I’m still in my second trimester (I’m 26 and a half weeks right now), but nearing the “final stretch.” My whole mindset has changed during this trimester so far and it is a major relief. This is a bit of a rambling post. My thoughts are all over the place!
SECOND TRIMESTER PREGNANCY UPDATE
The first trimester was incredibly hard. I feel guilty saying it, but I was miserable. It was just such a challenge, physically and emotionally and mentally. And it didn’t help that the worst of my morning sickness occurred during January and February. It was dark and snowy. I missed my mom. We couldn’t go anywhere or do anything because of the pandemic. I was terrified of slipping on the icy sidewalks. Work stress piled on like it had never felt before. I had no energy and my anxiety skyrocketed. While I was thrilled to be a mom and had always dreamed of having children, I had never considered the pregnancy portion of it and it rocked me.
It seems crazy to even say this, but I genuinely have some memory loss from January and February.
It’s like those eight weeks are all mushed together and I don’t fully remember it. At first I wanted to chalk it up to the fact that every day largely felt the same, but then Mike kept bringing inconsequential things up that happened and I could not for the life of me place when it happened (or even guarantee that I remembered it happened at all). So weird… but I’m not mad about it because it’s probably for the best that I don’t remember those days very well.
Towards the end of my first trimester, I restarted therapy– truly the best thing I did for myself– and spring slowly started to melt away the winter. Literally and figuratively. My morning sickness continued until about week 16, but with every passing week I could feel the tide shifting, the brain fog clearing. The rapid physical changes started to feel less foreign and more just a part of the journey.
People had told me how “magical” the second trimester was– that I’d get my energy back and my sickness would ease…. I could not believe them. But it totally happened. I still don’t think I’m someone who is going to have a pregnancy glow, but the second trimester has been pretty magical to me.
I feel so good being fully vaccinated.
And I feel a sense of confidence and strength in my body that I’ve never felt before. I finally saw “my” people in real life! I was able to go about my day largely normally without getting sick or worrying about smells and tastes. Working out again feels fantastic.
Getting out and about made the pregnancy feel a lot more real to me. It wasn’t just something happening privately at home anymore, it was a part of who I am at this particular moment of time. The first few times I was out in public without a coat on and had a visible bump, I felt naked… but now I feel a lot better about it? (Nothing really changed besides getting used to it.)
The amazing part has been the connection I feel with my child. I have felt my priorities shift already and I find myself easily and unquestionably putting him above everything else. I feel a great sense of responsibility towards now, which I’m sure it will only increase. It scares me a little bit knowing there will be a point where he will outside of me and that I won’t be able to completely protect him from everything. I have this sense of knowing him completely and not being able to wait to know him when he’s born.