Perfectionism is a trait most people would consider a good thing. I, however, do not.
I can push aside bad tapes (bad thoughts that cycle through my head over and over and over) most of the time. However, through in lots of stress and deadlines and I lose control. The bad tapes are nearly impossible to stop and they are terrible.
My perfectionism can spiral out of control really quickly. I have struggled with it for as long as I can remember.
I have been afraid to do things because I don’t think I will succeed.
I have not completed assignments out of fear of not doing them correctly.
I have set beyond lofty goals that when not met, I basically self-destruct.
I have mistaken events out of my control as consequences of my own personal failure.
In the deepest part of my mind, I know that it is not rational.
But those tapes won’t turn off. I may not be able to turn them off completely, but I’ve learned some ways to muffle the volume of them.
I can take myself out of the room with the stereo playing the bad tapes and go next door. I can hear them, but they’re not quite as clear or loud.
Three songs are getting me through studying for finals and blocking out the bad tapes right now:
“Who Says” – Selena Gomez
Who says Who says you’re not star potential Who says you’re not presidential Who says you can’t be in movies Listen to me, listen to me Who says you don’t pass the test
“Perfect” – Pink
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead So complicated, look happy, you’ll make it!
“Firework” – Katy Perry
Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there’s still a chance for you
Cause there’s a spark in you
I completely know what you mean! I think a lot of people struggle with it, particularly when it comes to work- it can be hard to bounce back from something when your best is not perfect. But what is perfect anyway?
I know exactly how you feel! Hang in there though! Those songs are perfect choices. Have a listen to this song, you might like it 🙂 It's called It's Only Life by Kate Voegele. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5Pl9iJsPjI
when I was in college, I was part of a group of girls who read the book "Perfecting Ourselves to Death" by Richard Winters. as a self-diagnosed perfectionist, I really learned a lot about letting go of control by reading it and it was a really great thing to talk with people who struggled with the same thing I did. 🙂 best of luck to you with finals!
I really like "Who Says"! I was surprised when I found out it was Selena Gomez, she has a great voice! Good luck getting through finals!! I am an extreme perfectionist and I made it through college and you can too!
Oh, hon. Speaking as another person with a whoppin' case of the crazies (seriously, I had the same problems you did when I was in college, except I don't think I handled it with nearly as much aplomb and grace as you), big hugs. And good on you for drowning them out! Good luck with finals – it's almost time for summer!
I can 100% relate to you on this! Perfectionism is definitely something that is great and destructive at the same time. It's all about learning how to control it. Good luck with exams!
good luck girl! i'm a perfectionist too, and i hate it. there's nothing that i can do. that's just how my environment shaped me to survive (at least with me). i also want to do the best and get down on myself with i don't met the set expectations.
I'm a perfectionist that gets frustrated easily–worst trait combo ever! I've kind of gotten better at prioritizing over the years, though. Good playlist!
I hear you 100%! I have also struggled with being a perfectionist most of my life. The self-criticism really wears on me, and instead of obtaining the level of perfection in my life I desire, my morale tumbles. Recently I've tried being a perfect imperfectionist, meaning I strive to do the best that I can, but if I don't succeed, it's perfectly fine. I constantly remind myself that everybody makes mistakes, even if I'm not there to witness them. Good luck with finals! And if you find yourself feeling down, just strive for perfect imperfection 🙂
I can definitely agree with you on this- especially the part about not doing things because of what you THINK might happen, and about stressing on assignments because you think you won't do them perfectly.
One of my favorite songs to calm me down when the "bad tapes" are getting to be too much is "Little Moments" by Brad Paisley, especially the line "I know she's not perfect, but she tries so hard for me, and I thank God that she isn't, because how boring would that be?"
When the bad thoughts get us down, we need to remember that, in life and in love, giving your all is important, but that the imperfections are what makes us special, and that those who truly love you will accept you for them.
I can't believe that you've put into words what I struggle with as well. I've been dealing with my crazy obsession with control and perfection for a long time, and I've never really been able to voice my problem with it, and through reading this post I kept yelling 'yes!' so thank you and good luck on your finals!
We came, we saw elephants, we ate ice cream 🐘🦒🦓 @ashleybrooke and I always talk about how we became FAST friends. Somehow we have been right there with each other during some of life’s worst moments… so it’s extra sweet that we now get to celebrate the good ones! Watching our boys play together, a little baby in a stroller, and another baby on the way… it’s everything we dreamed of.
Somehow yesterday felt like a week, last month was last year, and last year was a decade ago… but then time is simultaneously going by so fast too. The past ten weeks have gone by in a blink! Everyone warns you it goes by fast and they’re not wrong…. The days are long but oh how I wish time would slow down a bit? Or that maybe I could bottle up a tiny bit of these precious boys at every stage so I could revisit them down the road 🤍
I have grown to LOVE baby wearing. Not only do I think it’s such a nice and cozy way to bond with baby, it’s also incredibly practical, especially when you have a toddler to keep up with too! The @wildbird aerial carrier was a treat for myself- and I’m so obsessed with it. 👶🏼 Leave a comment “wildbird” and I’ll DM you the color I have as well as my personal review of it (including some troubleshooting tips).
Some top level things I like; - it’s easy to put on! - it’s so, so comfortable (for me AND baby!) - the little flap is seamless and provides extra support while baby naps and privacy when we need/want it
This affordable rechargeable LED lamp is cute and then made even cuter with this wicker lampshade! 💡✨ No cords needed- just charge and place wherever you want. (Will be extra perfect for dining outdoors this summer!) 💫 Comment “lamp” and I’ll send you links to the LED lamp ($38 for a pair!) and the lampshade (available in a few styles- including a darling blue).
