maxie’s post this morning could have come at a better time, for me especially. I’ve been really working on body acceptance for the past year or so and I’ve definitely noticed a major difference in the past six months.
I have a couple of early memories of feeling insecure about my body. My best friend growing up was a bean pole and I remember doing splits with her in the basement and noticing that her legs looked “better” than mine when they were smushed against the carpet. (Weird, right?) I think I was seven when that happened and I moved on quickly, but the thought crossed my mind (and apparently stuck). And then I remember hating (really hating) my body the week before sixth grade started. My friend and I went to Gap to get back-to-school clothes and she could fit into adult clothes and I was stuck in adjustable waistband kid jeans. I remember closing the door to the fitting room after seeing how cute she was in her camo pants (seriously…) and how I felt like I looked like a four year old and not a “middle schooler.”
… and then I was a coxswain for seven years. It wasn’t necessarily about being skinny or small, but as a competitive coxswain you have to be at just the right weight. Under the weight minimum so you can make it up with some water chugging before weigh-in. And everyone knows your weight. Women’s weights normally fluctuate throughout the month and I felt like I was under constant surveillance to hit the perfect number week after week. After I quit, I swore off stepping on a scale because it was always such a stressful experience as coxswain.
Beyond those specific notions, there are things I’m more confident about and less confident about. But really in the past six months, I’ve found myself in an accepting and loving place. There are things that aren’t perfect… but there’s a special kind of body love that I’ve been developing. Thanking my legs (actually saying “thank you”) for being strong during a run, whereas before I would bash my legs because I didn’t like how my knees looked. Thanking my arms for being able to carry a toddler or lift my six year old neighbor up for a hug, instead of worrying about a little shake when I move.
It’s also an added magnifying glass with social media. Instead of hearing yourself say things in your head or assuming that people are thinking something, you can legitimately read comments of what people really think about your body. Ugh. I used to be so nervous about posting photos of myself concerned about my “flaws” being exposed to the world. But as I’ve been practicing and exercising my body love and loving (not just accepting) my body for everything that it is, I’ve been more comfortable.
Case in point… The Lilly Pulitzer maxi dress post? I never would have posted those photos a year ago. I never would have worn that dress a year ago! And what a shame too… I love that dress and feel so confident in it now.
This photo? I can hear my “old self” worrying about my chest size and (definitely) my paleness. Now I feel ridiculous for ever having those concerns. Actually, I was thinking about how much time I’ve wasted feeling horrible about my body and it’s absurd. Mornings before high school as I got ready for school changing my outfits seven times. Being in fitting rooms and having a pit in my stomach when I looked in the mirror.
The hardest part about practicing body love was starting. The voices and thoughts would come all the time as they normally would, but I would have to completely stop myself. It was like a battle with the inner thoughts. From there, once I got better about stopping the thoughts, I’d start replacing the thoughts with the “thank yous.” (They go a LONG way. Seriously.) And before I knew it, I was in awe of my body, thankful for what it provides for me, and comfortable in my own skin… Then the love for myself came pouring in! It really did take a year (the first six months being the most difficult) for me, but I’m so glad I started practicing body love.
Have you struggled with body image ever?
xoxo
Very inspiring!!
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Love this! Way to go girl.
Carly you are beautiful! But I know this is something everyone struggles with including myself. You're right – starting is the hardest part!
laurenroseprep.blogspot.com
You're beautiful! As a bride-to-be (in 3 months), I'm struggling with the right balance of looking healthy on my wedding day vs. the expected losing too much weight. But I'm comfortable, so I guess I should just let it go!
Alyssa
http://www.glittertrim.com
I constantly struggle with body image and it's wonderful to hear that someone as gorgeous as you struggles with it as well. I'm starting to learn to become more comfortable in my own skin, but I have my bad days. Rock on, girlie!
semisweetsarah.wordpress.com
C,
Thank you for this post. My first thought when I saw the title was, "she can't talk, she's never been overweight or any worries about her body because she's so beautiful". But as I read your post I realized that truly everyone is susceptible to body image issues. Often what we perceive reflected in the mirror is a lot worst than how others see us. While social media and blogging definitely leaves us open to critics, its also a wonderful moment when we receive the love and the compliments. Your post is a great reminder of how we are all vulnerable, but also beautiful in different and meaningful ways. Thanks for this post-you are beautiful inside and out.
