Wedding Questions, My Answers

This was a post I wrote early in July. asking you guys a bunch of questions and you delivered. Mike and I were still toying with different wedding ideas, but leaning heavily towards a short engagement and wedding in September, but wouldn’t finalize it until that weekend. Now that we’re a few weeks out from the big day, I thought I’d go back and share my responses (and revise the ones I already answered).

Do you wear your rings all the time?

YES! I had been so nervous to wear my engagement ring and then after a few weeks it started to feel weirder to not have it on. Even though I feel naked when I’m not wearing them, the novelty of them hasn’t worn off. I keep catching glimpses of my hand and just get a little butterfly feeling all over again.

Seeing Mike’s ring also gets me too– it’s so weird how much older (in a good way) he looks with it on and I kept joking that he now has a “dad hand” ha.

Did you change your name?

Still changing my name. I haven’t legally changed it yet, though working on that process. (I was hesitant to change my name before the election really, so I may hold off until I vote so there are no issues with that?)

Despite the logistical headache, I’m super excited to change my name. I feel like Mike and I are officially like a family unit. (Not that you need to share a name for that– just a personal feeling!) I’ve started to change my name on social platforms and places like that and I love it. A couple of my friends changed my contact information and that was weird! I do keep thinking about how my mom wasn’t always a Heitlinger and it’s strange that anyone I meet after this would only know me as a Riordan. Ya know?! Crazy, but a good kind of crazy.

Did you have a small, medium, or big wedding?

Tiny! We had 14 adult guests, Mike and me, three flower girls, and a photographer so 20 people total. I can’t recommend it enough. It was so intimate and special.

What’s the best thing you did for your wedding day? Anything you regretted?

I think the best thing we did was invest in flowers. I think it made the backyard feel different than just our regular everyday backyard. It was the biggest investment in terms of the wedding, but I think it was worth every penny.

I don’t regret anything that we could control. I wish we hadn’t been planning and having a wedding during a pandemic because that pandemic stress got to everyone. (It was not drama-free because everyone was anxious, myself included, but it was all perfectly fine and as safe as possible in the end.)

Would you go back and change anything?

The only thing I’d change was spending two hours the morning of the wedding freaking out 🤣 I woke up pretty early and felt great; I even did a Peloton spin class. I showered, had coffee, Facetimed with my friends. Still felt great. Then I felt ~insane~ between 10am and noon. Despite having a game plan, I started to panic that we wouldn’t have everything done. And it was a crazy two hours and we got everything done and then it was 12:30 and I had to twirl my fingers until 4pm when the wedding started, haha. I wish I had kept my cool because it was ALL FINE.

How many wedding dresses did you try on before finding “the one”?

I tried on five gowns this weekend and fell in love with the third. I haven’t completely committed to it yet because it just feels like a ton of money to spend on a dress I’ll wear once? I am torn. I will say that I enjoyed trying on gowns a lot more than I expected to. I almost went alone, but at the last minute brought two of Mike’s sisters. Because of social distancing, I could only bring two people in, so I had everyone else (Mike’s mom, my mom, my sister, and two of Mike’s other sisters) on FaceTime. Putting on a veil is what made me cry– I didn’t think I wanted to wear one until I had it on my head– and I ended up loving a dress COMPLETELY different than what I thought I wanted! 

The picture above is the almost-was dress!

So I wrote this before I found “my dress.” Even though I wrote this I wasn’t completely, fully sold on it and I’m really glad I trusted my gut. I was SO much happier with the dress I ended up getting. Even though I felt beautiful in the dresses I tried on in the salon, I couldn’t stomach the price tag and all of the dresses felt like “too much.” Ultimately the J. Crew dress is what I felt best in! So light, so comfortable. I knew the minute I tried it on that it was the one and then I brought it to a local seamstress to have it tailored to my body.

What kind of honeymoon did you take?

Our honeymoon was perfect. Definitely could have done something a bit longer, but it was absolutely perfect. I’d do it all over again, pandemic or not.

Did you do anything unique? Tips? Advice?! Something I’m not thinking about but should be?!?!

I think the biggest takeaway I had (and I think I’ve said this in one of the posts) is to really stick to what you and your partner want. Paying for everything yourselves is great because there are zero strings attached and no one to make happy for financial reasons. A lot of people have opinions and even when it comes from place of helpfulness, it can be overwhelming and even challenging to stay true to what you and your partner really want. Mike and I are still on Cloud 9 from it all… it was just such a dreamy day and a wonderful start to our marriage!