Not really in the mood to be in photos right now, but I keep telling myself I’ll want to look back on these moments and remember them. (Right?!) when I look at these photos in 10, 20, 30 years…
I hope I remember Jack “rescuing” Rory from a windy tent, not how I stood in front of my closet with tears in my eyes.
I hope I remember watching Jack roll down hills and play hop scotch and scoot down the sidewalk with his besties, not that I caught a glimpse of my reflection and didn’t recognize myself.
I hope I remember sitting outside with my friend happily watching our kids play (while watching the minutes until bedtime tick by), and not that I spent too much time zooming in and examining every new wrinkle on my face.
I hope I remember the pure joy of these early warm days with my little family whom I love so much 🤍
The weather is warming up and I’m feeling slightly more comfortable in my skin every day ☀️ Here’s what I wore last week as a mom of two. I have a two and a half year old toddler and a two month old so I need outfits I feel good in, can chase a little guy around in, AND that I can breastfeed easily while wearing. 🔗 Leave a comment with “OUTFITS” to get links to every outfit I wore!
This room is so very special 🤍 The little cars sprinkled everywhere (watch your step!). A tiny sock, never two, peeled off and tucked somewhere hidden away. Piles of books that grow almost as quickly as the little boy who sleeps here. Outgrown pants and shoes to grow into mingling in the closet. Often messy, and a little cluttered, but a little boy lives here. 🚘☀️🐶📚🧸
(Rory is still in our room, but eventually the boys will share. I can picture their little twin beds already!)
About ten days ago, I noticed that today’s forecast was looking WARM. I told Mike, “We’re walking into town and sitting outside and I’m getting a beer. Put it on your calendar.” It ended up being warmer than forecasted (almost eighty degrees!) and let me tell you, it delivered. Today felt like the beginning of The Season™: dinners al fresco, beers/fries/ice creams, and late bedtimes. Indulging in it all because the kids are only getting older and we’re the grownups (somehow) and we get to make the rules ✌🏻
Dress is @tuckernuck & sweater is @kiltecollection
Good luck on your exams! I can so relate to your perfectionist personality.
I completely know what you mean! I think a lot of people struggle with it, particularly when it comes to work- it can be hard to bounce back from something when your best is not perfect. But what is perfect anyway?
Great post!
Becca x
honestlybec.blogspot.com
I know exactly how you feel! Hang in there though!
Those songs are perfect choices. Have a listen to this song, you might like it 🙂 It's called It's Only Life by Kate Voegele.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5Pl9iJsPjI
when I was in college, I was part of a group of girls who read the book "Perfecting Ourselves to Death" by Richard Winters. as a self-diagnosed perfectionist, I really learned a lot about letting go of control by reading it and it was a really great thing to talk with people who struggled with the same thing I did. 🙂 best of luck to you with finals!
Dude! I LOVE that SELENA song! I've been jamming to it for like a month! Great post!
Good luck to you on exams! Thank goodness I have none 🙂
I really like "Who Says"! I was surprised when I found out it was Selena Gomez, she has a great voice! Good luck getting through finals!! I am an extreme perfectionist and I made it through college and you can too!
Oh, hon. Speaking as another person with a whoppin' case of the crazies (seriously, I had the same problems you did when I was in college, except I don't think I handled it with nearly as much aplomb and grace as you), big hugs. And good on you for drowning them out! Good luck with finals – it's almost time for summer!
Those are all great "pick me up" songs. I have been obsessed with "Who Says" recently too! Great song choices.
-Emmy
http://www.sprinklesoneverything.wordpress.com
I can 100% relate to you on this! Perfectionism is definitely something that is great and destructive at the same time. It's all about learning how to control it. Good luck with exams!
I deeply empathize with this; rooting for you, girl!
I'm a perfectionist too! My problem with it though is I just am overly hard on myself when things don't go as I had hoped! Good luck, we can make it!
good luck girl! i'm a perfectionist too, and i hate it. there's nothing that i can do. that's just how my environment shaped me to survive (at least with me). i also want to do the best and get down on myself with i don't met the set expectations.
I'm a perfectionist that gets frustrated easily–worst trait combo ever! I've kind of gotten better at prioritizing over the years, though. Good playlist!
I hear you 100%! I have also struggled with being a perfectionist most of my life. The self-criticism really wears on me, and instead of obtaining the level of perfection in my life I desire, my morale tumbles. Recently I've tried being a perfect imperfectionist, meaning I strive to do the best that I can, but if I don't succeed, it's perfectly fine. I constantly remind myself that everybody makes mistakes, even if I'm not there to witness them.
Good luck with finals! And if you find yourself feeling down, just strive for perfect imperfection 🙂
Thank you, for writing exactly what I needed to hear tonight =)
Good luck on finals!
I can definitely agree with you on this- especially the part about not doing things because of what you THINK might happen, and about stressing on assignments because you think you won't do them perfectly.
One of my favorite songs to calm me down when the "bad tapes" are getting to be too much is "Little Moments" by Brad Paisley, especially the line "I know she's not perfect, but she tries so hard for me, and I thank God that she isn't, because how boring would that be?"
When the bad thoughts get us down, we need to remember that, in life and in love, giving your all is important, but that the imperfections are what makes us special, and that those who truly love you will accept you for them.
thank you for posting these songs. i listened to "who says" and it instantly boosted my self-confidence! i wish you all the best for your exams.
I can't believe that you've put into words what I struggle with as well. I've been dealing with my crazy obsession with control and perfection for a long time, and I've never really been able to voice my problem with it, and through reading this post I kept yelling 'yes!' so thank you and good luck on your finals!
jenn.
Love the Selena song!