The shame, guilt and horror of what I’d done were so deep that I couldn’t deal with being present in my own life. I just watched it from a distance. I wasn’t me. At times, truckloads of emotions boiled up, and I exploded in uncontrollable crying, screaming and shouting. The outbursts lasted for hours. I was an intelligent and capable young woman yet the way I was living was incongruent with what my heart knew to be true, and it caused extreme conflict within. Continue reading
The problem with deception is, you don’t know you’re walking in it until it’s too late. Considering the way I was living, it shouldn’t have been such a shock to discover my period was two weeks late. I was in the middle of a shift at work when it dawned on me. Initially, I didn’t even entertain the idea I was pregnant. Girls have irregular periods all the time. Surely I couldn’t be pregnant? Continue reading
There is no second chance to prepare. When we prepare well for a job, a speech or new responsibility, we step into that season with greater ease. The same applies to marriage. The harder you work to prepare before marriage the easier start to married life you’ll have.
It’s a common question when you’re single. Your list, not unlike a list for Santa, is a list of requirements Mr Right needs to embody to be considered potentially date-worthy.
Writing a list felt daunting… a little too absolute for my liking. I didn’t want to be specific nor did I want to be too open. I didn’t really know what I wanted. The last guy I dated had ticked all my boxes yet the outcome of our relationship couldn’t have been further from what I’d envisaged. Continue reading
Within these pages are some of my most vulnerable and private moments. Some bring such joy while others are so painful they bring tears to my eyes as I write: the shameful things I hid, the feelings of devastation I felt as the consequences of my poor decisions unfolded, and the isolation that grew within me as I did my best to walk out my journey.
As confronting as these years are to pen, I write them in the hope that perhaps you will find encouragement on your journey. Our stories are made to be told, to be shared and enjoyed.
My story begins when I was twenty-one and made the decision to remain single. Forever. Relationships, dating and marriage weren’t for me. Better to remain single forever and protect myself from any future heartache.
When I made this decision, it was genuine. I couldn’t risk being hurt again, wasting time with the wrong guy, or worse still, waiting in hope for the knight in shining armour who never arrives. I wasn’t willing to lower my standards either. I’d watched friends settle for less, then years later find themselves unhappy, and again out of love. No thanks! Not for me. I wanted to let go of the idea of ‘happily ever after’ and move onto the next phase of my life.
For a while, I walked out this decision confident it was right for me. Then, a few months in, it dawned on me that my decision to remain single was consequently a decision to forfeit having children. Having children was one of the many unspoken expectations I assumed I’d tick off as I navigated the seasons of life.
Finish school- check
Get married- check
Start a family- check
And of course, all the while continuing to pursue the call of God. Not too much to ask, right?
Deep down, when I was honest with myself, I did want children. This meant I did want to get married, which meant, one day, I’d have to approach the whole dating thing again.
Fast forward twelve years and these days I find myself happily married, with two gorgeous girls. Thankfully this challenging season is a distant memory. It still brings a smile to my face, though. God had to teach me so much.
Daughter Wait! is my story, and I am honoured to share it with you. It’s not just for singles or those dating it’s a story everyone can relate to—a good dose of inspiration right when you need it.
How can you help?
Pre-order a copy or two of the book at the discounted pre-launch price. Then share and like future posts to help get the message out.
The aim is to be able to get enough pre-orders to cover the cost of printing. I am just a few weeks away from being able to send the book to print [insert happy dance, tears and all the feels ha!]
Thanks in advance for your support.
Got a question about dating and relationships?
Use the contact form below and I’ll answer all questions anonymously in an upcoming series of Q & A blogs. Stay tuned.
What do you want to leave in twenty-seventeen? Regrets? Conversations? Decisions? Everyday moments that didn’t unfold as you’d hoped? Instead of letting go, too often we hold on. We hold on in the attempt to understand, to recover something of worth. Holding on anchors us to the past. In order to make way for the new year, I’m choosing to empty myself of the stale enablement of yesteryear. Continue reading
I was standing in our bedroom when the call came through. I had a pretty clear idea what was happening so I stood still, not wanting to interrupt my husband as he spoke. That, and I needed the privacy to pull myself together.
Last week I prayed a prayer I’d never prayed before. As I explored the words that effortlessly flowed from my mouth, I pondered their validity and origin—was it ‘right’ to pray this way? Was this evidence of defeat or an indication of spiritual growth? Continue reading
This February I decided to face fear. Not the big fears: flying, spiders, death… the small fears that hold me back. Continue reading