Heavy Light

Today I was sitting at my desk working and I hadn’t heard from Teddy in a while. Normally he’s grunting or snoring or yipping and yapping at my feet for something. It scares me when he’s too quiet because I’ll typically find him sitting on top of an entire roll of paper towels he’s destroyed or something.

Instead, I turned around and found him like this. He loves to look out of the window, but he normally climbs on top of my lap rendering my hands useless as he looks out the window by my desk. When I’m working, I’ve been moving a chair from my living room so he can take a peek outside whenever he wants. This little vision made my heart absolutely melt… and I didn’t think my heart would feel like that for some time.

Some heavy things have been weighing on my heart.

It was a sad day yesterday for my Tampa friends and family, having lost a friend to many way too early. He was my dad’s friend’s son, my sister’s first prom date, and my best friend’s cousin. I spent the day talking to my family and friends and sending my love as much as I could to those hurting especially hard. At night, I was sitting there trying to answer the dark question of why these things happen. I couldn’t find the answer. It was hard to fall asleep because those thoughts are quite heavy. I wasn’t sure how I would feel waking up in the morning and there was definitely a heaviness there, as expected. There’s something heartbreakingly difficult and unfair about how life has to go on, that night falls and the sun rises anyway. That heaviness is a mix of guilt and sadness and confusion with that omnipresent question of why lingering in the air.

It was a challenge for me to get into the swing of things this morning with that heaviness. And then I saw that little image of Teddy. This massively tall window, a tiny little pup stretching to extend his vision out of the apartment– and the light hitting him gorgeously. I don’t know what it was about that light, but it did seem a bit magical. A mix of darkness and light woven through his curls.

I smiled and saw glimmer of beauty in life, where only 12 hours earlier I had struggled. My heart melted, and swelled, and I felt a little squeeze around my shoulders that reminded me that while there is darkness and the darkness is heavy… there is also light.

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I am sorry you are having a difficult time right now…oftentimes you and your writing may be the light in someone else's darkness. Thank you for sharing.

And boy oh boy, that Teddy is so adorable! What a great picture. 🙂


sorry you are having a difficult time, but i agree that it's important to remember the little things, they can be so meaningful. your blog inspires me so much – thank you! <3

Audrey Lin

I don't have my own puppy, because my mom and little brother are allergic to fur, but sometimes I go to my friends house, and her dog Hippo is always running to the windows! // I'm the worst at giving comforting words, but my condolences. -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey's

Mary Erickson

Thank you for being so open and courageous to post something so emotional and raw for you and your loved ones. Times like this make the people who follow your blog daily feel like we are more connected than ever. It can be very scary being vulnerable. You are truly inspirational!

Caroline J

You, your family and your friends in Tampa are in my prayers. This post really hit home to me. I've been going through a lot lately and this was a great reminder that I need to push through some things.

Emily Reyna


I completely get this. It's so hard, no matter what we believe in, to justify why this terrible circumstance happened. But isn't it wonderful how ultimately light outweighs the darkness? I can visibly see how much joy Teddy brings you in difficult circumstances. Thanks so much for sharing!

"But Joy comes in the Morning!"


Kaitlin Olivero

What a sweet and thoughtful post, Carly. It can get so heavy when tragedy strikes and you are left to stumble through your life when you know what lies beyond, but it is important to notice these little glimpses of life, happiness, and light. My thoughts are with you!