Ha, the funny thing is, when we come to read your blog, we REALLY are looking to see the clothes! You're an added bonus of course, but we really want to see the way the dress lays and it falls! You have nothing to worry about, of course, because there is nothing wrong with your body, but I bet most readers are really looking at the patterns and the fabric and the cut, not your chest!
I had the same problems growing up! I was SO excited to finally be able to wear juniors jeans, and my friends had been wearing them for years. After having cancer, I really struggled with my body image and would wear cardigans to cover surgery scars on my arm, even in the summertime. It's so great to see that someone who seemingly has it all together struggles with the same things that we all do.
I hope you realize how beautiful you are Carly, both outward beauty and inward beauty! Your blog is an inspiration.
XX, SS || A Little Seersucker Sass
Hey girl! I know exactly how you feel. I am going through this now. I have been on a journey to drop some pounds and feel comfortable in clothes that are less hiding. I Love love that dress on you and you are gorgeous. Thank you for sharing your story as well as Maxi's body loving tips. Hello print button, and push pin!!
This is such a great post! Every girl struggles with body image, but it's important that women start seeing beauty instead of flaws when they look in the mirror!
I think to find a girl who hasn't struggled with body image at some point in her life is almost impossible – unfortunately. I was gifted the square, broad-shouldered frame of my mom's family and although I was in good company growing up, I was never tiny, never the skinniest girl in school. I remember rejoicing when I fit into a juniors size 2. Not because I was finally wearing juniors clothes but because I actually never thought I'd be the kind of girl who could wear a size two. Of course, I quickly moved onto a 4 and then a 6 as I went through puberty, and have since learned to love my shape and not the size on the tag. Am I perfectly happy with my body? No, but I'm working on it.
I also love the part at the end of this about the maxi dress you are in love with. Commenting on that post how great it looked on you, I saw all the positive comments saying the same thing. I'm glad you are not only confident about how you look, but that you received so much positive feedback because it's true – you look great in it!!!
Oh and pale girls unite right here! I was just in the sunscreen aisle yesterday finding my go-to high SPF/oil-free sunscreen for the summer!
I think every human being has felt self conscience about their body at least once during their lives.
~Sophia
http://plaidismyfavouritecolour.blogspot.com/
This came at a perfect time for me. I would totally love to see more tips on your blog about this! I've personally been struggling with this a lot lately, and I know that a few of my friends have as well.
Thank you so much for sharing!
I am in the same boat with Abby! This was exactly what I needed…especially during my summer body cleanse detox!!
Great post! Thank you for being so bold and inspiring!
I think part of it has to do with growing up and knowing when to leave situations (or people) that make you feel self-conscious.
Bedknobs & Baubles
I completely get the feeling! When I was in junior high I had such issues accepting my body, but once I got to the end of eighth grade I started to accept my body for what it was: beautiful. Great post Carly 🙂
Hunter
Prep on a Budget
You look amazing in that picture. I'm currently working to loose weight to be healthier, but havin had severe body issues in the past I'm worried that it's a fine line from healthy 140 to insane 105 again (I'm 5'6) so this post and the last one are really helpful to me right now. And you being so pale gives me some confidence, I'm always the lightest foundation shade
Mana
http://www.fashionandhappythings.com
Inspiring post and that dress really does look great on you!
Lauren,
http://www.atouchofsoutherngrace.com/
As someone who has always struggled with body acceptance and image, in bad ways and good ways, it's nice to see you embrace it in an uplifting and inspiring post. It was a nice reminder for myself to be more accepting of all my body DOES rather than LOOKS. 🙂
hi Carly, I think that dress actually is the best look you post lately. To be honest sometimes I think you dress like a middle schooler, not that I don't like the style but sometimes, yeah it's really cool when you dress a bit 'mature' like that rock and roll style you tried a few months back. Sadly you said you felt uncomfortable wearing it XD no worries though, I think nobody should tell you how to dress, including me 🙂
Awesome post, Carly. Very inspiring!
Such a great post, Carly! Body image is something that everyone struggles with and for a long time it was such a taboo topic. I truly appreciate influential women, such as yourself, opening up on these kinds of issues, in order to demonstrate that everyone can love their body.
Here's a link to an interesting Youtube series by SoulPancake about women's issues, such as body image. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Lz6tYh4esY
I totally understand what you're talking about. I am constantly on an emotional swing of hating how I look (especially my body) and loving how I look. It's so hard some times because I think women are especially scrutinized. As long as all us women support each other instead of tearing each other down things will get easier and together we can all feel ok in our own skin. Also you ROCKED that dress 🙂
Natalie
pugsandpink.weebly.com
Such a great and encouraging post! I feel like I've been through similar situations (when I was in High School I was a pole vaulter and we had our weight written on our hands in sharpie for competitions!) and as a fellow blogger it can be scary to put photos out into the world. It really is about being confident in yourself and accepting your body and focusing on all the amazing things it can accomplish. Thanks for your honest sharing, so refreshing to read!
I totally remember crying when I was 13 because my cousin fit into adult clothes and I still had to wear kids' sizes, so it was refreshing to hear someone else admit to this! I felt like an ugly duckling for a really long time when I was younger because, thanks to my Portuguese side of the family, I had darker hair on my face. Nothing like being a fourteen year old and having the four year old you babysit ask why you have a mustache! 😉 Admittedly, I did something about it and got laser hair removal, so I didn't totally accept my body as it was, but since then I have truly started to be kinder to myself. I'd say it took me until college to really feel "pretty," but it is really meaningful to hear other people (yourself and Maxie included!) talk about their own challenges doing so!
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You have a gorgeous body! I have/had similar concerns, but for opposite reasons- I have a smaller chest, so I was always self-conscious that I didn't fill anything out properly, etc., but at this point, I've pretty much embraced my body. (or at least I'm way better than I was before and I'm still trying!)
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I AM VANESSA, i got married to a man [JEROME],who had a wife [JOSEPHINE] already,then i was made the second wife,and this JOSEPHINE has a daughter for my husband,called CHRISTABEL,JOSEPHINE was suffering from leg pain,that later took her life. so Christabel was left to live with me,and my two kids,PATIENCE AND GLORY,Christabel was the eldest of them, so i was misusing CHRISTABEL,SHE is the only one doing all the house work,anytime she dose some thing wrong,i wouldn't give her food to eat all through the day,and beat her up with anything close to me,but she never worry,or insult me.or report to my husband.because i told her if she did i will kill her,i did this to some extent that,one day,she was on her menstruation period, she was afraid to tell me, she was not having enough cloth,so the only cloth she had she put it into her pant,so that, the cloth would soak the bleeding,and the cloth,i was the one that brought it for her,that the only cloth i ever brought for her,then the following morning i saw her cloth on the ground,with blood stain,i called her,and ask her what is this, she told me every thing, but i beat her up, and force the blood in the cloth into her mouth,i over heard her,as she was crying,cursing me,but never bother to listen to the word she was using,but now my two daughters and my son are yet to give birth,PATIENCE,GLORY AND EXCEL,AT their age[37,34 and 31]but they are married no children,i had gone to many places to know the cause of the problem,and CHRISTABEL WAS LIVING HAPPILY with her husband and four kids, three boys and a girl.i don't know how my children,came to know about this HIOYA TEMPLE,when they got there, they told them i was the curse of their, problem,so one morning they all came home,and ask me what have i done to disturb their lives,the question sound,funny.i told them i had done nothing to hold their lives back,they cried me,down to this Hioya temple,i saw the man.he ask me what,did i do to some one,over 19 year ago,i forgot everything.i said nothing,HE EXPLAIN WHAT I DID TO ME,and this CHRISTABEL was helping my children with their needs and always come and pay me a visit and she always called me mummy,so this MAN HIOYA told me to go and apologize to her,once she accept the apology,then he will cast a pregnancy spell on my children,we all went to CHRISTABEL'S house and apologize,she forgives me,so they went back to the spell caster, for the pregnancy spell,TODAY PATIENCE CALL ME AND TOLD ME SHE IS PREGNANT,but I haven't heard anything from the others,maybe they are still angry.with me that's why they haven't called me,..THANKS TO DOCTOR HIOYA FOR EVERY THING, IF YOU ARE FACINGS ANY PROBLEM,VISIT THIS GREAT HIOYA VIA [[email protected]]]